All-Star Criminals

The Queef Patrol Is Really Mad At WCVB For Sharing Mugshot Of Tyrannosaurus Necks

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Happy Friday turtle riders. Let’s start the day off with some good ol fashion ratchet comedy. This one comes out of the state that invented ratchets – Florida. Not just regular Florida either, this is out of Escambia County, which is basically Alabama-Florida. It’s like the Florida, MA of Florida. And the jokes just write themselves.

Ladies and gentlemen meet Dion McDowell. The only man left in America who still uses a Neckstel cell phone. A man who doesn’t have to say anything at the basketball court because everyone knows he got necks. A man who has run afoul of every necks-girlfriend he’s ever had. A man who can inflict more damage than a Tyrannosaurus Necks. A man whose role model growing up was Malcolm Necks. The only man in America who can sell advertising space on his neck. You know he was a C-Section, with a neck like that he couldn’t fit out of the Fall River Guttermuppet’s birth canal.

Tons of media outlets have shared links to this, because it’s hilarious. But of course there’s no shortage of Internet queefs whining about organizations like WCVB being mean.

“Wah, wah!! The news is being mean to a criminal!! Wah, wah!! People are having fun and enjoying life!! Wah, wah!! I tried reporting this to Facebook but my iPhone got lodged in my twat again!! Wah, wah!!”

Necka please. Calm your tits.

Here’s the SSTG top 20 comments on Necktor Salamanca’s mughsot……

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Happy Friday turtle riders!!

17 Comment(s)
  • Mr. Nuttasit Keawcham
    November 18, 2018 at 9:16 pm

    Pour his ass a cup of necscafe…

  • SMH
    November 17, 2018 at 3:33 am

    Cops not gonna choke-out that neckka

  • Judge dread
    November 17, 2018 at 1:43 am

    Despite his charges with meth and coke and shit, he is kinda a folk lore hero.

  • Leroy Whitekins
    November 16, 2018 at 4:42 pm

    The blacks are the worst thing ever to happen to the United States. After freeing them, we whites have nothing other than to put up with their criminality, victimization, and overall entitlement.

    What a burden we took on.

  • Whitey Bulger
    November 16, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    We shoulda picked our own damn cotton

    • Linda
      November 16, 2018 at 6:30 pm

      Picking cotton sucks so bad that we had to force people to do it. No white folk be dealing with that.

  • phong
    November 16, 2018 at 4:08 pm

    He must have dozens of vampires stalking him.

  • marilu
    November 16, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    dude looks like gucci mane after swallowing a bible

    at least he smiling in his mug shot, all the criticism cant get him down !!

  • Drago
    November 16, 2018 at 2:58 pm

    I lost it at ” Dude puts his turtleneck sweaters on upside down”

    • M
      November 16, 2018 at 5:16 pm

      That is where I lost it too.

  • Stunt Penis
    November 16, 2018 at 11:52 am

    Holy shit. I haven’t seen billboards that huge. Or asses on black chicks in Doooooorchesta.

  • Former Naval Officer Stationed Down There
    November 16, 2018 at 11:39 am

    If you like powdery white sand beaches that stretch for miles (so long you’re guaranteed a private beach) and blissfully warm and inviting turquoise seas, Pensacola, Florida (Escambia County) is for you. I hope you just don’t mind a bit of good ol’ fashioned southern ratchetry and lingering racism mixed in.

  • Dr. Who The Fuck
    November 16, 2018 at 11:20 am

    Is that neck a medical condition???

    • Honkey Kong
      November 16, 2018 at 11:33 am

      Necka, please.

      • Santa Rosa
        November 16, 2018 at 3:50 pm

        Lived in Santa Rosa county right near Pensacola. Get yourself a Bushwacker down there. It’s an amazing play to live. Having said…

        “Not just regular Florida either, this is out of Escambia County, which is basically Alabama-Florida. It’s like the Florida, MA of Florida. And the jokes just write themselves.”

        They actually sometimes call it Florbama.

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    November 16, 2018 at 11:18 am

    I got tears in my eyes I’m laughing so hard. I’m sure he’d be allergic to little neck clams, too.

    Oh, And I bet the the meth wasn’t methadone.

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      November 16, 2018 at 11:20 am

      Oops, just one “the”, I don’t stutter. LOL

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