All-Star Criminals

Yarmouth Ass Pirate Redefines Crack Cocaine – Gets Busted With Yayo In Butt Cheeks, Gives Fake Name, Undone By EBT Card With Real Name On It

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Meanwhile down the Cape…..

He had cocaine in his crack. The jokes just write themselves. Amazing.

Oh, and for good measure he had an EBT card on him. Because why wouldn’t an able bodied 34 year old career criminal with warrants and 41 previous charges be getting government funded food stamps? Clearly this ass pirate should not be required to get a job and take care of himself. Because somehow even fudge maggots like his have people lining up to make excuses for them:

Yea, God forbid we lock up a career criminal with 41 priors or stop spending taxpayer money on slugpumps like this when that money could be going towards schools.

The taxpayers should pay for his pit bulls

Chin straps

Hair cuts

Cigarettes

And swag

Because nothing says fresh to death quite like cargo pants.

Hey bro, I got 1998 on the line over here. He wanted to call you to ask for his pants back but his mother was signed onto AOL and all he got was static.

Remember when Cape Cod was a popular destination spot that people used to go to in order to get away from spunk nosed ass munchers like this? Good times.

 

40 Comment(s)
  • Henry Fool
    August 10, 2018 at 10:59 am

    he’s sportin’ a Gelsthorpe do.

  • Pappy
    March 29, 2018 at 6:46 pm

    Knew about this kid when i lived in downtown Hyannis over 20 years ago. We lived off Oak Neck where many of these troubled kids lived. I couldn’t take it but my roommate stayed and bitched about all the bastards in the neighborhood for years. A few of the kids died very young. Most never grew up and turned to crime and drugs. Including this guy i guess.
    In 1 year I lived their my car was broken into 5 times. Hyannis sucks. The schools suck and dont teach poor people how to make a living. In one door out the other.
    We have 1000’s of these people who have no fathers and uneducated lazy mothers on Cape Cod. Some make it but not many.

    • WP14
      April 2, 2018 at 2:57 pm

      Great story, sounds like a real page-turner.
      So, it’s not his fault it’s his surroundings? Funny, I think if this dirtbag came from a nicer neighborhood – he’d still be one.
      Am I alone on this one?

  • me109g4
    March 21, 2018 at 6:48 pm

    40 plus priors and a warrant out on him and bail was $340?? is it any wonder why People laugh at the Mass. judicial system? What a fuckin joke, you can get fucked harder than that for a parking ticket in Boston

  • dbk
    March 21, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    That dude was fighting in the UFC, fuck get your life together

  • Chickla
    March 21, 2018 at 12:18 pm

    Yarmouth (and almost all of the Cape west of Harwich for that matter) is like Lawrence with salt water taffy and beach umbrellas. It doesn’t help matters much that just about the only two things for people under 65 to do for about 9 months of the year on the Cape are to get drunk or stoned. Try being 23 without an education and living there in late January and tell me what lofty ambitions are floating through your mind.

  • Chip Striker
    March 21, 2018 at 11:40 am

    Nice haircut you fucking loser.

  • I Should Be Working
    March 21, 2018 at 8:14 am

    That guy he was with, Christian Morecraft, is an MMA fighter. Or was. Idk if he still fights

  • Southern Brass
    March 21, 2018 at 8:02 am

    The guy looks really close to this dickhead that calls himself Turtlelboy Uncle or whatever the fuck it is. Yall crack me up, you make fun of that stripper chick, and others I see, why cause they got a little film of them with the B-town accents? Im from the South where we are truly white, not you mixed blood mothafuckers, and yall sound the stupid fuckin same around Mass. I listen to a Podcast and that chick don’t sound any much difference than the guy narrating! Funny ass shit, he’s bustin on her for her horse voice and accent and he sounds the exact fucking same. And you cock skins like to take little meaningless shit that is popular like dog and lay over faces in Facebook? You do know fucking 90% of the people do it right? There’s no common loser denominator, the only value, or devalue, is what you preemptively put on it. Any one else that isn’t a turd that follows this BS, is buying into these traits as indicative of any loser notion. Sure, their, what u call them, “Google Trophies,” are indicative of how they are not upstanding citizens, which sure one can infer questionable civility. That’s true. But some of these articles I have read, just fucking pathetic. The true social study that should be done, is what is the dominate cohesive traits of you clowns? I loved the little giggle session you and some other jerkoff had at the end of the strippers call tape. Reminded me of two little kids getting their fist glimpse at a set of tits or something. Truly a reflection of what you guys are like. Now the crazier thing is, I’d like to see what these chicks that like to also be involved actually look like, something tells me that they probably aren’t high up on the looks meter, since they need to get off on the expense of others like the guys. That generally means fugly go mugly. How about some picts bitches? Stripper girl and , lets see, many other chicks criticized on this blog, have at least had some “wish I could fuck her” looks. Can’t take that away (not all of course.) Anyway, good day to you all, whatever gets you off.

    • I Should Be Working
      March 21, 2018 at 8:18 am

      No one is going to read all that. No one care. Kill yourself. But make sure you sell all your ebt cards before you do.

    • z
      March 21, 2018 at 11:50 am

      “You do know fucking 90% of the people do it right? ”
      Only if they are fucking stupid. So, maybe 90% of fucking stupid people do this.
      You in that 90%

      You seem to miss the point.

      This crap that gets posted is happening all around us. It doesn’t really get told by the MSM.
      These people relish in the fact that they are dumb fucks. They don’t even try to hide it.
      They go out of their way to broadcast it. They believe that their broadcast is hidden.

      I’m willing to give everyone a 2nd and maybe even a 3rd chance. People can change. But the vast majority of these people have been given 10-20 or more chances. They don’t care. They don’t care that you care. But, they tend to care a little bit if you shine a light on them.

      Ever have a cockroach in your house in the kitchen and it scurries away when you turn a flashlight on them? The cockroach doesn’t like the light. I hope some of these cockroaches decide to not be cockroaches anymore.

      Shame and ridicule seem to be a good way to get someones attention. I for years figured that the best way to sentence someone would be to stick them in a cage in their town wearing a pink bunny suit. A sign on the cage would say “I’m a dumbass who did XXXX”. I’m betting a couple of days of that would be more effective than months or years behind bars for most. The cockroaches and their supporters (you) have a problem with a relatively small, local (sorry TB) web site. I’d like to see this on a grander scale.

      Didn’t Sheriff Joe in Arizona have the inmates in pink? BTW, Sheriff Joe was born in Springfield.
      People like you bitched it wasn’t fair or nice.

      • GingyKidd
        March 21, 2018 at 4:34 pm

        I’m with you! This could and should be done on a much larger scale. These turd rockets don’t care about jail time. They go in and learn a few new skills, come out and up their game. They aren’t made to feel ashamed of their behavior or them selves. I really believe that publicly shaming them will indeed make them think twice about their behavior. TB has the right idea. More effective and less expensive than these BS 6 week or 6 month jail terms.

    • The North won the war
      March 21, 2018 at 11:58 am

      @Southern
      Is your father also your uncle?

  • Gina
    March 21, 2018 at 7:28 am

    why does a homeless person even need an EBT card? It’s not like he has a kitchen to cook the food in

    • I Should Be Working
      March 21, 2018 at 8:15 am

      Nobody is going to read all that and no one cares. Kill yourself

    • I Should Be Working
      March 21, 2018 at 8:17 am

      I replied to the wrong person lol

    • z
      March 21, 2018 at 10:46 am

      As Felipie Christian Lemonde said. Paraphrasing: “He’s gotta eat. Who is going to hire him with his record.”

      Man gets convicted for killing his parents. Judge sentences him to death.

      The guys lawyer says “Judge, how about some sympathy! My clients an orphan.”

    • vicxh
      March 21, 2018 at 10:56 am

      You’d think he would use part of the kitchen he is cooking meth in but once you do meth you don’t need to eat.

  • douchbag
    March 21, 2018 at 7:20 am

    Looser. Off yourself

    • GingyKidd
      March 21, 2018 at 4:37 pm

      It’s spelled “douchebag”

  • panzer9811
    March 21, 2018 at 7:15 am

    I do not understand how anyone can smoke crack….but ass crack-crack? That is so disgusting.
    The ass crack seems to be the “spot” for hiding drugs. (In the crack or deeper).
    I wonder how many of these crack-head shit-stains get shit-stained little bags at the time of purchase.
    Just repulsively NASTY.

  • Union Rep for the MA State Police
    March 21, 2018 at 6:11 am

    If he needs a job, I’m sure the Massachusetts State Police will hire him. In fact, we will be hiring him because we are factually on record for hiring drug dealers, documented perjurs, and even those that abuse drugs.

    • SheBangs
      March 21, 2018 at 8:00 am

      Face down azz up was also a requirement and i think k9 girl may have the advantage here.
      I will take stripper coke dealers for $300 Alex.

  • The truth hurtz
    March 21, 2018 at 6:08 am

    Yea well we throw him in jail and he gets even more free shit from our tax dollars he get food shelter clothing cable and much much more and you people bitch about an EBT card that probably wasnt even active considering his lifestlye he probably got it after his last stint in jail no way he kept up with keeping it active that shit takes time

  • John Angels in Plympton
    March 21, 2018 at 4:12 am

    Why is everyone being so hard on Joey? Man has got to be able to live free on ones own terms. Can’t do that and have to worry about shit like working to get food, not when that magical little state card will do it for you. As a matter of fact, Joester is working on his pimpin skills, and hopefully he puts that fine trim Cassie Mendoza out there on the streets. There’s some prime real estate I wouldn’t mind buying in one hour blocks. I wonder if he could rig up some sort of EBT pimp processing? Christ for Cass I would be willing to go 80 maybe 82.5 cents on the dollar. Only though, only if there is the possibility of big gape hole anal involved. Something tells me Joey should be able to accommodate, since his chin bar puss sort of looks like an big ole anal gape, right, right? Finn, right? Fucking tard. lol

    • Cassie mendoza
      March 21, 2018 at 9:27 am

      You sound dumb bro . Why are you bringing my name into this bullshit ? What exactly do i have to do with this ? Oh that’s right absolutely fucking nothing . You’re probably a drug addict yourself . You should look forward into getting a life instead mentioning peoples names in bullshit where it doesn’t fucking belong . I have nothing to do with him nor his actions . I could really give a fuck less . Post your real name you little bitch .

  • Proud Mainlander
    March 21, 2018 at 2:15 am

    Blow up those bridges over the canal and declare Cape Crud to be a foreign country.
    Skinners and druggies all over that shithole. Irredeemably corrupted, it needs to be cleansed by something like a neutron bomb.

    • Clam Shack
      March 21, 2018 at 9:30 am

      No, the only parts of the Cape that actually suck are Hyannis, Dennis and Yarmouth.

      If you want to solve the problems on the Cape, start with sending ICE there to get the fucking illegals out, then do mandatory drug testing for welfare and EBT. Problem solved.

  • Chuck
    March 21, 2018 at 12:57 am

    Has EBT written all over himself to start with.

  • Wwy
    March 21, 2018 at 12:47 am

    Play the Jew card it’s ok our military uses the Jew card too. He should sign up.

  • Rufus Lee King
    March 21, 2018 at 12:38 am

    This is why I work under the table. I’ll never pay taxes again as long as scum like this keeps getting welfare.

  • #teenspickwinners
    March 21, 2018 at 12:25 am

    I dated a guy years ago that had 24 DUIs, 24! They still would give him his license after 2-3 months in jail, time served, whatever. I finally gave him the boot back in 98 after I found out he was fighting my dog, that was the last straw, and he moved to Texas. This winner got arrested 9 more times for DUI then busted by DHS for smuggling illegals across the boarder, he finally was put somewhere he should’ve been many DUIs ago. Unfortunately, he’s out after only 2 years for human smuggling and to this day his rap sheet is the longest I’ve seen, I didn’t count the petty crimes and the domestic violence arrests, he never served time for any of those. He’s now in his late 40s, lives in Florida, and has his license once again. I’d gladly pay taxes for him to be in jail for life than out and committing crimes and endangering the public. This guy needs to rot in a cell like my ex should be, makes no sense why both of them are free to do as they please!

  • Turtle mobile
    March 21, 2018 at 12:15 am

    Christian morecraft… still banging out those OUIs. Went from ufc to hanging with losers. Tucker, still doing what tucker does. Another day in the hood 

  • Buck Tuck
    March 21, 2018 at 12:02 am

    ”Tucker”….lived up to your name. Psycho eyes…

    • GingyKidd
      March 21, 2018 at 12:09 am

      Mydriasis (/mɪˈdraɪ.əsɪs/) is the dilation of the pupil, usually having a non-physiological cause,[1] or sometimes a physiological pupillary response.[2] Non-physiological causes of mydriasis include disease, trauma, or the use of drugs.

      • panzer9811
        March 21, 2018 at 7:09 am

        I’ll take “drugs” for $1,000, Alex.

  • Buck Tuck
    March 21, 2018 at 12:01 am

    ”Tucker”….lived up to your name. 

  • just passing thru
    March 20, 2018 at 11:12 pm

    41 prior what? An arrest in and of itself is not proof of guilt, but let us assume for the sake of conversation that out of 41 prior arrests, prior charges, whatever, that 25% were legit charges that were provable beyond a reasonable doubt. Police will pile charges on to an arrest, then the ADA will bargain with them…. drop charge X, or CWOF charge X if you plead guilty to charge A, B, and C.

    And there is the problem… too many CWOF’s, too many suspended sentences, and not enough people getting three hots and a cot.

    Even if 10 of the 41 priors were slam dunk convictions, why is he walking among us?

    ;

  • Bleh
    March 20, 2018 at 10:54 pm

    Grrross

  • Uncle Randy
    March 20, 2018 at 10:47 pm

    What’s Mason trying to say at the end there? I see something about 2014 but that’s all I’m getting out of it.

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