All-Star Criminals

This Gender Non-Conforming Websterite Bank Robber Who Drew A Mustache On Their Face Is The Most Webster Bank Robber Of All Time

If you’re gonna rob a bank then you’re gonna wanna make sure you have a good disguise. This is not a good disguise.


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Here’s your latest chapter of Webster ratchets doing Webster things:



White female? Am I color AND gender blind? Because when I look at this face the last things I think of are “white” or “female”:


Looks to me to be a gender non-conforming troglodyte whose looking to get his or her next batch of Webster street heroin.


Only a Websterite could concoct a plan so genius. Because you know you’re on camera when you rob a bank, so you’ve got to find some way to disguise yourself. Sunglasses? Overrated. Hats? Those don’t fool anyone. Better go with a mustache. But not one of those bushy mustaches. Let’s take a magic marker to our face and draw it on so you look like the guy who started doing keg stands at 6:30 and ended up passing out early and waking up with a dick drawn on your face. That will fool them!!

And I’m sorry, how does this count as robbing a bank? Bank robbers are such pussies these days. Back in the day when men were men bank robbers used to walk into the joint, guns-a-blazin, and demand to get in the vault. Now it’s just a bunch of crackheads passing notes. How is this any different from panhandling? Instead of a sign they have a note, and instead of a car they walk up to the bank teller. If you don’t at least show your gun, the policy is you should be laughed out of the bank.

Anyway, anyone know this chud? If so, then please contact the Webster Police. Just try to have better information than this:


SMH. And if that fails tell Uncle Turtleboy and we’ll publicly humiliate them like we always do.


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8 Comment(s)
  • LLC
    December 21, 2016 at 12:55 pm

    Terry McNamara =Columbo.

  • BlackandWhite
    December 21, 2016 at 5:44 am

    OMG! It’s PAT!!

  • #ImSoWebster
    December 20, 2016 at 9:21 pm

    No, the “most Webster” people wouldn’t turn to crime because Websterites are intellectual, witty and responsible. This is why weneed the #ImSoWebster hashtag of people’s achievements, like “#ImSoWebster, my 401(k) is growing as quickly as my bookshelf” or “#ImSoWebster, I got a 4.0 this semester of college” or “#ImSoWebster I went to the gym every day this week”

    • GFY
      December 20, 2016 at 10:40 pm

      Lol, no one in Webster has done anything less than terrible ever

  • Wabbitt
    December 20, 2016 at 8:10 pm

    Someone I used to work with told me about this and I thought she was screwing with me.


    Never change, Webster…

  • Justice
    December 20, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    lol…what an asshole! BUT I GOT MY TURTLEBOY SWEATSHIRT TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME!!!!!!

  • Turd Burglestein
    December 20, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    She was going for the cookie monster disguise in that blue hoodie.

  • Fatfingr Lou
    December 20, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    The poor Teller was equally baffled by the disguise and the demand scrawled in crayon

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