Hoodrat Heroes

West Warwick Ratchet Princess We Blogged About In 2016 Has Graduated From Carnival Fights To Throwing Bottles At Cars On The Highway Nearly Killing A Woman

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Remember two years ago when some West Warwick trashbag Dad named Mel Taylor put a bounty on a hoodrat’s head for allegedly beating the shit out of his innocent 16 year old daughter Ally Tortolani?

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Then we got hold of the actual video and it turns out that his princess jumped in the middle of a hoodbooger hodown, started throwing haymakers, and ended up getting knocked the fuck out:

A normal parent would be ashamed to have a slugrake of a daughter representing him like this. Not Mel Taylor though:

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He’s proud, AND he’s suing!!


Anyway it’s been a couple years the West Warwick Warthog has been featured on Turtleboy. We almost forgot about her. During this time she’s been freeing a lot of her boys with Facebook posts and perfecting the art of the dog filtered selfie:

Ally came back on our radar today, because she’s 18 now, on parole, and apparently robbing people in marijuana deals gone bad and trying to kill them:

Basically what happened here is that because marijuana is still illegal in this country the girl so Brittany’s friend had to get pot off of these jamokes. They ended up getting robbed and then on the highway Ally Tortolani and her three male companions started heaving bottles at their car, swerving at them, and causing them to crash.

Some have doubted this side of the story. In fairness, it sounds like they got robbed, gave chase, and ended up crashing. But Brittany, who is enrolled in school and seems to have a good head on her shoulders, insists that this was not the case. And quite frankly if I have to pick between believing a 25 year old woman who seems perfectly normal, and this perpetual teen mom candidate, I’m going with the former.

Oh, and Ally posted this right before the crash:

Zannies!! And did we mention she’s on parole? Does this sound like a chick who doesn’t like getting all fucked up and making bad decisions?


Sadly Mel Taylor is not around for our entertainment this time, but Mom sure has a lot to say……

“Throw my daughter onto the bus.” 


I know if my daughter was accused of something like this the first thing I’d do is go on Facebook and verify that my daughter did in fact sell this person weed. Oh, and then I’d accuse the girl of posting fake pictures of her car wreck, even though this is her current condition:

And just in case there was any doubt that the car flipped over Brittany went on Facebook Live today to prove it:

Mom was just getting warmed up though. She then threatened to reveal damning information about the woman her daughter threw bottles at on the highway:

She also posted a picture of what she claimed that Brittany was claiming was her car, as proof that Brittany was a liar:

Except she clearly got that gray car wreck image off of Google, and it still has the watermark on it.

And just in case there was any doubt, Brittany also has screenshots of her conversation with Ally after the accident:

“Then they threw something back.” In other words, she’s admitting that this did indeed happen.

Anyway, it’s really only a matter of time until Ally ends up in jail. Shocking, because she was brought up with such great parents who never, ever made excuse for her ratchet behavior.


20 Comment(s)
  • I don’t care
    January 27, 2018 at 8:53 am

    Fucking West Warwick trash. Let’s just delete warwick from Rhode Island ..

  • Jacob C Santram
    January 26, 2018 at 7:28 am

    Bro, I get that maybe this girl is a loser… Kind of agree for once… But dont you realize that you are also a ratchet loser turtleboy? You’re from a city where a bunch of negative shit happens just like any other metropolis and yet for some reason you choose to single out people and rag on them and make their life public, just for some attention. You my friend are as ratchet as it gets, hiding behind a monitor talking trash about people with a hidden identity. I wish we could see who you truly are in your worst moments as a human and post those as well, but you hide. These articles are far from having any type of positive impact and are filled with hate. You can tell you hate the lower class people who were born low class and werent taught better than to be the way most people are growing up without the priveledge you probably had. All in all I think you should find something better to use your writing skills for, this shit is really sickening that you just search for people to write corny articles on when you’re actual writing skills are sub-par anyways. Probably why you’re not reporting on anything more important than a bunch of retarded shit that goes on where we’re from. Get a real fucking job reporting real shit and stop seeking attention and validation by putting other people down. You seem like a straight up bum of a person.

    • Finn
      January 26, 2018 at 10:19 am

      Jacob C Santram,

      Bra (spelling stays), just went through your Facebook. You’re pretty rachet yourself. It’s chock full of “Nigger” this and “Nigger” that. NICE! But you’re not a racist – right? You’re allowed to because you’re a badass. (BTW – he’s not black, but he had tried the dreads look and failed miserably).

      He also has the standard “FUCK THE POLICE” posts – so he must be legit. For such a young guy, he knows a LOT about hating the po-po. Wow, he’s angry about the police.

      He has the the typical pictures of blowing weed clouds for the camera — WEED SHOULD BE LEGAL!! (oh wait it is…) .

      Jacob – you also got banned from Facebook at one time- didn’t you? Glad they couldn’t keep you down. Why is it that you’re 1st amendment rights are more important than TBS? You recently posted :

      “Facebook banned me tryna keep ya boy down but im back”

      Btw – does your dad, Balram Sarvashetty, know you’re acting a fool? He’s actually good guy – respected in his field. He’s worked very hard to get his start up.

      You pretty much follow the crowd trying to be gangsta and then fail short when trying to criticize a blog you know ZERO about. You just illustrated your reading comprehension skills (you read 1 story out of hundreds and made an assumption).

      Get Fucked Jacob,

  • Amanda
    January 25, 2018 at 8:13 am

    Brittany is a bum along with the Taylor’s they are both addicts. Brittany sells her self online for drugs and the taylors are want to be thugs lmao. Brittany as a mother shouldn’t be out buying drugs. Taylor I wouldn’t be proud to put pandola all over ur fb he fucks cases up a lot forces people to write statements under age high school girls at that with no parent around. The both belong in a rehab if u ask me.

    • Billy
      January 25, 2018 at 9:33 am

      If Brittany is a addict then why did the blood test from the hospital come back negative for toxins?

      • Finn
        January 25, 2018 at 4:11 pm

        ” then why did the blood test from the hospital come back negative for toxins?”

        It didn’t.

        Get Fucked,

        • Billy
          January 26, 2018 at 7:25 am

          It did come back negative you moron. Don’t matter heard machine gun Ally is locked up as I write this anyways.

          • Finn
            January 26, 2018 at 9:50 am

            “Don’t matter”? (idiot)

            Any asshole that refers to herself as “Machine Gun Ally” at her age that isn’t in MMA or boxing is just a thug that got the beat down she deserved.

            What kind of idiot throws herself in the middle of a fight between 2 men?

            What kind of attention-seeking whore takes fake pictures of herself after an accident?

            What kind of dirtbag takes pictures of herself taking xanies before driving a 3.5 ton car?

            That entire family is a waste of space. They don’t see anything wrong with what they do. Btw – tell the dad she is no Ronda Rousey – Ronda keeps it in the ring and has self control.

            Prediction – she will crash and burn before she is 21 (if there is a God).

            Get Fucked Billy,

        • Brittany
          January 29, 2018 at 7:33 pm

          My blood tests DID Come back negative for alcohol AND drugs. I’m in school for respiratory therapy to save peoples’ lives and you have these losers that do not know me from a hole in the wall talking badly about me because I was put in the middle of a crossfire.

    • KAT
      January 29, 2018 at 7:54 pm

      “Sells herself online for drugs” “brittnay is a bum” that’s funny because she is in school full time to become a nurse; straight A student… and her drug test came back clean Otherwise she would have been charged with a DUI…. which you can look up. Brittnay is a great person; just at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.

  • Chuck Zepper
    January 25, 2018 at 12:56 am

    You guys are like borderline stalkers. Like gossiping high school girls. Wow. Who gives a flying F about any of these people? Get a job buddy.

    • Brittany
      January 29, 2018 at 7:24 pm

      I give a fuck actually because I lost a baby and almost my life due to a bunch of teens on Xanax acting cool.

  • I am Woman Hear Me Roar
    January 24, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    You people need to treat women with more respect… never mind

  • Aethelred the Unready
    January 24, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    I first learned about TBS via the Troopergate story, and have been a fan ever since. And after reading a number of these ratchet stories, and seeing firsthand evidence of ratchneess, I think we can all agree that, at the very least, we can no longer brag about America being a semi-literate country, let alone a fully-literate one. Man, these people absolutely waterboard the King’s lovely English.

    • ElJefe72
      January 24, 2018 at 4:27 pm

      Welcome to the world of the 47% (but growing).

  • vicxh
    January 24, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    I would machine-gun machine.gun.ally and totally flip her over a few times as well

  • Finn
    January 24, 2018 at 1:42 pm

    Can’t that whole clan just OD already? Nothing worth redeeming in that family tree. Chop it down and burn it.

  • Travis Rearick
    Autistic Turtle
    January 24, 2018 at 1:42 pm

    Sometimes I can’t believe we live amongst people like this

  • Xanax overdose pls
    January 24, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    Nasty lil shit

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