All-Star Criminals

Turtle Sound-Off! Who’s The Douche? Stalker Boyfriend Arrested For 2X “Alleged” Assault OR Ex-Con Girlfriend Who Murdered Her Previous Beau In A DUI Hit & Run “Accident?”

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Okay Turtle riders, check out this headline from

If you’re like me you saw this caption and immediately thought “wow, what a piece of shit”, right?

This guy David Florence was arrested twice in less than two weeks for assaulting his girlfriend in New Hampshire.

Anyone scrolling through the interwebs is going to see that title, read the article description and automatically assume this dude went Mike Tyson on a chick. This is what makes writing for Turtleboy so goddamn satisfying because while the MSM skims over the facts, we dive right in and give you honest information.

I’m not saying Whisker McButt-Chin DIDN’T assault his girlfriend. What I WILL say is that slapping the terms “stalker” and “domestic violence” onto this guys picture when all of his charges were ALLEGED is pretty bogus. Why? Because allegations aren’t legitimate, concrete proof that he’s either of those things and stupid people are really good at reading a headline without reading the article. Then they jump on the pitchfork bandwagon because they think they know the FACKS! (That’s how “facts” are pronounced in ratchet speak, in case you’re new here.)

The Concord Police Department website doesn’t provide police logs and there isn’t a single mention of him or his arrest(s) on their official FB page. In fact, the only “police log” for Concord is provided by the previously mentioned Patch website (unless you request and pay for an official record.)

Here’s the quick breakdown:

Couple has a fight and Dave gets arrested and served a restraining order. The order was “violated” when the couple arranged (VIA FB messages) for him to retrieve his belongings from the apartment. Then the couple has fight #2, he smashes her makeup, she calls the cops again and now he’s a “stalker” who beats his girlfriend. That escalated quickly.

It shouldn’t be rocket science that a restraining order should only be filed when someone feels legitimately threatened. If she were scared or felt threatened enough for a R.O. why would she communicate with him at all? Why not have him escorted by police to come get his crap? Why didn’t she call the cops right when he got there? She got a restraining order yet agreed to have him at her place and even took a shower while he was there. It’s like she’s never seen the movie Psycho.

So she pushed him, followed him down the stairs to lock the door and then he allegedly spit in her face. If she admitted to pushing him, doesn’t that make her guilty of assault as well? She showed the police a time stamped photo of David sitting in a chair in her living room earlier in the evening along with texts that called her “unbelievable” and said “what you did to me was crazy.” Why allow someone to hang out on your recliner if you’re genuinely wary of their presence?

She’s clearly not that afraid if she’s butthurt over Dave posting pictures of smokeshow chicks on Facebook and commenting on them a few days ago:

I want to re-iterate that EVERY SINGLE OFFENSE in both arrests have the word “allegedly” tacked onto them so let’s go a step further.

Who is David’s girlfriend?

Her name is Tracy Burroughs.

The same Tracy Burroughs who was sent to prison after she got drunk and mowed over her previous boyfriend while she was shitfaced in 2012.

Funny how her name and the fact that she got blitzed and killed someone in a DUI hit and run wasn’t taken into consideration or mentioned whatsoever. That’s because 9 times out of 10 the MSM doesn’t actually give you enough information to make an educated decision, but we will.

Tracy plowed over her ex-boyfriend/friend/house-mate/boss at 2 a.m. while he was riding his bicycle home from Tony Clamatos, the restaurant he owned/where she worked. This is the last FB status Keon posted that night:

Tracy didn’t even tap the brakes when she hit him and when the police found him Keon was already dead. When they went to his address to notify a family member they noticed Tracy’s vehicle was damaged and the broken pieces matched the ones left at the scene. Then she smiled for her mug shot in her drunken stupor and essentially got away with murder.

Tracy only served 2 1/2 years for getting plastered and killing someone. Why? Because she found Jesus, naturally.

Then she read a letter as she sobbed in the court room and begged everyone to understand it was an accident. A tumultuous relationship and an argument beforehand may have been coincidence and running him over may have been unintentional but getting in a car at 2 a.m. when you’re cocked isn’t an accident. There’s no room for “oops” if you get blackout drunk, get in a vehicle and kill someone. It’s not like she shrunk his favorite sweater in the dryer. She killed him. Period. The fact that was paroled in 2016 after less than 3 years of “jail time” is a fucking joke and the courts should be ashamed.

So are we supposed to believe that this woman is telling the truth about her (now)boyfriend assaulting her? If all of his crimes are based only on her allegations then no. Sorry. I don’t place value on her character or morals. If she doesn’t have to serve real time for killing someone in an alleged “accident” then David shouldn’t earn a Google trophy for “alleged” domestic violence without a shred of tangible evidence.

Cue the SJW’s who think I’m sympathizing with a woman beating monster and let’s look at it from another angle. If the roles were completely reversed with the exact same scenarios, what would happen? If Dave got sauced and ran over his girlfriend at 2 a.m. do you think he would have only served 2 1/2 years? If Dave called the police not once, but twice claiming Tracy assaulted him with zero evidence do you think she would have been arrested and charged? Absolutely not. People who sell weed have gotten longer sentences than Tracy served. She’s like the Martha Stewart of New Hampshire.

I know in a perfect universe everyone pisses sunshine and rainbows and they would never base their decisions on things like age, race or gender. If we were all treated equally by each other and the law then Tracy wouldn’t be scot-free and David wouldn’t be labeled as an Ike Turner, female stalking criminal for the rest of his life.

Eric gets it:

So what do Turtleriders think? Who do you is realistically more believable? Is David really a woman-beating creeper or is Tracy a crazy broad who lies on the record? Maybe they’re both terrible.




14 Comment(s)
  • DickMaster'sSon
    September 20, 2017 at 2:04 pm

    She’s a murderer there’s not a doubt in my mind. Keon gave me a job when I was hard up in college. He helped me out when finding work was tough. This was a while before he met her. The article linked fails to mention that they had a fight earlier that night, I heard thins from some people that I knew that still worked there. I feel horrible that I heard about this after the fact, I feel even worse for Steve, his brother and Tony C’s bar manager. Guess I’m just venting, but its nice to see someone is still sticking the spurs to her. Keep it up turtleboy, let her know that some of us know what she did and some of us will never forget.

  • Boston Wanker
    September 6, 2017 at 1:49 am

    Reminder to Guys: Don’t Put Your Dick in Crazy!

    • Stunt Penis
      September 6, 2017 at 8:47 am

      …unless you have a fully-implemented escape plan in place, which includes a bug-out bag, burner phone, and several false identities.

  • Sonny's Mom
    September 5, 2017 at 9:33 am

    You left out something really important.

    ANY violation of a restraining order is ITSELF a criminal act. Yep, even if the order is based on falsehoods or exaggerations. Translation: “she invited me over to pick up my stuff” is a criminal act if a restraining order is in force.

    I’m not saying abuse doesn’t happen. But family courts take advantage of men who think they can handle false charges on their own. Guess what? “Battery” can be as little as a touch, a push, a shove. Talk to a defense attorney, WORK OUT A PAYMENT PLAN, and do exactly what your lawyer tells you.

  • They call me Ponch
    September 5, 2017 at 4:53 am

    The cat photobomb says it all.


  • Sonny's Mom
    September 4, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    Heads up, people! Google the following words…

    psychology today, stanton samenow

    … and read Dr Samenow’s blog anout how criminals think… and why most of them have absolutely no intention to “reform” their lives.

    • Sonny's Mom
      September 4, 2017 at 7:10 pm


      The blog is called “Inside the Criminal Mind”

      • Irish infidel
        September 4, 2017 at 11:50 pm

        I still would do her

        • Stunt Penis
          September 5, 2017 at 9:18 am

          Considering she’s 44 years old (extrapolated from the article about her sentencing) she’s not horrible looking. When I first saw the picture I thought she was in her early 30’s and looked like she was in her mid 40’s from all her substance abuse.

          Still, she was likely a pretty hot tamale in her early-to-mid 20s… or at least until she popped out a kid.

          • September 5, 2017 at 9:38 am

            2 kids!

  • Publius
    September 4, 2017 at 6:45 pm

    Unfortunately many many domestic violence allegations are lies.

  • Stunt Penis
    September 4, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    Tracy had the potential to be a pretty decent looking woman, in her day. Too bad the boozing and hard life left her looking like a bust-out. The aging process has not been kind to her.

  • The Rant Queen
    September 4, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    I dont think the ppl who chose Tracy in that poll understood the question. I would hate to think Turtleriders are stupid…but then again, I do think humanity in general is a stupid species. Glad Im not human.

    • TortugaNiño
      September 4, 2017 at 10:02 pm

      The question asked in the article would have received a vote for the guy being more believable, however the poll question was “who’s the douche?” , to which i have to say her. The third choice was extremely tempting as well.

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