• This Kid’s GoFundMe For Speeding Ticket Is The Greatest GoFundMe That Has Ever Been Created

    This Kid’s GoFundMe For Speeding Ticket Is The Greatest GoFundMe That Has Ever Been Created

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    So many people have sent us this viral GoFundMe from a kid in Ohio who doesn’t wanna pay for his own speeding ticket:

    Plot twist – I fucking LOVE it!! Ya know why this kid deserves the money? Because he entertained me. He provided a valuable service, and when you do that in America you get paid. I’m not giving him shit either because I’m a freeloader. I’m the guy who DVRs everything because I don’t wanna watch commercials because TV is free for me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the 60 seconds of entertainment this kid provided, but I can get that for free so why should I pay? I’ll let other people do that, and they have as he’s raised over $2,000. Good for him. Murica.

    Anyone who read this and doesn’t get this kid’s schtick is the real moron. Hey people – it’s a friggin joke. Obviously he doesn’t expect you to sympathize with him because he got a ticket. That’s why he was so over the top about what an entitled millenial dooshnozzle he was. Notice he’s not whining about his situation like 99% of the people who abuse GFM do. That’s why he used satire and hilariously mentioned that he puts bald eagle piss and freedom into his gas tank. Get it? Because he didn’t REALLY do that.

    Nevertheless, so many people are not understanding this:

    Oh for fuck’s sake. The lack of common sense or basic awareness in some people never ceases to amaze me. At least Grandma gets it:

    Hey geniuses, he’s not talking about how he REALLY needs money to cover the rent this month. He’s not feeding us some bullshit sob story about losing his job and the kids needing diapers. If anything he’s raising awareness about what a joke GoFundMe has become. Notice he also mentions in the first sentence that he was on his way to work. Unfortunately he had to explain that to the legion of nudniks in his update:

    Boom – suck on that. Support the troops!!

    Anyway, Turtleboy is generally anti-GFM, but if we’re gonna sue Facebook it’s gonna cost a shitload of money. Which begs the question, should we start a GoFundMe to sue Facebook?



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    1. North Country Turtle Rider

      Fuck gofundme. Paypal friends/family. Just be accountable, unlike a certain mom’s group moderator, and I think a lot of people would be on board. I would.

    2. Sterling Turtle Rider

      -total nerd time here- It’s kinda like using the ring to defeat Sauron, isn’t it? Using GFM to take down Facebook… the tool of the SJW’s to take them down a notch?
      The irony is real.

    3. Jack Mehoff

      You won’t win suing assbook. Good luck trying. It will cost you $20K just to file the suit. They will bleed you dry.

      Good for this kid! Owned up to what he did. Most of what’s on GFM is probably fake and money raised used for other purposes than what’s stated. Let’s hope he’s honest and does donate to our bravery heroes.

    4. My name is what

      Yessss… this GFM is everything. Reminds me of the Diesel assholes if they had any sense of humor at all.

    5. Alexey

      LOL the latest on Viral facebook posts!

      Turtleboy’s cheesed about this one — do you know how many posts making fun of the mentally disabled to earn $2,000?

      HOW’S THE FACEBOOK LAWSUIT GOING TURTLEBOY? I bet Zuckerberg is shaking in his boots.

      1. Fiesty Turtle Lady

        Thanks for reading and offering that click, son. Now do something productive and go jump off a building into a bonfire.

        1. Alex sucks big D

          This fucking guy Alex just won’t quit. It would be funny if it weren’t so damn pathetic.

          1. mystressovmayhem

            I still he’s getting the “D” from this Dan douche nozzle. Or he is Dan. He’s like the episode on Family guy with Stewie. “Mum! Mum! mommy! mum’ ma ma! Mum!” Lois: “Whaaaaaaaaat?” Stewie: “Hi..”

    6. Tortoise Person

      I only read the blogs here, but am willing to support the lawsuit against facebook just because I don’t like how they treat Turtleboy Sports. Best of luck.

    7. […] GoFundMe-pissers-on’ers Turtleboy Sports called the campaign “the greatest GoFundMe that has ever been created” — I wouldn’t go that far […]

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