Hoodrat Heroes

Westerly Wenchtrench Angry Because Dog Breeder Friend Sold Puppy To Someone Else Because Chinstrapped Boy Toy Is Going To Jail, Ratchetmania 2018 Ensues

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Westerly, Rhode Island is an underrated source of ratchets. That’s why I had suspicions when this came across the turtle radar today…..

If you first saw this post you might think, “That’s horrible! This loving father wanted to get his daughter a puppy and some crudstain comes along, steals it, and sells it to someone else, probably for heroin money!! Especially since it’s a close friend that did it, the dog was allegedly paid for already, and the poor little girl had her heart set on it.”

But you’d be underestimating just how ratchet some people can get in Rhode Island.

First of all, her name is Ericha. Not Erica, or even the stripper version of it – Erika. Her name is Eri fucking CHA. As in, Cha-cha-chia.

Secondly, this is EriCHA:

No this, is not a backpage ad. It’s one of her many, glorious profile pictures that you could possibly catch gonorrhea from just by looking at them:

Don’t worry Ericha, “the Hood” doesn’t want you back either. Please stay in southern Rhode Island where you belong.

She seems like a classy broad who’s word can be trusted though….

This chick likes getting choked while taking the tuna torpedo?


Meanwhile this is the foreskin pimple she has chosen to bed with:

As you can see he prefers to rock the “I have court on Tuesday” starter kit – bootleg diamond earrings, a freshly touched up chinstrap, a tight zero fade, a tie that his Uncle Victor tied for him, a permanently erected middle finger, and a freshly lit Newport 100.

Well, as you can imagine there was a twist to this story, and Ericha wasn’t being completely honest about why the dog never got to them. According to commenters her boy toy Justin Varas is both a heroin dealer and even worse – a snitch!!

Is there any truth to this allegation? According to Justin’s vast array of Google trophies, even Snopes would verify this one:

So just to review Justin’s background:

  • In 2005 he was charged with conspiring to light a house on fire that had children inside of it, got a 10 year suspended prison sentence along with 10 years of probation.
  • In 2012 he was charged with delivering and possessing cocaine, and sentenced to 6 years in prison, but only with 1 to serve (because that makes sense). So I guess that despite the 10 year probation assessed 7 years prior to this in 2005, this was somehow not a probation violation for the 10 year suspended sentence? Makes sense.
  • Then in 2014, despite once again being on probation from the 2012 arrest, (and the 10 year probation from the 2005 arrest for arson), he was once again arrested for heroin, but was given another chance because it was for “personal use.”

Our criminal justice system is a joke. This is why it’s so hilarious when people whine about too many people being in jail. We don’t put nearly enough people in prison.

Now that her hosehog boyfriend’s background had been established, and their victim status questioned, EriCHA had to do some damage control:

She seems lovely. The first time you see someone utter the phrase “get your facts straight,” (even if they don’t spell it FACKS or FAX) you must assume that you are dealing with someone who can get you half priced food stamps with one phone call.

The person making the allegation was right though. Adam Cheli was his child’s Godfather, who was arrested along with him during the 2014 arrest. In a rare move Cheli admitted to being a drug addict in front of the judge and said he wanted to go to rehab. He was only living with Justin Varas because he was hooking him up with heroin. Less than a year later he was dead from a drug overdose, likely supplied by Justin Varas.

But please EriCHA, tell me more about how badly your chudstuffer has been screwed over by a friend who didn’t let an innocent dog grow up in a drug den. Your boyfriend is a model friend after all.

Turns out being a heroin dealer isn’t actually that bad. At least according to Justin’s friend Amanda Raney

I’ve seen a lot of ratchets attempt to rationalize their homey’s criminal behavior. But I’ve never seen anyone defend a drug dealing slugrake using the, “He didn’t make the heroin, he just sold it” excuse. After all, “don’t shoot the messenger.” He’s just the middle man profiting off of the destruction of others by selling an illegal narcotic during an opiate epidemic. No big deal.

Good news too – by the looks of Amanda’s wide open Facebook page, she’s spit out multiple poundtown trophies out of her baby bazooka. Obviously she’s a great mother who is imparting strong values to her children. I know one of the first things I taught my kids was that it’s OK to be a drug dealer. You just can’t actually make or use the stuff. Those are the bad guys, not the middle man.

Amongst Amanda’s biggest life concerns right now are the casting methods used by General Hospital:

Lots of mothers have time to not only worry about General Hospital’s plot lines and watch a show that’s on at a time when normal people are at work, but to then take to Facebook to voice their displeasure.

The guy who ended up selling the dog to someone else did so because Justin is actually looking at jail time for what I can only assume was yet another drug related offense. EriCHA posted their conversation on her page in an attempt to make it look like they were victimized:

So once again, he didn’t want to sell the dog to a person who he figured was going to jail. He then offered to refund the money he’d already collected for the dog.

Newsflash EriCHA – this doesn’t make him a bad guy. His grammar and the fact that he has a shared Facebook account might though:

Wait….he steals cars too? And not just any car, his best friend’s wife’s sister’s car. So obviously we looked into this allegation, and it turns out that the rabbit hole gets deeper, and the story checks out from a 2016 arrest:

Justin Varas, 30, of 57 John St., was arrested Saturday afternoon on charges including breaking and entering a business with felony intent, larceny under $1,500 and conspiracy to commit each. Court records show that Varas, who is involved in several active drug cases, was released on personal recognizance and is due in Washington County Superior Court for a felony screening on Oct. 3. 

Interim Westerly Police Chief Shawn Lacey said Tuesday that the investigation began after police received a call from the manager of the gas station just before 5 a.m. to report that a window had been broken and cigarettes were stolen from inside the station. The station was not open when the incident occurred, police said. 

The manager provided video images to police that showed three men in a 2007 Hyundai Elantra pull up to the station and get out, Lacey said. One of the men broke the window and reached in, taking 22 packs of cigarettes valued at $213. The three men then turned their attention to a business next door and tried to steal an ATM machine located on property belonging to Watch Hill Outfitters. Lacey said the men were unable to dislodge the machine but left behind fingerprints, ripped pieces of clothing, and blood droplets that were collected as evidence. 

The car was visible on the video but the police said the men used clothing to mask their faces. Around midday, the police received a report from a Pennsylvania woman who said her vehicle had been stolen sometime in the previous 15 hours. The caller was known to police, Lacey said, as were several of her associates on John Street, where she had been staying. Lacey said the description directly matched the car seen in the surveillance video. 

After speaking further with the car’s owner, who was not identified, she admitted that she knew who had taken the car but was unsure where they had left it. The car was later found parked at Cimalore Field in Westerly and the police, acting on information provided by the car’s owner, found Varas hiding under a pile of clothing and blankets in a corner bedroom of his John Street home. Further suspects have already been identified as well, police said. 

This mother fucker stole 10 cartons of cigarettes, got into his stolen Hyundai Elantra, then went next door and tried to steal the ATM machine, failed, and left a plethora of bread crumbs for the police to easily find him. Finally he abandoned the vehicle, went home and hid under a pile of dirty laundry in his bedroom, because the cops would never think to look there.

Yet he STILL stayed out of prison.

Then last week he got arrested on warrants for a September 2017 traffic stop in which he was driving without a license, and a bunch of what turned out to be fentanyl was found inside the car:

A Westerly man with a history of drug charges was arrested Jan. 29 and ordered held without bond on a warrant charging him with possession of fentanyl, which was found during a traffic stop last September. The man, Justin M. Varas, 32, of 19 Ashaway Road, was charged last week with two counts of possession of a controlled substance. Varas, who was presented as a bail violator this week, is being held at the Adult Correctional Institutions in Cranston.

According to police, he was stopped on Jan. 29 by a Westerly officer who knew he was wanted on a warrant from Hopkinton. Capt. Mark Carrier of the Hopkinton Police Department said the charges stem from a traffic stop on Sept. 29, 2017. An officer had stopped Varas for an equipment violation and found that he was driving without a license, the department said. The police decided to impound the car, and while preparing it for towing, they discovered two baggies containing a suspected narcotic. The material was sent to a state lab for testing, and on Jan. 2 the tests came back positive for fentanyl, Carrier said.

Oh good, he’s at least being held in a Cranston jail because he’s a bail violator. Yet he’s STILL POSTING on this thread on his girlfriend’s Facebook page!!! And his biggest concern seems to be establishing that he ain’t no snitch (because…priorities) while dropping hard n and f bombs:

According to him he’s actually innocent in all of this, and only agreed to buy the dog so that his buddy Derek with the shared Facebook account could buy Christmas presents:

Man of the year in the making!

Meanwhile EriCHA is still voicing her displeasure with the way this all went down:

Man, she is ANGRY!! I’d say she’s on her period, but from the looks of it she doesn’t even know what a period is.

Things got even more interesting once Ma Dukes showed up:

And in the most predictable plot turn ever she’s a former addict herself, and she had a stroke in 2003 to prove it:

Of course she doesn’t blame the drug dealer either. Her kid isn’t that bad. It’s all the addict’s fault. The supplier’s hands are clean. I expected nothing less from a grown woman who uses the dog filter.

Safe to say her drink of choice is chin and juice….

Not sure why EriCHA is so defensive of her lifetime offender boy toy. According to the only slightly less ratchet people they were trying to buy the dog from, he hasn’t been faithful to her:

Just a reminder, her sister is the same person he stole the car from who was already, “known to police.” Welcome to Westerly.

Better watch yourself EriCHA, because she be putting you on blast on Jam’n 107.7:

Holy Phi Slammer Grammar!!

The last person to tap in was Justin’s ex, Charlotte Sullivan, who wanted to defend his honor and let the world know that the real reason he turned into such a scumbag (even though he’s been getting arrested nonstop since 2005) was because he wasn’t with her anymore:

And to cap off this ratchet parallelogram, less than 2 months ago this lifetime drug dealer and dope fiend started a fraudulent GoFundMe, using his daughter to try to solicit funds from people:

Cheer company? What does that even mean? Well, Justin actually pretended to be his daughter, tried to write in her voice, and claimed that she and a friend named “Lula” were planning on buying a Staples (the chain store, not actual Staples) and converting it into a cheer company for $2,000:

You simply cannot make this stuff up.

Editor’s Note: If EriCHA or her boy toy wants to come on Turtleboy Live tonight to defend their honor and explain their side of the story, message us on Facebook and we’ll make it happen.

43 Comment(s)
  • Mind blown
    February 19, 2018 at 1:57 pm

    Somebody needs to sell this to TLC as a reality series.

  • Jen
    February 12, 2018 at 12:13 pm

    She must be an outstanding citizen. Her best friend is that dumb bitch who took a selfie with a loaded needle and spoon full of dope chillin on the counter. If she’s dating these kind of men and having chicks like that around she’s got to just be the salt of the earth.

  • bleh
    February 11, 2018 at 10:01 pm

    Who needs General Hospital when you got this mess?

    Instead of a dog, how about getting your daughter some non-drug using/dealing parents.

    Oh, and Amanda Raney sounds GAF for Ericha.

  • Smithers
    February 11, 2018 at 12:28 pm

    I need a translator for all these dope heads’ run on sentences. I legitimately can’t understand a damn thing they are trying to say. I tend to think their doses should have a little more fentanyl in them so we don’t have to pay their way in prison.

  • Carla G
    February 11, 2018 at 9:56 am

    You people need to learn to read cuz this story aint about drugz if you read the posts it about they buy a dog you stupid an then they sold the dog twice so now her boyfriendz little girl dont have her dog but you think its about drugz cuz thatz all youz think about I hope she getz her dog back cuz they paid already an then they sold the dog to someone else and thats against the law an they will go to jail if some one callz the copz on them instead of bein nice an jus askin for the dog back!

    • Well, No Shit
      February 11, 2018 at 11:38 am

      Well, the two topics are directly related. 

      The puppy didn’t go to the person who bought it, because the seller didn’t want the pup to be subjected to abuse and neglect.

      Opioid abusers are pieces of garbage. They barely do enough to stay alive themselves. How in the fuck are they supposed to care for an animal? That puppy would have been completely neglected in a short period of time, and probably dead within a year.

      The sellers are better people for fucking that snitching piece of shit over. Fuck him, and fuck his disgusting cave troll girlfriend. I hope that they both die painfully and alone. 

    • Smh
      February 11, 2018 at 2:51 pm

      Lmao return of ghetto mom!

    • Chris
      February 11, 2018 at 5:11 pm

      First off they put a deposit in the dog and Justin was arrested for fentanyl so the people with the dog made a call t to sell the dog cause they didn’t want a scumbag heroin addict and dealer to have their dog. That’s how the drugs got brought up. Because he’s a known scumbag that will sell his best friend a bag of bad heroin.

    • Grammar Nazi
      February 11, 2018 at 5:40 pm

      …. and in the land of grammar, an angel lost its wings after reading Carla’s excessive use of the letter “Z” and the run on sentence that came from her bile. One day, she may learn the English language and use it correctly to make her points. Until then, one can only wonder if she too is a junky, spreading her lips for any cock that spits in the lower end of Pierce Street.

  • Brian albrecht
    February 11, 2018 at 12:47 am

    This fucking moron from providence can barely write. I almost had a stroke reading that abomination of a headline. You fucking retards on this site are the stupidest white trash pieces of shit ive ever come across. Straight pussy’s, poor too. Sucks to be you.

    • Brian Alltalk
      February 11, 2018 at 2:28 am

      Hey Brian Alltalk, you fucking total pussy, you said you were at Starbucks, I told you to go around the corner to Dunkins on Summer Street because Starbucks is for homos, and you pussed out. Don’t fuckin say you didn’t see the post. You’re a flaming faggot, Alltalk. I own you, bitch. You wanna try again, name a place. Bring your girl so I can slap you while I fuck her in the ass. Pussy.

    • I’m briANALbrecht, and I Approve This Message.
      February 11, 2018 at 7:23 am

      I’m Brian M Albrecht, a 27 year old loser who still lives with my parents at 121 Federal Street, Weymouth. I love to chat with boys, so give me a call at (781) 812-0505, or (617) 770-2303. Please, call after midnight, though. 

    • Brian Alltalk
      February 11, 2018 at 8:08 am

      No excuses Brian you pussy. I’m working the 3-7 shift today Summer street Dunkin Donuts. Show up so I can spit in your coffee you loser!

  • Would
    February 10, 2018 at 10:21 pm

    Would, hell yes! Rock Hard.

    Slather a little crisco mixed with salt on your dick before and listerine or hydrogen peroxide or high proof whiskey after, you won’t catch anything. Is there a genetic link between sexy and crazy in women.
    Fentanyl will fix this situation, guarantee, just wait.

    • Bill Clinton
      February 11, 2018 at 8:07 am

      Agreed. EriCHA has all the makings of a 1st class humidor for my bologna cigar.

  • Eljefe72
    February 10, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    As the world turns among the 47%. 

  • whatevuh
    February 10, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    Can we get this down to 17 fucking pages? You expect me to read all this, yikes.

  • I give up
    February 10, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    I was going to try and comment with something witty, but after attempting to descifer that back and forth war of grammatical errors I…I….I just have am brain dead ‍♂️

  • Fat sweaty netty
    February 10, 2018 at 9:42 pm

    Also, Hugh Jass. You prove every single day that TBS won. You come on here to say Dede won. How? You can’t even stay away lol. Thanks for showing us how obsess Dede is. That bitch is so obsess with the turtle. Thanks for proving it every single day you comment

  • Fat sweaty netty
    February 10, 2018 at 9:40 pm

    As someone who knows the police that works near him. He does in fact snitch. He rats out everyone to avoid jail time. Dudes the biggest snitch ever. He cried saying he can’t survive in prison

  • Finn
    February 10, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    Amanda Raney,

    You ignorant slut. (thanks Chevy)

    According to your logic of “supply and demand” (I’m guessing you saw this discussed on an episode of General Hospital), human sex traffickers are innocent as well. They’re just the “middle man” right? As long as there are evil people willing to destroy people – there will always be a middle man for moving the product (whether it be drugs, women or even children).

    Heyyyyyy – does that mean I can distribute kiddie porn from my laptop for profit? I know it’s illegal and immoral – but there’s a HUGE market and there will always been producers and consumers.

    Get Fucked,

    • Well, No Shit
      February 10, 2018 at 9:29 pm

      Few probably got the Old School SNL reference, but I appreciated it. 

      Having said that, it was Dan Aykroyd who uttered that famous line; not Chevy Chase.

      Sorry to be “that guy.”

      • Finn
        February 11, 2018 at 9:06 am

        Oh shit – you’re right. WHY WHY WHY (Nancy Kerrigan reference).

        My bad.

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    February 10, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    Nothing says hepatitis like her profile pics.

    Lets give the ‘boyfriend’ back his drugs.

    All at once. After locking up the Narcan.

    Think of it as Evolution in Action.

  • Adot
    February 10, 2018 at 5:30 pm

    He’s already home

    • thetruth
      February 10, 2018 at 8:11 pm

      lol stfu . wernt you that chick to post a selfie before or after shooting up ?!

      • Jen
        February 12, 2018 at 12:14 pm

        She must be an outstanding citizen. Her best friend is that dumb bitch who took a selfie with a loaded needle and spoon full of dope chillin on the counter. If she’s dating these kind of men and having chicks like that around she’s got to just be the salt of the earth.

  • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
    February 10, 2018 at 5:07 pm


  • Werdunhere
    February 10, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    his daughter is hot

  • America First
    Soap Fan
    February 10, 2018 at 3:44 pm

    The friggin’ bitch didn’t have the consisderation to type ***SPOILER ALERT*** before her General Hospital rant??! Sorry EriCHA, but some of us GH fans don’t have the luxury of sitting home on our asses all day and shooting up while watching it live… we have to work during the day, DVR General Hospital, then shoot up after dinner and watch it.

  • Hugh Jass
    February 10, 2018 at 3:42 pm

    The incomparable DeDe hog-tied TB’s FB presence, thereby eliminating his revenue stream… Poor, poor TB reaping what he sows. Snicker.

    • Well, No Shit
      February 10, 2018 at 4:51 pm


      Come up with some new material, brah. This is stale as fuck. 

      • Hugh Jass
        February 10, 2018 at 6:27 pm

        TB is irritated as luck by my constantly reminding his advertisers and readers what a poseur he is. Also, he is begging DeDe via IM for a truce. Like he did with that South Shore Mommy club. Sorry, TB you bullied the wrong grrrl.

        • Well, No Shit
          February 10, 2018 at 7:17 pm

          I can almost guarantee that TBS could not possibly give less of a fuck about your constant chirping about your Lord and Savior, DiDi. 

          The rest of us, on the other hand, could really use a fucking break, dude. Seriously. Same boringly predictable comments on every story. It’s old and annoying. Let it go. 

          • Hugh Jass
            February 11, 2018 at 3:45 am

            Don’t like my posts? Then put my handle on ignore, girlfriend! Snicker…

          • Well, No Shit
            February 11, 2018 at 7:10 am

            Or, you could just grow up. 

            Try it. 

    • Yuck Foo
      February 10, 2018 at 9:57 pm

      Your pathetic ass spends more time on this site than turtleboy himself. Get a fucking life. 

  • TJB
    February 10, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    Lori, try a salad once and a while.

  • vicxh
    February 10, 2018 at 2:50 pm

    I would breed her

  • Well, No Shit
    February 10, 2018 at 2:46 pm

    What in the fuck did I just read? 

    What a ratchtastic parade of fucking dregs! 

    Aside from pedophiles, drug dealers are the lowest form of shitbag. They should all be classified as domestic terrorists and summarily executed. Period. 

    Ericha, sweetheart, your boyfriend is a shitbag. By defending him so vehemently, you have now identified yourself as a shitbag, too. I think it would be best if you just shot a hot dose right into your carotid, and ended it.

    Here’s to hoping that I see your name in the obits soon!

  • WPD loves Varas
    February 10, 2018 at 2:31 pm

    It’s all true… he will be out soon I’m sure cuz he stay snitchin. He’ll be back on the mean streets of Westerly selling death to his ‘friends’ in no time….

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