Being a die-hard sports fan, especially if your team of choice isn’t very good, can be really hard. For some, it can actually take a toll on their emotional well being. You may find yourself preoccupied, or stressed out, angry, or maybe you threaten a mass shooting. You know, sports fan stuff. Right?
Tobias Gray of Providence, RI knows.
Toby here is a native of New York and die hard Giants fan.
Toby has a son, grand-kids at what appears to be the age of 44, and a mixed bag of criminal charges that you’d expect from someone whose previous addresses include stops in the Rhode Island cesspools of Central Falls and Woonsocket.
Seriously, does anyone in that state have their driver’s license? Every person I research has at least one of these charges.
Anyway, in the sake of fairness, other than the suspended license charge, the last charge Tobias faced in RI was in 2008. He’s managed to keep himself mostly out of trouble (or more likely just didn’t get caught) for over 10 years. Until yesterday:
“A New York Giants fan in Rhode Island allegedly went nuclear over the New England Patriots signing Antonio Brown — and threatened to “pull a white boys school shooting” at Gillette Stadium on Facebook, officials said Monday.”
That’s going a little over board.
“Tobias Gray, who originally hails from New York and posts rap music online under the moniker Unibomba187…”
A rapper from Rhode Island who drives on a suspended license and threatens to commit violent crimes who calls himself “Unibomba”? No way. Turns out Unibomba’s real mass atrocities to humanity can be downloaded on sound cloud.
There’s the crime, Your Honor. Guilty. Throw the book at him. The fact that his lyrics glorify Ray Rice and Ike Turner, two of the most infamous domestic abusers of all time, is all I need to know about him as a person.
“I’m going to pull a white boys school shooting at Foxboro,” he allegedly wrote in the since-deleted post obtained by CBS4.
“You might as well hand them the ring right now I’m if I ever get my hands on a gun which I don’t have one yet but I’m looking I will go shoot up random people at Foxboro.”
What a gloriously ill-conceived sentagraph. Go big or go home, right? When are people going to learn that pulling a dirty delete accomplishes nothing. Once you hit “post” or “send” it’s out there, and the internet is forever.
“Gray appeared Monday in a Providence courtroom on a separate domestic assault charge — wearing a Giants jersey — and didn’t fight extradition to Massachusetts, where he’s wanted for the alleged Gillette Stadium threat.”
“They’re going to have me on the news looking like some villain,” the handcuffed 44-year-old told his lawyer during the brief hearing, according to footage from WPRI-TV.”
Well, yeah, when you threaten to randomly shoot people and go by the name Unibomba187, it’s really hard to paint you as a likable individual. I actually love the fact that he showed up to the courthouse decked out in Giants gear. If you’re making criminal threats because of your love for one particular NFL team, you might as well embrace the role. Go all the way or stay the fuck home.
Sure this guy is lame as fuck, but should he have access to firearms or sound recording devices? I’m going with no, and no. Look at this loser.
That $7 bottle of Pinot really adds to your street cred, Unibomba. So gangsta!
I have some advice for you, Toby. Just accept the facts that the Giants are terrible right now, Eli moves around the field like my grandfather, God loves the Patriots more, and they’ll likely go on to win ring #7 this season. Don’t try to fight it. Your life will be far less stressful.
At least he’s self aware.