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Apparently a woman in West Warwick had her kitten stolen by some maggots:
They very wisely videotaped themselves doing it, and then throwing the cat out of the car. The cat is still missing:
A bunch of crackbaby white kids from West Warwick using the n word like it’s going out of style? Never thought I’d see the day.
“We just stole the Cumby’s cat.”Good thing videotaped confessions aren’t evidence of wrongdoing.
It goes without saying that these poopsmoochers are the lowest of the low. That poor fucking cat man. It was so scared in that video. Meanwhile these crack monkeys are dropping n bombs and laughing like the crackmuppets they are. At one point they even attempt to have a conscious when one of them recommends bringing the cat back to Cumbies. But because they’re soulless maggot welfare whores they decide to release the cat into the woods.
It took all of five seconds to find out three of their names. The woman filming is is Allison Provencal:
She’s a real philosopher, and lives by such creeds as, “free the real ones,” “boss the fuck up bitch”:
And “hell yea n word, Jeep gang”:
And by “Jeep gang” she means, “It’s only a matter of time until I’m gangbanged in the back of a Jeep.”
She doesn’t like n words who be acting big, because inevitably they just end up getting banged on too:
I think it’s safe to say when a caravan of men pulls up to her “acting big,’ she’s wends up getting treated like a dick cushion.
She’s totally not a crackwhore though. It’s not like she often finds herself in predicaments where strange men show up to her house with tire irons……
Honey, they weren’t there to beat you with those tire irons. They were there in case you needed a little extra stimulation.
Random groups of men always seem to be rolling up to her house:
She’s a real classy broad this chick:
You’re right. That cat seemed like a good pussy. Naturally a pscyho broad like you had to attach yourself to it.
Not only did she upload the video to SnapChat, she also tagged her coconspirators, who then went on to publicly admit what they did:
Corey Clark attempted to hide himself in that video:
But just like everything else he’s ever attempted in life, he failed.
Corey naturally is a fan of the dog filter:
Which is mostly used by women. But that’s OK, because Corey’s one of the girls anyway.
Remember what Allison said though, she has n words to defend her:
Yea sorry Allison, but the only thing Pubefarm Larry can defend you from is an orgasm:
According to Corey, he knows he was seen in that video, but it’s OK because, “I found it so I toke it lol,” and it’s “just a cat”:
Yea, who cares if the cat could be dead somewhere, and it wasn’t your cat to begin with. Not your problem.
Oh, and he reproduced:
I know, I know. I’m as shocked as you are that he has a functional penis, AND there was a woman out there with such low self esteem that she allowed him to toss his micromachine in her bat cave.
The girl sitting in the front seat was Zyahna Bernard:
According to her, “I am that bitch”
Ya know, the bitch who “forgot” to tell you that she has crabs.
She’s the complete hoodbooger package. Big fan of the dog filter and 100 emoji:
Unfortunately for needle dick, Scissor Sanchez over here doesn’t swing that way.
Which is weird, because she apparently refers to her girlfriend as “my man”:
Her newfound love for the lady’s pond seems to be less than a month old, as back in March she was keeping the menfolk at bay:
Don’t worry, she’ll still find a way to get pregnant December.
As you can tell from her posts on Facebook, she’s getting ready for second semester at Brown in the fall…..
Oh, and don’t fuck with her beef ion:
I have no idea what a beef ion is, but I bet it’s been in her mouth at one point.
West Warwick might produce the highest concentration of white people who don’t realize that they are in fact white. Seriously, 99% of the people we’ve written about from there are white, and not one of them has ever had an issue using the n word. We write about a lot of gutter trash at Turtleboy, but some of the most vile, debaseless creatures always end up being from there.
I really hope the West Warwick Police post their mugshots on their Facebook page when they are arrested for this. Because no one deserves a public shaming more than them.