All-Star Criminals

Tittoo Bandit Steals Purse On Camera, Gets Caught And Identified As A Backpage Hoe After Restaurant Posts Security Footage On Facebook

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Tittoo Bandit Steals Purse On Camera, Gets Caught And Identified As A Backpage Hoe After Restaurant Posts Security Footage On Facebook
Let me introduce you to the world’s dumbest criminal, Elizabeth Santos:

Look at this woman with her less than stellar cleavage and tittoo. What’s even better is her monroe piercing, how unique. Anyone with a monroe piercing definitely swallows more than just her dinner. Here she is in action, being a purse thief at La Carreta Londonderry restaurant in New Hampshire.

 

Do you see that sneaky hoe? She looks like she has done this more than once. The trotting she does at the end just kills me.

 

 

What is wrong with her? I’m almost positive she’s a junkie. Only someone who is methed up or on crack could confuse the seasons. She’s wearing a savers dress with a windbreaker jacket and bejeweled flipflops from Walmart. One minute she’s warm, and the next minute she’s as cold as a hooker’s heart when the John gets emotionally attached and lights some candles before she gives him a gummy.

 

 

I don’t want to blame the victim here, but why would you ever put your purse like that on a chair? Especially in a crowded restaurant? I’m so paranoid with my purse that when I grocery shop, I tie it up 17 times with that children’s seatbelt that’s always broken when you really need it.

 

 

Clean your mirror. I can’t tell if that’s dust or an optical illusion created by your broken dreams. I still can’t believe a woman would get a tittoo that large. What is her throught process? Does she imagine that a man is ready with his yogurt slinger in his hand saying, “I got a boner for you… Look at that perfect shading on your tittoo!” I can’t wait to see her reaction when she’s old as dust and that tittoo just looks like a big green blob of desperation.

 

 

The notorious bathroom selfie. Where is she taking this? Sweaty Betty’s?

 

The restaurant had made a post looking for the thief, and within 20 minutes she was identified by an internet superhero:

 

 

Oh, you don’t say? She’s on backpage? I was told she goes by the name Cherry. Of course this human semen storage facility would be hoeing out on the internet using the name of the worst flavor ever known to mankind, well, besides yellow startburst; YUCK! I tried searching for her, but every page that comes up has been deleted.

This incident is not her first rodeo:

 

Those eyes have absolutely no soul left in them. I guess when you spend your afternoons giving your body up to desperate men for a half eaten sandwich, and a hit off of a crack pipe, you don’t have anything to live for.

The comment section was having so much fun identifying her, that they found all of her profiles:

 

 

They even found her boyfriend who is a real winner:

 

 

My goodness there is nothing worse than taking a picture with your tongues out. You don’t do this past the age of 21, and if you do, you deserve to be throat punched. It’s unacceptable, that’s a scientific fact.

 

 

He’s a man with a tongue ring. You know what they say about a man with a tongue ring? He likes sweaty taint.

 

 

Oh look, they are engaged. How sweet. So when she comes home from working her body on backpage, does he kiss her? I mean, if he does, wouldn’t he be tasting another man? Better hope he hasn’t had asparagus for dinner. He would have digested it, and then passed it on to your girlfriend. Then she comes home and kisses him, and he has basically had asparagus leftovers times two. I can’t magine that the end result would be nice on the palate.

You know what else is the best gift? Giving your kids a mother who is responsible and loves them. Not a woman who steals purses from innocent women at a restaurant. Not a mother who sells her body for money that probably isn’t enough to pay the bills. Hence, why she has started to steal.

 

 

What about stealing……..Is stealing adulting? This guy has it all figured out.

I’m glad that Elizabeth Santos was identified. I hope that someone will call child services and file a complaint.  It’s obvious she is into the hooker life, no way to spin that.

The moral of the story here is don’t steal, and if you ever do, don’t be as dumb as this woman and steal from a place that has security camera’s. I know some people are going to play the she “din do nuffin* card. They may even attempt to get us to sympathize with her being a junkie and not being able to make the right choices when they are high. That doesn’t make sense by the way. The next time you hear a person say that, just respond with, “They are fucking high, which means they don’t make the best choices when they are sober.”

 

I have NO issue public shaming people who commits crimes like this on an innocent person. Let’s all hope she gets locked up. I normally wouldn’t wish that on a mother who has kids, but this disgusting slam pig who steals from strangers deserves it.

 

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14 Comment(s)
  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    June 24, 2017 at 5:22 pm

    If you meet a woman with her tongue pierced, she will probably suck your dick.

    If you meet a man with his tongue pierced, he will probably suck your dick.

    • Chris Rock
      June 26, 2017 at 9:17 pm

      Thanks for recycling my material

  • Inspector Gadget
    June 24, 2017 at 10:50 am

    I like her big jiggly tits

  • June 23, 2017 at 6:24 pm

    Hey you fucking low life faggot john duchesne is her ex first off second off hes not a fucking shit bag and had nothing to do with this shit he left her over a month ago get your fucking story straight or stop running your fucking cum trap

    • what?
      June 23, 2017 at 11:53 pm

      So…I guess the engagement’s off?

      • June 24, 2017 at 1:56 am

        Yeah, that and he has his profile picture of them together, and many other pictures of her on his profile.

  • Seamen Trebuchet
    June 23, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    Not to nitpick, but I think that was technically a canter, and not a trot, in the video.

  • Big Raymond
    June 23, 2017 at 9:43 am

    Guessing no way she uses meth or crack regularly if at all, or she’d be skinny as a toothpick.

    Agreed, she’s a user and a greedy pig, her addiction could be to marijuana cheese-cake by the looks of things.

    When you see this thief coming, hang a purse filled with manure out for her. Can’t take credit, somebody did it on youtube, funny as hell, search bait-bike on youtube, good laughs.

    • June 23, 2017 at 9:49 am

      Marijuana Cheesecake? What a dream come true!

  • Arthur L'Heureux jr
    June 23, 2017 at 7:46 am

    The tit hoping tatoo , or is it the booby bouncing tattoo?
    What the fuck is this ? In the snatch and run video her tattoo is on her left side, in the selfies her tat is on the left. she must have put her tits on backwards that day so she wouldn’t get caught ? maybe it’s my PC you know the popups are doing this.

    • Arthur L'Heureux jr
      June 23, 2017 at 7:49 am

      The tit hoping tatoo , or is it the booby bouncing tattoo?
      What the fuck is this ? In the snatch and run video her tattoo is on her left side, in the selfies her tat is on the Right. she must have put her tits on backwards that day so she wouldn’t get caught ? maybe it’s my PC you know the popups are doing this.

      • ??
        June 23, 2017 at 7:55 am

        Tatoo dont mean shit HANG HER.

      • No name
        June 23, 2017 at 2:33 pm

        Fb its a mirrored image

    • Savage Squaw Bitch
      June 23, 2017 at 12:39 pm

      The selfie mode on phones takes mirror images, which makes it look like her tattoo is on the opposite side.

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