All-Star Criminals

Woman Sucker Punches Cop Like A Loser During A Simple Traffic Stop And Claims She Had No Idea He Was A Police Officer

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.




Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM




You read the title right, some beastly looking fupasloth decided it was a good idea to sucker punch a cop. What a complete loser. She deserves to run into Officer Rosario so he could give her the hands and beat her ass. If you haven’t read that blog, click here.

Let’s watch the video:

It starts off innocent enough, doesn’t it? All he does is ask her to stop running her mouth and told her to leave before she gets arrested. She didn’t listen, so he takes her wrist to attempt to arrest her, and that’s when the Sucker Punch happens.

What a low life river dwelling beast, better known as the Behemoth. The officer eventually subdues the beast but not without a little bit of struggle, he had to taze her three times in her big ol’ belly. He had to have gagged while he was wrestling her. She looks like she smells. She probably smells like a mix of after workout ball sweat and burned hair.

If you’re interested in seeing her short interview with a reporter, click here.

She can be seen giving her boyfriend and, who I assume is her mother a hug after she spent a short 2 days in jail, and posted a 35k bond.

You know how you can just look at someone and immediately know if they live in a double wide? This is one of those times. Look at these fucking muffin tops. Nothing delicious about these two overly baked goods. The boyfriend is no better. I’m almost positive he hasn’t showered in weeks. He probably bird bathes, splashes some water on his balls and pits, then calls it a day.

So why did Kristen decide to sucker punch a cop? Because according to her interview, “I swung back, knowing he grabbed me, because he didn’t say anything,” Campbell said. “I didn’t know who it was.” The only other person there with them was her friend who was driving the vehicle. Who else could it have been? Ya lying sack of lard! Oh she also claims she is bipolar. I love when people diagnose themselves right when they do something insane, it’s as if they think it will magically become acceptable to break the law if they are mentally ill.

The most annoying comment from her in the interview is when she states, “I’m lucky to be alive, I guess the cop could have killed me.” Yes, you’re so lucky to be breathing the same air as the rest of us normal people who don’t break the law. Obviously, this officer knew how to do his job and handled the situation quickly and efficiently. You aren’t worth the possibility of him losing his career. He’s smart, he knows you will eventually die of a diabetes and high cholesterol related stroke eventually.

Here she is on the Facebook machine:

Oh, I see she likes wrestling, it all makes sense now:

There is no soul in those eyes. Those are the eyes of a woman who would smother you while you were sleeping all because you didn’t WD40 the snack drawer and she has to hear it creak over and over again every time she has the urge to eat her life away; triggered.


Oh look, a dog filter picture. Why am I not surprised? Every ratchet has one of these!

She is obviously a shitty member of society. Thank goodness she’s Detroit’s problem because we have enough people like her here in MA that we need to tolerate. We can’t expect much from people like her, and neither do her friends:

Wow, that must hurt. There were 8 people who felt bad for her make believe engagement and decided to click like. James isn’t easily fooled though, he knows she’s lying. If she really is engaged, the rest of you people who are single and reading this, let this be your personal motivation. If she can get married, anyone can.

At least she holds a job:

Lies. When people like her use the term “self-employed” it’s actually code for, “I’m mooching”


Nothing about this woman surprises me. She sucker punched a cop, how much lower can you go? It was a simple traffic stop. All you had to do was shut your fucking mouth for a few minutes (although it’s quite obvious you have a hard time doing that in your personal life; food much?) and you could have easily avoided this entire situation. He actually warned you, and told you beforehand that you would get arrested if you continued. I guess you didn’t take him very seriously then, huh? Well, now she’s due back in court sometime in early June. I hope she goes to jail and rots. Something tells me she wouldn’t survive one day in a facility with crazy women who have nothing to lose.

A huge thank you to the Police who have to deal with ratchets like this on a daily basis. I don’t know how you do it, Bless your hearts.



We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM


Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

6 Comment(s)
  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    June 9, 2017 at 4:05 am

    Take note of the date when she declared that she “works at self employed” and it makes a bit more sense.

  • BobnMic
    June 5, 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Campbell said. “I didn’t know who it was.” Yup – great defense. The Cop is not only wearing a prominently displayed uniform but it also has Sergeant stripes on it. Yup – had no idea who he was alright. Buying that one.

    Cop’s job stressful? Shit yes. Cop’s ability to keep it together and not take anything personal? Very important – more important than most people realize and it is easier said than done (relative more to the last article).

    However a clear conscious at the end of the day is a good feel.

    Nice job FTL. Seriously. Great insight into LE that many people do not realize and/or appreciate. Thank you…

    • June 6, 2017 at 2:04 am

      She is a lying sack of shit. A non productive member of society who should be stoned.

  • itsjustme
    June 5, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    Double wide? I think you’re giving them too much credit, I say single wide.

  • Fed up
    June 5, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Half this country is mentally ill and turning this country into a third whole country fast. These people than find other mentally ill people and have children. This is what we get , people like her. Open borders just makes this happen a lot faster, we are not getting their best.

    • Fed up
      June 5, 2017 at 6:21 pm

      Third world country fast.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?