All-Star Criminals

The MBTA Bologna Baton Bandit Strikes Again: Gives Girls Front Row Tickets To Porridge Gun Show On Green Line, Let’s Identify Him

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever,  and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Remember this guy from 3 weeks ago?

He’s the one who gave a turtle rider a front row seat to the porridge gun show on the ride into work from Franklin….

Well here’s the thing with these pervatrons – they just can’t help themselves. And this mother fucker did it again…..

This time he was on the green line though, and he whipped out the corn on the throb in front of a bunch of underage girls and once again he was taking pictures of them. Notice he’s got a wedding ring on too. The wife’s gonna love finding how he get his jollies on Turtleboy. Divorce city dodge, here we cum!

And guess where the MBTA police got this hot tip from?

Where else but the turtle?

The green line does not go to Franklin. That means this guy literally rides the rails looking for new audiences to show off his Jurassic pork to.

I don’t get it. If you’re a pervert like this, why not just take pictures of them, then go home and choke the clown? You give yourself away by going full chub in front of them. Kind of hard to miss pal.

Someone’s gotta know who this chudstuffer is. I’m sure these are not the only two women who have been forced to endure his battle of the bulge.

Let’s find him. Email us at or message Turtleboy Sports Return on Facebook if you know who he is.

21 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    May 21, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    He’s doing it for a vicarious thrill. It’s the same reason Pee Wee Herman jacked it in that porno theater instead of waiting until he got home. I’m the back of his mind he WANTS to get caught.

  • Rachet Merc
    May 20, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    You fucking cunts think it’s OK for him to stand in front of underage girls with his dick inches from their faces?

    I’d thread my keys through my fingers and punch this motherfucker so hard in the balls that he pukes blood and then I’d finish them off in front of everyone, drag his carcass off the train at the next stop, and drop it on the tracks so that he’d be meatloaf when the next train arrived.

    • Not so fast
      May 21, 2018 at 8:33 am

      Inside of 128 is a testosterone free zone. They will see you coming a mile away. They have their own way of handling this which involves coloring books and therapy gerbils.

  • #metoo maybethree
    May 20, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    How sexist, racist and how dare you discriminate that way – OK, he”s sporting a woody, what the hell? His hands aren’t on it, maybe it’s cold and the broads got nippley and all he did was stand there and look a bunch of nipples pointing out at him and he got a little nippley hizself…geez, you walk into a place this summer, got that A/C on blast, you’ll two erections -vs- his one…We have to call the police twice ??? You’re like a stop it! 🙂

    • Tom
      May 20, 2018 at 5:22 pm

      Nope, clearly it’s a crime to stand near women on public transportation. Duh.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    May 20, 2018 at 9:23 am

    ‘he whipped out the corn on the throb’

    Still laughing over that one

    That’s hilarious

  • LittleDownThere
    May 19, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    My wife asked me “Why can’t I meet a guy like this?”


  • Feminist
    May 19, 2018 at 1:32 pm


    • It's a Man's World Bitch!
      May 19, 2018 at 3:02 pm

      Women should not be allowed to have their periods around men.

  • Forrest Plump
    Hugh G. Pennis
    May 19, 2018 at 12:24 pm

    Ma’am, could you describe the pervert?
    “Yes, he had one eye, a bright red face, and was wearing a turtleneck”.

  • #MeToo
    May 19, 2018 at 11:46 am

    It should be illegal for men to stand next to women without their consent.
    It should be illegal for me to look at women without their consent.
    If they do, they should be charged with rape.
    98 percent of men have raped before and will rape again.


    #MeToo #TimesUp

    • Publius
      May 19, 2018 at 5:25 pm

      good one. too funny.

  • Baldo Coochino
    May 19, 2018 at 11:22 am

    The man involved in the most recent incident is wearing sunglasses so it can’t be the same person. However both individuals are white so take that turtlefuckers.

    • Publius
      May 19, 2018 at 5:26 pm

      white? you sure?

  • Frankenstein Forehead
    May 19, 2018 at 9:31 am

    It puts the lotion on it’s skin.

    Frankenstein wants his forehead back…. arrrr. arrr arrrrr I am not an animal!!!!

  • Clitty Litter
    May 19, 2018 at 8:21 am

    That’s why we were never allowed to ride the City bus as kids.
    Dammit, parents were right again!

  • Walter "Woman R Just Toys To Me" Bird
    May 19, 2018 at 3:01 am

    I abhor this guy and his technique. I have the decency to get them into my office down here at Worcester Magazine and shake them down for sex by using my magazine as leverage. I know how to harness woman so they think I am doing them a favor. That subway pervert is just crude.

  • mike
    May 19, 2018 at 12:29 am

    he’ll do hard time

  • mike
    May 19, 2018 at 12:29 am

    i hope he gets a stiff penalty

    • Hughbo Mont
      May 19, 2018 at 10:26 am

      LOL You here all week?

  • BostonGirl02129
    May 19, 2018 at 12:10 am

    I still think he has a husband, not a wife hmmm

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?