Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Elite 8: Trap Queen Region – Vote For Which Ratchet Should Advance To The Final 4
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This morning we woke up and looked like Heather Philip had advanced to the Final 4 of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness. But apparently there was a late push in the Chudstuffer Region of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness, and in another close matchup the Uxbridge Gypsy Church has advanced to the Final 4:
We have ONE remaining spot left in the Final Four. Here’s what the bracket looks like now:
Time to move on to the much awaited Trap Queen Region, where many think the winner will emerge out of. We’ve been waiting for this matchup for a while. The Iorio’s vs. the Guttermuppet. It’s not an easy choice, so as usual we break it down for you by giving you a case for and against each candidate, as well as a link to a relevant blog in their names.
Case for Misti and Jason Iorio:
- Profited off the death of two little girls in Orange who died in a house fire by selling bows for a non-existent charity and then turning it into a “business” to pocket the cash
- Jason is well known for his stolen valor claims
- Because Misti can’t conceive they took a mentally challenged woman, forced her to sleep with Jason, produced a baby, took the baby, told her she was the Godmother and then made the woman call them “mommy and daddy”
Case against Misti and Jason Iorio:
- Don’t use the “n” word or end sentences with “#FACTS!!”
Case for Fall River Guttetmuppet:
- Started a GoFundMe because she’s a single mom and asked the entire city of Fall River to co-sign a loan for her because her car got repo’d
- Recorded a hysterical video diary about her husband being a toddler rapist
- Her mom sold her out to Turtleboy for being a pathological liar, and when your Mom sells you out to Turtleboy, you know your ass is ratchet
- Searched for her estranged pedophile husband, with his 16 year-old girlfriend, because he allegedly got hit by a snow plow and was dead in a snowbank somewhere
- Scammed on yardsale sites by selling broken shit and blocking people when they wanted their money back
- Faked a family emergency and asked strangers on the Internet to babysit her two young kids for the weekend, for free
Case against Fall River Guttermuppet:
- Really more of a con-artist than a ratchet, but still pretty ratchet
Tough one here folks. Who’s it gonna be? You have 24 hours to decide. Vote wisely and we’ll announce the Final 4 tomorrow so we can discuss it on the Turtleboy Live show at 9:30.
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