All-Star Criminals

Worcester’s Spice Girls Rob Southbridge Guy They Just Sold Weed To At Gun Point, Good Thing Southbridge Residents Voted Against Legal Pot Shops In Town

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More positive news out of the beautiful land of Southbridge:

Just kidding. Everyone knows the only news out of Southbridge is bad news. But time it’s actually Worcester’s fault. Here’s my question – when did people in Southbridge stop selling weed? Why did they have to call in their heavy hitters from Worcester? You know if Worcester nudniks have to drive to Southbridge there’s a 75% chance your ass is getting robbed to cover the gas money. That’s just science.

Good God though. Just look at this vokestache:

It’s the most Worcester thing I’ve ever seen. He looks like every 16 year old 8th grader I saw at Sullivan Middle School.

Then there’s this winner:

Bro, do you even hardo? You can’t smile in a mugshot like that. Not with that haircut at least. Don’t worry though, “he got this 100 emoji”

Perhaps Danny Boy should’ve been more focused on freeing himself, rather than freeing the homies:

It’s true though. If at least 100 hoodrats write, “free my boi” on Facebook, the police are compelled legally to free them. I learned that in Internet law school.

Here’s the thing though Danny – no one is trying to free you in the comments. Only your coconspirator:

Looks like you’re going to jail.

In all seriousness though, this is what karma looks like for Soutbridge voters. In June Southbridge voters went to the polls and voted AGAINST allowing recreational weed shops in town. So now people in Southbridge who want weed have to call up Worcester’s version of the Spice Girls who then pack 5 hoodboogers into a Honda Civic, sell their shwagg, and then immediately rob the customer at gun point.

But thank God there aren’t any legal pot shops in town!! Those are dangerous!!

19 Comment(s)
  • T-Rev.
    January 15, 2018 at 11:42 pm

    Saw “Spice Girls” in the headline and I’m thinking “Alright, alright, alriiiigghhhtt…” .
    Then I pull up the article.
    Subbing the work out to reversalists in the joint and the “Juvey”. TR don’t swing that way, not even in the pursuit of Justice.

  • titiho
    January 14, 2018 at 6:40 pm

    Why do we have to take in people from shithole countries

    Donald Trump

  • Calling Hector
    January 14, 2018 at 8:19 am

    Couldn’t help but notice the 42 South Lenox Street address. That makes Aziz Sawadogo neighbors with WPD’s favorite lawyer Hector Pinero. Think Hector will take this one on pro bono for his neighbor or will he hope like everyone else on the street that some of the trash in the neighborhood get taken out?

    • Hector the Inspector
      January 14, 2018 at 9:31 am

      Just like he does with all minorities, Hector will school those kids into saying they were beat to shit by police and he’ll sue the city yet again that slimy fuck. Too bad his kid is no better than these pieces of shit.

    • Big Hector
      January 14, 2018 at 10:03 am

      Playin’ with my property values is playin wit my money. Playin’ wit’ my money, is like playin’ wit’ my emotions. Aziz on his own

  • hardyhar
    January 13, 2018 at 9:51 pm

    Can’t decide which is better:
    ” after buying marijuana for a friend.”
    “fled the scene in a silver Saturn Ion”
    “42 S Lenxon Street in Worcester, MA” – Lenxon St? Sounds like an anti-seizure drug.

  • Sonny's Mom
    January 13, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    icymi, dope users rob other users. It’s “who they are”.

  • WTF
    January 13, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    Since when has it become the norm to flag down off duty cops after your drug deal just went bad and you want justice?

    • Smitty
      January 14, 2018 at 10:05 am

      Hahaha^^^^ I was thinking the same thing

  • Yuck
    January 13, 2018 at 6:02 pm

    These thugs look like they would be more at home on the receiving end of a bukkake party than ripping off weed consumers.

    • Keith
      January 14, 2018 at 2:43 pm

      I could never face my father again if I got robbed by them bitches. Especially that pretty little mocha thang with the highlights. Mmmm mmm

  • Hugh Jass
    January 13, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    TB, fresh off a string of defeats at the hands of DeDe and her SJWs, is going to sue FB… Yah, sure, you can’t even stand up to DeDe yet you’re going to go to court with yuge FB?! It is to laugh…

    • Didi looks like 400 pounds of chewed bubble gum
      January 13, 2018 at 6:20 pm

      Not to worry, that big fat bitch will be taken down by a plethora of health issues. She’s so fucking fat, she can’t take a fucking shit without breaking into a sweat and hyperventilating. Let us know when they start cutting her diabetes ridden feet off. YEEHAW!

  • Steven Stover
    January 13, 2018 at 5:04 pm

    Shitheads from shitholes.

  • Worcester's Finest
    January 13, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    Another going town that went under. American Optical seemed to employ all of the town at one time. That is over thirty years ago and now what can one say.

    • Uncle Randy
      January 14, 2018 at 2:09 pm

      Still my go-to for shades. Their shit is 10/10.

  • Mass Graves
    January 13, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    Dull lifeless eyes, like a sharks.
    Empty vessels, no souls.
    Eugenics should be used to remove their bloodlines from society.

    • Dr. J. Mengale
      January 13, 2018 at 7:01 pm

      Eugenics, human genetics, two great endeavors. Both are much needed in the world today.

  • good one
    January 13, 2018 at 2:33 pm

    ” Worcester nudniks have to drive to Southbridge there’s a 75% chance your ass is getting robbed to cover the gas money. That’s just science.”

    That’s fucking hilarious !

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