Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Sweet 16: Cheesehog Region

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Voting is completed in the Sweet 16 matchups of the Fupasloth Region, and the two ratchets who will be competing for a slot in the Final Four are……..

The #1 seed Alli Bibaud vs. #7 seed Lowell Beaver Bumper. I was shocked at how much the Beaver Bumper won by. I really thought Pure had a shot, but Alli might be in line for a serious challenge next round. Here’s what the bracket looks like now:

Time for the Cheesehog Region…..

Ashley Brady is the only 2 seed that made it to the Sweet 16, and so far this has been the most predictable bracket, with only the 11 seeded South Shore Sausage Queen really being any sort of upset. As usual we will provide you with links to relevant blogs on each ratchet, as well as highlights from their ratchet resumes so you can make an informed decision…….

 

1. Leigha Genduso vs. 4. Claremont Lynch Mom

Leigha Genduso

  • Has tendency to bang older bald men who can get her nice things
  • Sold large amounts of pot wrapped in Christmas paper
  • Hid $275K worth of drug money from the feds by giving it to a lawyer who has been accused of rape by four women
  • Insists she got her job based on merit, told us to “get your facts straight”
  • Straightened facts revealed that she was given the chance to receive immunity by testifying in front of a grand jury and perjured herself anyway
  • Admitted to being pill popping pothead on the stand
  • Still became a state police dispatcher where she shared confidential emails with random people on the Internet
  • On Facebook she made fun of people who she thought were not qualified to be corrections officers
  • Thinks she’s going to get her job back after being checked into a loony bin when we exposed her

 

 

Claremont Lynch Mom

  • Post about white son being lynched went viral, even though he was just fucking around with idiot friends in the backyard
  • Realized that if she highlighted his 1/8 blackness that she could get a nice GoFundMe going
  • GoFundMe raised over $50,000
  • Fed into nationwide narrative that hate crimes are on the rise
  • Pretends to be loving and caring mother, but really gave up custody of her kid so she could rip butts and pound wine
  • Gave interview about the dangers of diversity, not knowing that diversity is a good word
  • Forced son onto bootleg version of The View where he was clearly emotionally damaged from all the shit Mom is putting him through
  • Got knocked up by rapper named Gho$t, who quickly ghosted on her shortly thereafter
  • Ended up moving in with new chudstuffer with tons of violent Google trophies who she brings around her four children

 

 

 

 

2. Ashley Brady vs. 11. South Shore Sausage Queen

Ashley Brady

  • Head of the greatest Facebook cult ever – Moms of the South Shore
  • Used authority to silence all dissenters and make herself the cult leader
  • Forced newer members to pay between $10 and $50 to join her Facebook group
  • Ran fundraisers for other Moms but all money went through her PayPal and she provided no receipts
  • Kicked out anyone who questioned her
  • When she realized Turtleboy was watching she began posting about a mass purge, expelling thousands of women who did not comment enough and kiss her ass
  • Started fundraiser for herself to go to Disney because her very important work running a Facebook group meant she couldn’t get a job
  • Has a picture of herself on top of the throne at her house
  • Has a different pair of LuLaRoe leggings for every day of the month
  • Will banish you from the group if you talk about her choice of leggings on your own Facebook page
  • Might have sent a mole to Turtleboy Sports undercover to find out if we were in her Facebook group
  • Had a strict policy of no solicitation, even for fundraisers for sick kids, but still ran GoFundMe’s for her Disney trips

 

 

South Shore Sausage Queen

  • Already Turtleboy famous from last year’s Patriots parade fight and history of racially charged Facebook posts
  • Does amateur porn where she kicks guys in the balls and then gives them footjobs
  • Tried to get revenge on one of countless enemies by messaging from her account, pretending to be her mother, and claiming to have just found her own dead body
  • Messaged back and forth for over an hour, while all the while claiming to be her mother lying over the corpse of her daughter
  • Claimed she had not called the cops yet because she had to research through her daughter’s (her) Facebook page for clues about who to sue
  • Forgot she was speaking in her Mom’s voice and called the girl she was messaging a “cunt chink” falsely assuming she was Asian
  • Posted on her Facebook page, pretending to be her Mom, telling the world that she was dead and how much Mom would miss her

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You have 24 hours to vote…..

7 Comment(s)
  • R. Cranium
    April 21, 2018 at 11:46 pm

    Fucking your way to the top is as old as Apple Pie, or whatever other cliche you come up with. Genduso sucks. Literally and figuratively, but pretending your white kid was lynched in the whitest part of the whitest state…. so you could exploit said white boy to GoFund yourself into a new SUV is more ratchet all day long. I’m sure I’m in the minority (pun intended), but fuck that bitch.

  • Troopers are your best protection
    April 21, 2018 at 10:19 pm

    Massachusetts State Police, should be investigated by the DOJ, FBI, US Marshals, DEA, IRS, United Nations.

    Mass State Police are corrupt beyond belief and we’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg. RICOH investigation and lawsuit by the other 49 states. Mass State Police, are sick joke of law enforcement a criminal enterprise operating with full knowledge of every member. Round em up an put em away.

  • Truely Warren Ass Eater
    April 21, 2018 at 10:10 pm

    Snow bikini can gulp my yogurt and take my purple warrior anally any day. What the hell so can the rest of the Kuntz! Any society that gives women too much power is soon destroyed by those cunty broads. Women are a fucking curse.

  • Dr. Cock
    April 21, 2018 at 2:23 pm

    I’d put my tongue up Sausage Queen’s ass after she ran a marathon, but all Ashley Brady would get from me is an Armenian Gas Mask.

  • TBS gives me anxiety
    April 21, 2018 at 10:41 am

    There needs to be a hall of fame for these ratchets. Its almost unfair to other ratchets that have to go up against leah genduso. In a normal year, ashley brady would win this contest by a landslide. But then you also have the heavyweight contender, DiDi. Man, i feel so torn when i vote in these battles.

  • Hughbo Mont
    April 21, 2018 at 7:18 am

    You fucked up the name order in the second poll.

  • Stunt Penis
    April 21, 2018 at 6:22 am

    Before I can vote, I really need to know if the South Shore Sausage Queen has camel toe that resembles an Arby’s Smokehouse Brisket sandwich, complete with gouda cheese.

    Damn, now I’m getting hungry.

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