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Final 4 voting is completed, and we now know which two ratchets will square too to decide who is this year’s Trasley Loslopiho award winner….
As expected, the Bibaud-Genduso matchup was a photo finish. Alli Bibaud advances to face legendary ratchet Didi Delgado, who took down our personal favorites – the Fall River Dirty Dick Trap Queens. It is important to point out that this was by far Didi’s closest margin of victory. She previously garnered 93% (Milky Mike Gaffney), 92% (Dianne “Pinto Crazy-ho” Williamson), 79% (Slavemaster Steve), and 85% (Moby Trick). So maybe, just maybe, she’ll be vulnerable in the championship.
So turtle riders, we must ask the question – mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most ratchet of them all?
You know the deal by now. Vote for who should be this year’s champion. Winners will be announced on Sunday night’s Turtleboy Live show, which will take place on Clarence Woods Emerson’s Facebook page. So make sure you’re following our personal account. Special guests this week will be Gupta Patel and a special guest TBA.
- Has the “disease”
- Got gigs as a toll booth worker where she filmed herself repeatedly, all fucked up taking people’s money
- Frequently uses phrases like “money, cash, hoes”
- Records herself driving around all fucked up
- Got arrested for driving around all jammed with a bunch of heroin on her on I-190
- Asked arresting trooper if he knew how many guys she had to blow to get that heroin (still undetermined)
- Offered sexual favors in return for leniency
- Mentioned her father during arrest, who is a judge in Dudley
- Set off a chain of events that led to the resignation of four of the highest ranking members of the Massachusetts State Police, as well as an investigation by the Attorney General’s Office
- Forces cult of white women from all over the country to pay her reparations whenever she demands it
- Doesn’t report any of this income to the IRS but still seems to never have money for rent (which is racist) and still gladly collects food stamps and other handouts from Uncle Sam
- Takes elaborate vacations all around the world paid for by dumb white women who pay her reparations
- Forces wypipo to write #DoneForDidi after donating to her so she can keep track of which wypipo have paid up
- Raised $12,000 for a car, car seat, and $4K worth of car insurance that was delinquent
- Often posts about who she is offering up some lady bits by saying things such as “everyone knows my pussy is gold”
- Dresses like 120 pound woman, which is what she weighs on the moon
- Said she would lead a Nat Turner-esque rebellion on any teacher who attempts to teach her daughter about the Pilgrims
- Held Facebook Live show announcing identity of her child’s sperm donor
- Sold tickets to show with strict “no refund” policy even though it was just her driving around in a car talking into her phone
You have 48 hours to vote.