Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Finals: Fall River Guttermuppet vs. Trashley Loslopi-ho, SSTG And Uncle TB Make Their Case For Each

Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Finals: Fall River Guttermuppet vs. Trashley Loslopi-ho, SSTG And Uncle TB Make Their Case For Each

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The voting in our second Final 4 matchup of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness is completed. And in the least shocking news ever, the Guttermuppet has advanced to the Championship game to faceoff against Ashley Losapio.

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We knew this day was coming – Guttermuppet vs. Trashley Loslapi-ho for the right to be crowned Queen Ratchet.

Here’s a quick review of how we got here:

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South Shore Turtlegirl and Uncle Turtleboy were talking about this today and we completely disagree on who should win. SSTG thinks it should go to the Guttermuppet, and Uncle Turtleboy is on Team Trashley. So we’ll give each of them a chance to make their case about why you should vote for their candidate………



Look, I don’t get emotionally invested in the ratchets I blog about. I write up a couple of stories and move the fuck on. Guttermuppet was that exception. I’ve been so angry at this girl that I’ve dug my fingernails in to my own palms and made my hand bleed. There are eight parts to her story. Eight. I did everything I could to fight for her kids. We, as Turtleriders, became so concerned over them that we lost sleep. We finally won when the kids were ripped out of her arms by DCF and placed in to foster care. I finally thought it was over. Then, I get the news that she’s pregnant again and it could be one of four people who fathered it. This saga will never end. Here’s some highlights. •

  • She started a GFM because she was a single mom. That’s it.
  • She’s a pathological liar. She went as far as to ask the entire city of Fall River to co-sign a loan for her because her car was stolen. By stolen I mean repossessed for non-payment.
  • She’s had so many scams she’s had to change her name from Brittany Merlino to Cassandra Bossworth.
  • She knowingly married a guy who went to jail for having raped a toddler.
  • She knowingly married a guy whose mother went to jail for raping a 12 year-old boy.
  • Her first child was removed from her care for suffering constant injuries; including a broken leg. Instead of fulfilling the requirements to get the kid back she allowed him to go up for adoption and had two more.
  • She took out a restraining order on her mom and husband.
  • Taped a hysterical video screaming at Turtleboy for blogging about her.
  • She went looking for her estranged, pedo, husband after his sixteen year old girlfriend said he died in a blizzard.
  • She was selling broken items on yardsale pages and then blocking people who wanted their money back.
  • She tried to give her kids away for the weekend to complete strangers on a Yard Sale site. All so she could spent the weekend banging her pedo husband who wasn’t dead in a snow bank.
  • Had pedo ex husband arrested the following Wednesday for breaching his restraining order.
  • Ends up in a shelter and has more than eight 51a’s because she was abusing her kids in front of mandated reporters.
  • DCF takes the kids. Her mom messages SSTG to say that she has custody of the them and that Guttermuppet was getting admitted to a psych hospital for treatment. That was a LIE. So, because I hate being lied to, I’m going to release the matchup you’ve all been waiting for after voting today. Desk Girl vs Guttermuppet. Starring in: “THE FORM.” Trashley is but a murmur these days. Guttermuppet is the Neverending Story of Ratchet with no sign of stopping. Plus, she’s going to drop another calf in five months. That alone should make you vote for her.



Uncle Turtleboy

The Guttermuppet is ratchet and trashy indeed. But at the end of the day she’s a run of the mill junkie trashbag. People like her are unfortunately a dime a dozen. Ashley Losapio is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I truly hate her with every ounce of my being. I know for a fact she was calling up people she trusted (mistakingly because they immediately told us) and asking for information on who Turtleboy was so she could stick her ghetto hoodrats on us. More than anything I hate what she stands for and the fact that she continues to get away with it. The Guttermuppet is here for our amusement and no one takes her seriously. Trashley has a real job, with real power, and gets to carry herself every day as some sort of legitimate citizen. She is nothing more than the Guttermuppet with a makeover and fresh underpants. Here’s the highlights:

  • Has the most oddly proportioned body we’ve ever seen. Normal looking from the hips up, but because of her gigantic calves and thunder thighs, she looks like one of those wooden Russian dolls that you fit the smaller one inside the bigger one, but with the wrong two pieces on top of each other.
  • She was born into a wealthy family, and her mother married a judge, whose surname (Losapio) she took, simply because she’s a corrupt trashbag who wanted to have the same last name as a man with influence.
  • She went to Holy Name. Nuff said.
  • She has been known to only bang local drug dealers and gangstas, because as a rich white chick this is how she attempts to keep it real.
  • She got a job at the probation department, where she had access to confidential information on state’s witnesses, which she then began handing out to her gangsta friends like it was cheap wine. Several witnesses have disappeared, but none could be tied to her.
  • Despite a Boston Globe expose on her corruption, she was still able to use Daddy’s influence to keep her job, where she continues to work to this day.
  • Allowed Giancarlo Zambrano, a well known drug dealer and scam artist, to penetrate her penis fly trap.
  • She spent time with Giancarlo’s twin brother, Jorge, who ended up killing Auburn Police Officer Ron Tarentino in May of 2016.
  • She posted pictures of herself and Giancarlo on Instagram flying to exotic locations all over the world, paid for by drug money.
  • We have sooooo much more on her that we hope to be able to release in the coming weeks.

Obviously the Guttermuppet has left a much larger and more well documented trail of ratchetry. But that’s only because she doesn’t have the resources and cunning that Trashley does. She is the most ratchet individual we have ever written about.





So there you have it folks. SSTG and Uncle Turtleboy have made their cases. Now it’s time for you to decide the long awaited question – who is the Queen Ratchet?









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23 Comment(s)
  • John Barker
    April 27, 2017 at 9:09 pm

    Great points..Black widow vs. the “widow”…I say Thunder Thighs is a earthshaking close one.

    • GWB
      April 28, 2017 at 7:37 pm

      Where are the results or do we just keep voting?

    April 27, 2017 at 7:29 pm

    OK well as much as I think we should have a solid tie…. Trashley as horrible a person as she is is no match for Golem aka Gutter Muppet. I mean she used her own kids?! They both suck but once you have kids you lose a certain level of selfishness. Sometimes, most times. Gutter Muppet sweeps!! Do you give out free T-shirts to people who call a sweep like Jordan’s does with furniture??

  • Ashlee Jean
    April 27, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    Please stop, Giancarlo and I are in love, I may have made bad choices but I would never hurt anyone. He is getting very upset as I am that this is being written. I know guttermuffet is going to win but
    I am suing Turtleboy and you will all see the public apology. This is nonsense!

    • Bff
      April 27, 2017 at 7:49 pm


  • Cave man calfs
    April 27, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Trashleys cave cannot carry a baby. It would fall out

  • Jealous Ashley can't get pregnant
    April 27, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Hey Ash, get a fucking life. Nobody can beat you. U low life scum. Are u jealous if shes pregnant cuz u can’t. Worry about urself instead of breaking up homes and families and trying to take innocent kids away from the one parent who always took care of them. Ur a disgusting piece of shit.

  • Ashley's bff
    April 27, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    Hey Ashley , just except it you are the QUEEN OF RATCHET- NESS EVEN IF YOU DON’T WIN THE POLLS

    • Turtlehead
      Fuck You
      April 28, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      Accept* …..English isn’t hard

  • Nicky
    April 27, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    She’s not pregnant, Ash stop trying to get the spotlight off of you !

  • itsjustme
    April 27, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    Has it been confirmed gutterpuppet is really pregnant again?

  • Hughbo Mont
    April 27, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    Trashley for the win. She needs to be in the TB graveyard!

  • Only me
    April 27, 2017 at 2:15 pm

    Yoflapshanglow has my vote .

  • Vote Ashley
    April 27, 2017 at 11:54 am

    A cop killing, drug dealing, home wrecking, controlling, druggie herself, mule drinking, whore, sad human to society like Ashley Losapio wins my vote.

  • Woo Town Cru
    April 27, 2017 at 11:10 am

    Ashley FTW.
    Guttermuppet is obviously mentally ill and learning disabled. She just can’t help herself.

    Ashley is completely sane and CHOOSES to act this way.

  • Calling all trash co
    April 27, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Need trash pick up!
    14 wheelock ave millbury
    Lots of fish smelling trash needs to be picked up. Old stretched and beat up roast beef.
    Please pick up asap
    Cannot be recycled. The smell is horrific.

  • Debbie
    April 27, 2017 at 8:28 am

    Ashlee needs to be crowned the winner . To the person that is trying to stick up for her , she let Jorge zambrano kill an Innocent officer that was trying to do his job ! If your ok with that , then your just as cold and heartless !

  • HN whore
    April 27, 2017 at 8:26 am

    I went to HN with her. Every guy she had sex with she said he took her virginity away, lol or cried rape. She legit screwed the entire school and plenty more outside school. She was disgusting then now beyond disgusting. She thought she was untouchable in high school and only got worse. I see her out when her bf Giancarlo is in Miami and trust me that whore aint innocent. Shes always on the prowl for attention and a fuck buddy. She will never change.

  • Trashley
    April 27, 2017 at 8:18 am

    The fact that we cannot even trust the judicial system because of some used up snatch like Ashley Losapio needs to win this ratchet madness. And next step we need to get together and make this whore lose her job. Shes a dried up snatch who has screwed the entire Worcester county, home wrecker, can’t have kids so wants her drug dealing bf kids, sucks off her step daddy, gets a high controlling these gangsters with her power. Ur step daddy is getting old he cannot protect you forever.

  • So proud of u Trashley
    April 27, 2017 at 7:43 am

    Trashley ur parents and bf must be so proud of you. You really are a winner winner chicken dinner.

  • Phong
    April 27, 2017 at 7:00 am

    The funny thing here is one chose Ratchetness and the other was born into it. Do I choose the one who didn’t really have a chance or the one who thought it would be a great lifestyle.


  • No Comparison
    April 27, 2017 at 6:35 am

    It’s like bringing down the junkie druggy or the cartel… Loslopiho for the win! She would get Guttermuppet her kids back, just like she backed Zambrano to get a slap on the wrist. She is a copkiller.

  • Jack Mehoff
    April 27, 2017 at 5:56 am

    It’s a shame one has to lose. Both are extreme ratchets, the fact that they consume Oxygen that good people could use makes me sick.

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