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Reader Email: Chudpacker On MBTA Celebrates Girth Day By Forcing Us To Look At Battle Of The Bulge Going On In His Pants

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Here’s your email of the day about yet another perv on the MBTA:

She wasn’t kidding….

Holy battle of the bulge!!

Thank the good lord I don’t have to commute to Boston every day. Seems like shit like this happens all the time.

Like when infamous New Bedford cross dressing hooker Aaron Ball exposed himself.

Or the registered sex offender making tummy pancakes in his sweatpants in front of the entire train.

Or the Saugus Daddy-Daughter date gone wrong when they ended up assaulting a MBTA cop.

Screen Shot 2017-03-07 at 12.50.24 PM

Or the piece of shit who assaulted a woman on video.

Screen Shot 2016-08-04 at 8.53.52 AM

It just never ends with the rat race.

But this?

This is just……fucked up. I mean, look at the look he’s giving them.

“Don’t act like you’re not impressed.” That face will give me nightmares for at least a fortnight.

Christ, I understand sometimes you get a little morning wood fellas, but tuck it into your belt like a civilized human being. We are not impressed by your girth. We get it – you have a functional penis. Congratulations.

I mean, what’s this guy thinking? That these strange women will be so impressed by the outline of his porridge gun that they’ll be unable to resist taking him into the lady’s room at the next stop and treating him to a DNA slurpie? That’s not how it works guys. If a woman wants to see your junk, she’ll ask for it. It’s really not that hard to grasp, no pun intended.

Do you know who this guy is? Send us a line at if you do. Because I’m wiling to bet it’s not the first time this has happened.

19 Comment(s)
  • PervFinder
    April 26, 2018 at 5:28 pm

    He clearly has a big dildo in his pants.
    Besides, any normal man would be embarrassed to have wood on a train for no reason at all.
    Let’s find this weirdo.

  • Jen
    April 26, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    This guy look a lot like my creepy, peeper neighbor across the st.

  • GayDar Beeping
    April 26, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    1st off I think this article is useful so people can identify the shitbag for what he is and keep your kids and your self far away from the fucking Perv … and are we just going to ignore his fucking man purse ?? He looks like a flaming homosexual… why no ?

  • Dieter
    April 26, 2018 at 10:38 am

    I wonder if there’s viagra in his purse

  • Rick Shaw
    Rick Shaw
    April 26, 2018 at 10:19 am

    God that’s a packed train. What did Hitler board everyone?

  • Biggus Dickus
    April 26, 2018 at 9:33 am

    We have to look at yucky erect nipples under your thin shirts all day long, ladies. Turnabout is fair play.

  • Lisa Girard
    April 26, 2018 at 9:02 am

    If I saw that I would have sucked it dry!

    • Kevi
      April 26, 2018 at 9:52 am


  • Meat Pipe
    April 26, 2018 at 8:36 am

    I’d rather scrub my junk with a steel brush and sulphuric acid than take the train every day.

  • Trapped
    April 26, 2018 at 7:57 am

    The wedding ring would explain why it wasn’t taken care of before he got on the train.

  • Shame
    April 26, 2018 at 7:52 am

    Not to feed the stereotype but I think that the black guy is laughing at him

  • calls bullshit
    April 26, 2018 at 7:50 am

    Useless article. C’mon man. This is the complaint of the day?

  • Kevi
    April 26, 2018 at 7:35 am

    Well don’t be bitches about it! Relieve that poor man!

  • Nadia Yenraek
    April 26, 2018 at 6:57 am

    Right – cuz the ONLY thing that could possibly cause that bulge is his dick.
    There’s enough bullshit going on in the world. Why do you need to make shit up?

    • Benefit of the doubt
      April 26, 2018 at 7:40 am

      Good point. He may have stuffed his pants which wouldn’t be pervy at all. These turtlefuckers jump to conclusions do quickly.

  • whatevuh
    April 26, 2018 at 6:04 am

    It’s probably a banana just to get a reaction

  • Too Tall Tim
    Too Tall Tim
    April 26, 2018 at 2:51 am

    If I had a girlfriend tell me this guy did this to her I would get her a stun gun and tell her what (part of him) to use as a target.

    • Too Tall Tim
      Too Tall Tim
      April 26, 2018 at 2:55 am

      That is if he shows up to do it again.

  • Walter "Shine My Helmet Ladies" Bird
    April 26, 2018 at 1:33 am

    I so want to try this myself on a WRTA bus.

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