After seeing a drug arrest posted on the Ware Police Department’s Facebook page this morning I was inspired to bring back the Ware Mugshot Matching Game. For those of you unfamiliar with Ware, it was ranked as the 4th biggest dump in Massachusetts in a Turtleboy study conducted in 2015. Ware is a shithole on Route 9 between Amherst and Worcester that has become a haven for recently paroled sex offenders, junkboxes, and anyone who enjoys living in a trailer. I have no idea how or why all these crotch critters chose to live in one small but concentrated community together, but their police department’s Facebook page is easily the most entertaining one to follow in Massachusetts.
Here’s how the game works. I post mugshots of recently arrested Ware crotch rockets, and you have to match them to the crime they committed? Here are our contestants.
Now match them up with their crimes committed and see how many you can get right. This is a harder version of the game since most of the arrests this time around involve crack monkeys selling different kinds of drugs.
1. B&E in the Daytime for a Felony, Wanton Destruction of Property, Larceny over $1200, and Larceny of a Firearm
2. Literally biting someone’s ear off
3. Reckless Endangerment of a Child, selling Kpins and heroin around a child
4. Selling adderrall, crack cocaine, and heroin
5. Selling regular cocaine, Heroin, miscellaneous pills, and other drug paraphernalia
6. selling prescription medications, crack cocaine
7. selling Crystal Meth, MDMA (ecstasy), Crack Cocaine, Suboxone
Here’s your correct answers.
A – 3. Juan Luis Casiano-Rentas – Reckless Endangerment of a Child, selling Kpins and heroin around a child
B – . Greg Normand and Censior Rodriguez – B&E in the Daytime for a Felony, Wanton Destruction of Property, Larceny over $1200, and Larceny of a Firearm.
C – 6. Kristen Dubuque, Robert Guelff, Stephen Robert, Heather Wheeler – selling prescription medications, crack cocaine
D – 7. Sara Herlihy, Tina Bellis, Melanie Fotiathis, Jack Coburn, Aaron Gasque, Melanie Fotiathis – selling Crystal Meth, MDMA (ecstasy), Crack Cocaine, Suboxone
E – 4. Tara Byrd, Michael Martino, Amber Cornelius, Albert Laviolette – Selling adderrall, crack cocaine, and heroin
F – 2. Alan Mosher – Literally biting someone’s ear off
G – 5. Fermin Diaz, Katie Young – Cocaine, Heroin, miscellaneous pills, and other drug paraphernalia
F was the easiest one. That dude is hangry for ears. You can tell just by looking at him.
I have no idea why all these people chose to live in one relatively small town in the middle of nowhere, but Ware really is where dreams go to die.
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