The “Help Us Save Mikey” Supporters Are Still As Dumb As A Bag Of Rocks, But I Spoke To The Authorities And Thankfully They Are Not, So Now Starts The Countdown To Jail For Mike Cadena

The “Help Us Save Mikey” Supporters Are Still As Dumb As A Bag Of Rocks, But I Spoke To The Authorities And Thankfully They Are Not, So Now Starts The Countdown To Jail For Mike Cadena

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Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship.


*Note from the blogger: If you haven’t acquainted yourself yet with the garbage human being, pathological liar and child exploitation professional that Michael Cadena, Sr. is, check out the links below. We have been chronicling this scam for a while now, and will continue to as it appears that justice being served on Con-Man Mike is imminent.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3


Mike Cadena Released From Jail




Michael Cadena just won’t quit his bullshit smear campaign. He has allowed his circus to grow to such insane proportions that the US Marshall is now involved. Of course, he and his insane followers put their own special little spin on it:

No, you fucking half-wit. That’s not what it means. One of his supporters came pretty damn close to coming up with an accurate explanation, though!

Spoiler alert: I spoke to detective Cory Beverlin of the McLean county sheriff’s office. The detective who has been assigned to taking all these calls. But we’ll get to his statement right after these death threats and bullshit comments that Mike Cadena and his crew of fools has been actively encouraging!


And if it’s not bad enough that good ole Mike lets this garbage get posted in the comments of his bullshit “Help us Save Mikey Page”, Mikey-Mike and the Halfwit Bunch have been going out of their way to make sure that Amber Buck gets harassed and threatened directly. Which is, ya know, a crime. Because Mike Cadena is a no good pathological liar and criminal.

Lovely. Definitely makes a good case for dear old dad being a “fit parent”. Nothing quite like inciting strangers to physical violence directed at the custodial parent of your child to show how much you care for his safety!!

And “allegedly” he’s got people stalking his little boy and his mother, too…

More bullshit, because Mike Cadena is incapable of telling the truth, ever. Court documents have confirmed this. Mike’s own words have confirmed this, and now, the Attorney General’s office and McLean County Sheriffs office has as well.

Straight out of Detective Cory Beverlin’s mouth, he has been assigned to field phone calls made to Judge Hill’s office by the US Marshall’s office. Ok, Mike, so that much is true. But…why? Is is because of all the death threats you are sending your brainless minions to go make over complete lies? Ding, ding, ding! We have the answer. According to Detective Beverlin, if you’ve made any threats against Judge Hill for doing her job and not allowing this psychopath to make a mockery of the courts at his own child’s expense, congratulations. You have won an imminent visit from the US Marshalls and swift prosecution. Be proud. You’re really doing God’s Michael Cadena’s dirty work here.

Also, according to the Attorney General’s office, they have been advising people to stop buying into Mike Cadena’s bullshit and just leave their office alone. Of course, Mike, their PR guy, is a lot better at delicately wording stuff than I am. But, boy oh boy, Mike, do we have a surprise for you! How does fraud charges for your fraudulent and deceptive fundraising sound? I know when I heard it, they sounded great to me! Tiffany Mcneil, our biggest fan, told us he looked great in his prison jumpsuit. And I mean “biggest” in the most bovine way possible, cuz bitch is a sad looking cow.

Tiffany, I sure hope you meant it, because it looks like he’ll be rocking that look again soon enough.  Are you going to help pay back all the people he scammed, Tiff? Lord knows you could use to skip a few meals. But let’s face it, odds are you’re unemployed anyway.

Detective Beverlin also wanted to clarify, that he worked in law enforcement in the area in question surrounding the “Abuse” allegations Mr. Cadena has made. He, just like the local DCFS office, assured me that had these things that Mikey-boy claimed happened actually happened, there is exactly 0.00% chance that no legal action would have been taken. That’s common sense, but on the HUSM page, common sense is definitely not common.

Also, what you DIDN’T see were the pictures taken shortly after that now infamous child exploitation film viral video. Here’s Mikey, looking happy as a clam next to his mother, checking out the Weymouth police motorcycles:


And because even “Grammy” has got a head full of rocks, she of course is convinced that isn’t a Weymouth PD bike, and the mom and her lawyer MUST be lying….


Yes, it is a Weymouth PD motorcycle. Newsflash, Babs – just because your son is a remorseless pathological liar, doesn’t mean that everybody is. You’re forgiven, though. It’s just your frame of reference showing.

And while Mikey-Mike enjoys attempting to discredit us publicly, privately he spends his time kissing our asses and begging for help with his scam. Sorry, but we are NOT con artist consultants. We do facts here.


And he just really likes to name drop and completely disregard that we already went over the “evidence” and it determined he is full of shit. Besides, I’m a chick, shit-for-brains. My name isn’t “Aiden”, and he never promised to speak with you. Why would he? This is my story, and I wrote it while having tits and a vagina. Because I’m a GIRL. I thought the “chick” part made it pretty clear, but I guess we all can’t be rocket scientists here.


He did let us know that he’s done more “bad” than we even published, so, that’s cool. Great dad right there, ladies and gents.


So, long story short, we tried to tell you people. And of course our readers, who are the smartest, sexiest, bullshit-proof people on the planet, already sniffed out the bullshit on their own. I’m just ecstatic that the Help Us Save Mikey racket is crumbling. Not only is the legal hammer getting closer and closer to falling down on Mike Cadena, but Kash Jackson for Governor and Economics in the Media have already pulled their posts supporting this “Father”. And good, he’s a monster who doesn’t care about his kid, only himself. My fingers are literally itching to report his arrest, you guys! This is gonna be YUGE. Dont. Poke. The. Turtle.


Update – looks like Mike is losing his shit and nose diving into an eight ball or something, because he is devolving from a slick PR machine to an incoherent hot mess for the whole world to see. Must’ve been Lisa’s day off getting a pumpkin spice colon cleanse or something, because Cadena’s true colors are showing more and more.


8 Comment(s)
  • JoeMomma
    October 31, 2018 at 11:07 am

    Are you sure this idiot is the father? He doesn’t seem smart enough to know how to fuck.

  • Truth spitter
    October 31, 2018 at 12:29 am

    Encore! Encore! NOW THIS IS TURTLEBOY INVESTIGATES standard being met not that pathic 560k part, repetative, boring “series” about Off Leask K9.

    I also know Kristen Fuck one of his dumb ads blind supporters. PATHALOGICAL liar junkie, got pregnant while living in a halfway house in Brockton by a dude she met in detox who was doing heroine during conception. So yeah, need I say more???

  • Dennis Burns
    October 30, 2018 at 10:02 pm

    Mike, I am very experienced in using kids for cash. I will be your new campaign manager. Cut me a check for $100 grand and I’ll be right back.

  • The Doctor
    October 30, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    Dear Clarence…

    Dude, there is no Clarence.

  • Someone tell Grammy
    October 30, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    Dude.. scroll in to the picture of the mom and the kid, the pic on the right side. The motorcycle literally says “Weymouth Police”. Guess we know where Mike Sr. gets that pathological gene from.

  • Auto Correct
    October 30, 2018 at 7:43 pm

    This guy cares more about himself than he does his son. The fact that he wanted Turtleboy to cover the story shows how willing he is to exploit his own kid. The mother should be filing a civil suit for defamation in 3..2…1…

  • Fuck mike cadena
    October 30, 2018 at 7:03 pm

    I cant wait either! Gonna be so good when hes hauled off for awhile. Hopefully years. Piece of trash.

  • Mikey
    October 30, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    My Daddy is a cock sucker.

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