Hoodrat Heroes

Tucrack Shakur Drops Product From His Shorts While Pummeling Plumber’s Crack Pablo, New Bedford Nancy Just Keeps On Pumping Gas


The best part about blogging for Turtleboy is waking up every day and having no idea what fuckery we’ll be blogging about today. What debauchery did we get tagged in? What queefer madness is in the inbox? Sometimes I think I’ve seen it all, and then I witness on the New Bedford Guide (a well respected media outlet in the South Coast) a crack donkey getting pummeled for 15 seconds straight at a gas station by some chud whose drugs fall out of his pantaloons during the beating. My favorite part is the woman in the background trying to fill her car up with gas who doesn’t seem the least bit surprised or fazed about what she’s witnessing.


Home boy wore his fightin’ Jordans, so you knew he meant bidness. And that video had more crack in it than the New Bedford Housing Authority.

Question – was that great offense, or great defense? Tucrack Shakur was swinging like a professional boxer, but he didn’t get any solid hits in.

Good form, but he left himself wide open for a counter. Tucrack was lucky Plumber’s Crack Pablo was probably high out of his mind off the stash he stole from him. You can tell this wasn’t the first time he’s had to curl up like a morbidly obese fetus that doesn’t wanna come out of the love canal.

Just look at the way he protects his head and fupa simultaneously. The man knows that when your line of work is ripping off drug dealers in New Bedford you best be able to sustain a beating or two.

Just to be on the safe side he remained in the prenatal position for a full minute after Tucrack gloriously walked away in triumph.

Another productive day for the fine people of New Bedford.

I still can’t get over girlfriend in the background who clearly can see this all going on and is asking herself, “Do I wanna splurge on Plus this time, or stick with Regular?”

There have been three kinds of reactions to this post on the New Bedford Guide’s Facebook page. You’ve got the normal, fun, interesting people who enjoy a good bum fight, and understand that a media outlet broadcasting something like this can help police identify and arrest Tucrack.

Then you’ve got the proverbial turds in the Sangria who virtue signal about how the NBG should be “ashamed” for broadcasting viral local news.

These are the same people who complain that calling Baltimore a rat infested shithole is racist. They want to deny the reality of urban decay from their homes in Westport and Acushnet. How dare a New Bedford news outlet broadcast the shocking reality of crime and drug use in New Bedford! These people love missionary position and hate anything resembling fun.

Then there were my favorite types of New Bedford folk – the lowered expectation mother fuckers.

The ol’ “Hey, at least no one got shot! We’re making progress here.”

Baby steps New Bedford. Baby steps.


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34 Comment(s)
  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    July 31, 2019 at 8:10 pm

    That chick dropped the ball. Those 2 were within distance of a good spraying from the gas nozzle. I would’ve aimed, sprayed, and lit my lighter in the gas stream

    Later homeboys

    • She Did The Right Thinh
      August 1, 2019 at 9:44 am

      And you would have blown yourself up dumbfuck.
      She did the right thing and let darwin win.

  • juror seven esq.
    July 31, 2019 at 5:16 pm

    I’m going to hit you with so many rights, you’ll be begging for a left!

  • Metro West Guy
    PBR Streetgang
    July 31, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    The Federal Goverment should seriously consider an operation where it gives everybody in NB and FR one month to vacate before the military napalms every square inch of both cities.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      July 31, 2019 at 8:07 pm

      That would actually work because the few responsible people left in there would heed the warning; the useless ghetto slobs would shrug their shoulders and still sleep in to 3 PM and go nowhere

  • Judge dread
    July 31, 2019 at 3:12 pm

    These are whonthe Democrats want to give free health care, free college, free room and board, you name it. This is everything why the democrat debate is so full of shit. Imagine both of these scum dogs at umass? They will fit in just fine otherwise your racist /sarc

    • Drudge dread
      July 31, 2019 at 3:18 pm

      It looks like a meth pipe but I could be a crack pipe. Or a load of drugs.

  • hartf811
    July 31, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    This is my dream.
    Wall them off, send in a supply of Diego’s finest, government bigPharma pure. Then lock the gate. “How do you get rats off an island. My grandmother told me. We buried a oil drum in the ground with a hinge. You wire the coconuts to the hinge and after a month one by one they are all trapped. So what did we do with the drum, burn it , set it adrift? No ,we released the rats into the coconut trees. Because now they didn’t eat coconuts They eat rat.”

    • Hoodratapocalypse
      August 1, 2019 at 4:02 pm

      That story just made my life! I fucking love that! I watched the documentary called “ratpocalypse” and she’s right they will eat eachother when there is no other food but I didn’t know they stayed cannibal once they flipped to that mode. Amazing. Best Grandma ever!

  • Mom’s Basement
    July 31, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    That man is passionate about his work. I don’t even get the mail in this weather.

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    July 31, 2019 at 1:13 pm

    Casual Observations

    * Neither gentleman will be defending thesis any time soon
    * Both are dead within a year.

    • Please let them die....please
      July 31, 2019 at 6:27 pm

      One can only dream…..only dream my friend

  • Art R.
    July 31, 2019 at 12:53 pm

    Pavement apes…

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    July 31, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    Limerick of the day…….

    When a drug deal goes wrong you can tell
    That they’re ready to sound the first bell,
    But who owns the rights?
    Are these HBO fights?
    Hell no, it’s the forecourt of Shell.

    Dick Scratcher, aged 12 (rounds of 3 minutes)

    • Lipstickhippie
      Lipstick Hippie
      July 31, 2019 at 2:03 pm

      I LOVE YOU DICK!!!
      (And I’m talking about the person, not the organ. This time, anyway.)

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        July 31, 2019 at 2:11 pm

        It’s mutual, LH.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      July 31, 2019 at 3:22 pm

      Keep on Keepin on Dick

      Love em!

      • dowen0895
        Dick Scratcher
        July 31, 2019 at 7:07 pm

        4 down-votes for this one Brother Trips.
        Either my standards are slipping of I’ve not sought out enough of the nay-sayers and given them the requisite dry slaps right across their canisters.


  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    July 31, 2019 at 11:44 am

    I can only imagine what the racist White said to this person of color to provoke him. If the White can be identified, he needs to be held accountable for his inflammatory words.

    • SameShit DifferentDay
      August 5, 2019 at 2:00 am

      The guy getting beat looks just as dark if not darker than the guy with his shirt off. This some stupid race baiting bullshit. Who said it was about race, chance are it was about money. Hope you get held accountable for the hate you fuckin spread. Smfh. Your just as much part of the problem that you think your “helping”. But all I read was ignorant bullshit from your comment, you need to get a clue. How bout trying to unite with other races, instead of trying to cause fights between them.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    July 31, 2019 at 11:29 am

    Rope-A-Dope like you read about. Guy punched himself out.

    • Christopher Lettiere
      July 31, 2019 at 11:39 am

      I bet homeboy broke his left wrist w/that last hook and that’s why he walked away.

  • Karma Bus
    Ratchetsaurous Rex
    July 31, 2019 at 11:27 am

    So who got the drugs then? Tucrack or Plummer? Cause Tucrack walked away, so if Plummer got that off the ground….. I’d say he won! Haha. That’s “New Bee” for ya.

    • murdochpatsymcreynolds
      July 31, 2019 at 11:52 am

      New Beige more better then Fall Reev. I smelta the felt at Big Dan’s.

      • Fantesticles
        July 31, 2019 at 4:42 pm

        When comparing shit to crap, one might not want to forget that they are in fact, the same, essentially. #NukeItAllKim

        • murdochpatsymcreynolds
          July 31, 2019 at 6:37 pm

          Você gosta de testículos! HA-ha-ha! Porco nojento.

    • Priorities?
      August 1, 2019 at 3:53 pm

      Why don’t you drive down there and check the pavement for that loose bag. I’m sure it’s still laying there….on the ground…at a gas station…in new bedford! Or you could just go sit in the burger king parking lot on belmont st. and buy yourself some since you care.

  • Sick of these Ratchet Fucks
    July 31, 2019 at 11:20 am

    3 days of the heatwave brings the street apes out into the street. A very rare sighting! Usually these Bushmen lay low all day then emerge as the sun goes down. Two take a ways, did Tucrack realize he dropped his goods? Or did Mr Fupa cover up score them? And do you realize that us working folk are paying these two savages to fight? They live off of us…. Tucrack will be dead inside of a year, no loss.

  • Ray Patriarca
    Ritchie Neal's gin-blossoms
    July 31, 2019 at 11:13 am

    Just savages being savages !
    It’s like watching wild animals on the Serengeti Plain.
    This is the direct result of liberal/progressive Democrat control for the last 50 years.
    Everything liberals touch turns to shit.
    Just as the hapless inhabitants of Baltimore.

  • Flatch Yulence
    July 31, 2019 at 11:13 am

    Plumber’s Crack Pablo kept taking those hits like a champ. Tucrack got so tired of punching, Pablo probably could’ve launched a successful counter attack. New Bedford Nancy played it wise to act as if nothing was happening; she is the real star of this fight.

  • Cod Father
    July 31, 2019 at 11:09 am

    You can take a fishing boat straight from Portugee Africa right into New Bedford. Fact. No passport required.

  • OldFairhavenResident
    July 31, 2019 at 11:00 am

    ThAts the main reason I used to avoid that gas station when I lived in the area. There is still a WORKING payphone in that parking lot which is used by junkies when they run out of Obama minutes. They never fail to ask for change or cigarettes either!

  • I sm Liz. I Approve This Message
    July 31, 2019 at 10:58 am

    Filthy filthy naggers.
    Dem utopia soon with so much third world shit backing up the pipes we wont be able to flush them out. Say bye bye to your country whitey.

    • Captain Trips
      Shopping for Afro Wigs
      July 31, 2019 at 3:25 pm

      If youze can’ts beat ums, join umz Ize always say!

      (Spoken as I apply brown shoe polish to my face)

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