All-Star Criminals

Turns Out The “Woman” Who Says She Was Punched In The Face By Drag Racing Maine Maggot Has Multiple Arrests For Robbery, Looks Like A Dude, And Owns Multiple Flat Brimmed Chicago Bulls Hats

Turns Out The “Woman” Who Says She Was Punched In The Face By Drag Racing Maine Maggot Has Multiple Arrests For Robbery, Looks Like A Dude, And Owns Multiple Flat Brimmed Chicago Bulls Hats

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The other day we published this blog about a woman who claims she was punched in the face by some maggot from Maine after she got in the way of his drag racing:

We blogged about it because, quite frankly it was a slow news day and we wanted to do something that wasn’t about our Facebook page being suspended.

But we did a little more research in the coming days about the woman who claimed this happened to her, and here’s what we found out:

Police say four people were arrested on robbery charges in Lebanon Friday. Maine State Police say they responded for a report of a robbery at the Evergreen Trailer Park around 2:30 p.m. Police say two men from New Hampshire went to the residence and were robbed by 26-year-old Courtney Rouselle, of Lebanon, 21-year-old Samantha Goodwin, of Lebanon, 27-year-old Jose Gomez, of Boston, MA, and 23-year-old Tasha Loaizo, of Somersworth, NH. There was also a threat that a firearm was involved, but police say it was just a threat. All four suspects were charged with robbery. They were taken to the York County Jail where bail was set to $2,500 per person.

Yup, just a few months back Courtney was robbing people at trailer parks and threatening them with imaginary guns. I’m sure she we’re getting the whole story though.

Check out the mugshots:

You’ll never guess which one “Courtney is.”

No, it’s not Smiles Sanchez or Plumpy Mcpoyle. It’s this one right here:


Then there’s exhibit B:

Ya know you’re an extra special breed of ratchet when you own the headware of champions in more than one color. Guilty.

Like I said, we don’t know the whole story. But even if Courtney did interrupt the drag race, and this Maine maggot really did get out of his car and confront her, you can’t even be mad at him for hitting a girl. Who in their right mind would ever think they were punching a girl when they saw this face?

No one.

Not Courtney’s first robbery either….

Police arrested four people following an alleged robbery at an apartment on Green Street Tuesday night. Police said Dusty Blackey, of 62 Green St., called them around 9:30 p.m. reporting he was robbed of $120 cash and two DVDs in a hallway outside his apartment. Blackey also identified four people as the robbers and said they fled in a white Volkswagen, police said. Officers later arrived at the home of one of the suspects, Anna Parkhurst, and discovered the four suspects there, along with the two DVDs allegedly taken and the white Volkswagen outside. Police arrested all four. Parkhurst, 17, of 16 First St. and Courtney Rouselle, 21, of 57 Buffumsville Road are each charged with robbery. Timothy Ortiz, 18, of 7 Colby St. in Gonic, and Macy Tidwell, 20, also of 57 Buffumsville Road, are each charged with conspiracy to commit robbery.

This was from 2011, before Courtney decided to go all GI Jane.

Oh, and she’s looking to buy a gun now too:

Her two convictions for robbery should definitely help her get a LTC. Especially the one where she claimed she had a gun. Next time she finds three willing goobers who wanna take someone’s DVD’s she can actually have a real gun to get the job done.

Anyway, safe to say the whole thing was probably a lie now. Knowing her past she probably tried to rob the guy, she challenged him to a fight, he punched “her” thinking Courtney’s real name was Cornelius, and then he ran off into Maine where he ate coondogs and brushed his teeth with a fig stick.

16 Comment(s)
  • Agnes N.
    December 9, 2017 at 3:31 pm

    Deuteronomy 22:5 – “A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.”

    A rightly-ordered society would send her, along with all other sexual deviants, to a Bible-centered mental health facility where they would be given corrective therapy in an attempt to cure them of their wickedness.

    • hi
      December 23, 2017 at 6:08 am

      you’re insane.

  • December 7, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    I didn’t friggin lie! Neither did knee-ko!!!

  • whatevuh
    December 7, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Can we do a GoFundMe for a Mental Health intervention, he/she’s obviously all fucked up in the head. When you don’t know what gender you are, I suggest, stick your hand down your pants, feel a penis? You’re a guy. Feel a vagina? You’re a girl. There are no other choices, you CANNOT change your DNA, mental midgets. Glad I could help; you mentally damaged, fucked up twats

  • Punch Bug
    December 7, 2017 at 5:06 pm

    I was going to comment on the first story about this. The New Hampshire Maine border towns are where UMass Amhearst bull dykes go to get fashion ideas. The chics all dress and act like dudes. There is absolutely nothing to do up there but smoke pot, drag race or go muddin and the cops don’t really care because they grew up doing the same thing and they are all related anyways.

  • Savage Squaw Bitch
    December 7, 2017 at 4:56 pm

    If you’re gonna go the dyke route, why date a butch? I thought being a lezbo meant liking the female form, not ding-dong ditch eating a hideous biological anomaly of it.

  • ElJefe72
    December 7, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    Can we all just agree that everyone involved involved in the drag racing – facing punching incident are all ratchets of varying degrees?

    • ElJefe72
      December 7, 2017 at 3:49 pm

      *face punching

  • BlackandWhite
    December 7, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    must be a cousin of Pat and Frances.

  • TJB
    December 7, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    She should move to Massachusetts. She would fit right in with the rest of the spinach eaters.

  • AgingCynic
    December 7, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    So Jose Gomez goes to Rochester, NH expecting to see The Old Man of the Mountains, and goes off course by a few miles. Dude, should have stopped in Lawrence.

  • Leftist Crablice
    December 7, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    “Anybody have any suggestions on what I should buy?”

    How about a job, Moby Dickless?

    Can’t we send these assholes to France and lock the gates behind them?

    • Talisman
      December 8, 2017 at 1:57 pm

      Xer best bet is to purchase the one that can punch thru her skull and drag what little brain there is with it. A one way ticket to France is a good idea as long as there’s a guillotine at the end.

  • Mayor Lynch
    December 7, 2017 at 1:15 pm

    That dude is kinda hot. Can I get some digits? I mean phone number first… digital penetration second… heh heh heh.

  • Victim #23578
    December 7, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    Many people are still waiting on you to do story on Mark Anthony Del Negro, asshole lying arrogant scam artist. That would of been a better story than this one.

    • MAssholythanthou
      December 8, 2017 at 10:11 am

      There is no good side to this one. Squiggly Wiggler may be having gender and armedrobbery issues, but smackie boy Barrett Dunham is still no prize. In 2009 he got rear ended. Lady with her kid, momma gets tossed from the vehicle. Seems like it was others fault. But another accident similar happens in 2012, this time the Smackie Dunham goes bitch fit and gets dragged in after being rear ended again. Something going on, getting nailed twice like that, road rage possibly? Who knows. BUT in 2014 in a span of 6 days, he goes off once and gets operating reckless, then operating reckless with, you got it, another fucking bitch fit. Disorderly, resisting, mischief etc etc. So is TBS giving this douche a free pass for striking another during what is obviously an anger management issue, all because the girl turned out to be a girl with a guy issue? lol. This was a double ratchet baby!

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