Hoodrat Heroes

You Know Summer Is Coming When Grafton Hill Barbershops Are Getting Shot Up, No One’s Talking, And Rap Video Beef Is Off The Charts

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Ya know the summer’s coming in Worcester once the Woo’s finest start shooting each other on Grafton Hill:

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It’s also the time of year when Joe Petty comes out of hibernation, and Jim McGovern yanks on the cord in his back and gets him to say, “Our streets are safe.” And by “streets,” he means Salisbury Street, and by “our” he means “me and all my white friends.”

Anyway, if your barbershop is called “Who’s Next,” and it’s on Grafton Hill, then there’s a 99.9% chance there will be a shooting there at some point. That’s just a scientific fact. Anyone who didn’t see this one coming hasn’t been paying attention. Grafton Hill has more barbershops than it does high school diplomas. And you drive by these places and none of them ever seem to be getting much business. Gee, I wonder why. Remember last month when Turtleboy’s street cred was affirmed after we got a shoutout in our first gangsta rap video:

Is that your barbershop or your Mom’s shop. All I gotta say is keep it calm, before my shooters run up in that bitch and drag your Mom’s out.”

We want nothing to do with any sort of gang feud. We were just happy that we got the holler over the Telegram when it comes to reporting on Worcester gangland activity. But a bunch of people emailed us and informed us that the reference to the barbershop, and “your Mom’s shop,” was about a woman named Melissa Watson, who led some sort of peace rally this past summer. Her barbershop’s Facebook page also shares a lot of these rap videos:


A barbershop releasing rap videos is like a bunch of fat Italian guys reading the paper at rubbish removal landfill. Couldn’t make it more obvious. One of these videos was released by her son, and was entitled “Ready for War,” which is an unfortunate song title when your Mom is claiming to be a peace activist:


As you can see from that video, they are clearly ready for war. Ya know, because of all the guns and references to death for those who cross them. So yea, we were actually surpised it took this long for someone to get shot at a barbershop. I mean, they’ve been announcing it on Youtube for months now.

Here’s the thing – Turtleboy likes rap music. But we just don’t understand why it has to be so violent. I mean, Common, Talib Kweli, and even Kanye freaking West, have managed to make millions of dollars selling songs and albums about activism, going to college, and the plight of the every day working man in the hood. Seems like a good way to improve the image of the rap industry. Or just keep rapping about killing each other. Whatever you think is more productive.

Of course the least surprising part about this whole unfortunate event is that no one is talking. Obviously. Snitching is wack. It even says so on the t-shirts. And we have no problem with that either. Look, the fact of the matter is that this is not going anywhere. There will always be gangs and they will always be shooting at each other, and ain’t no one ever gonna be speaking to the po-lice. So what we need to do is give them a designated area where they can shoot with impunity. We won’t waste our resources investigating it, because clearly no one is talking anyway.

I say this because my biggest problem with this recent shooting is that it happened on a busy street, right near Grafton Street Elementary School, and RIGHT AFTER school was released. We can’t be having that. We can’t be mixing the Wild West and civilization. Like I said, I realize that it’s futile to try to stop gangland shootings, but what we should be doing is making sure it’s not happening on Hamilton Street.

So where they gonna go? We propose Beacon Street, or the railroad tracks down behind Canterbury Street. There’s plenty of filth, vacant buildings, and broken dreams over there. There’s no schools, no one lives there, and there’s no traffic. Whatever happens, happens. They’re just not allowed to do shoot anywhere outside of that area. I’m 99% sure we could get them all to agree on this too, so let’s make it happen.



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43 Comment(s)
  • Joe Max
    April 19, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    These Mensa members are highly-spirited, to say the least.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    April 19, 2016 at 6:35 am

    Hmm can’t reply?

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 19, 2016 at 6:37 am

      I’m married BobnMjc and I’m “almost” sure my husband wouldn’t approve. I’m sure he thinks about getting rid of me on days I annoy him. Then he comes to his senses and realizes he would have to cook, clean, and do laundry on his own…. hahahaha! I pretty much sealed myself a permanent spot here!

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        April 19, 2016 at 6:39 am

        Plus I don’t complain when he doesn’t flush… well not to him anyway, in my brain I’m all, “This fucking guy again….”

        • BobnMic
          April 19, 2016 at 2:46 pm

          He’s a lucky man.

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            April 19, 2016 at 3:46 pm

            Aw thanks! 🙂

  • streetsiswatching
    April 18, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    Ras is right…those shops are 100% fronts. Really think about what you see as you drive by: thugs standing around, thugs coming in and out, and yeah ok, the occasional shape up, lol. One lap around Worcester and anyone can see the fellas #1 concern is not proper grooming. Its about to be the Summer o’ Love Part 2 unless the cops sweep these fu*k boys. And if there’s one thing we know about Worcester thugs, they sing like tweetie birds. Do some sweeps, grab the rats, and repeat.

    • Frank
      April 19, 2016 at 6:19 am

      Time for a Turtleboy Tour of these illustrious shops, with pix and documentation of ownership. Or even apply to open one yourself, see what kind of graft goes into such a venture.

  • Reddog
    April 18, 2016 at 9:31 pm

    Testing again

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 18, 2016 at 9:39 pm

      Not working for me 75% of the time…

      • BobnMic
        April 18, 2016 at 10:23 pm

        See – so I’m not that nuts. Well mostly not. Ok mostly nuts. All right already I’m a NUT JOB! The end! Lol.

      • BobnMic
        April 19, 2016 at 1:12 am

        So when do WE get to hang out? Just a, you know, a little innocent question as far as I know as far as innocent questions go.

        • BobnMic's Asshole is Jealous of His Mouth
          April 19, 2016 at 4:57 pm

          Puttin the moves on Bobby?

  • Mike
    April 18, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    looks like they just had the retaliation shooting at Chrystal park.

  • duh!
    April 18, 2016 at 3:21 pm

    “right near Grafton Street Elementary School” – Um, yeah, seven blocks away.

    • Wabbitt
      April 20, 2016 at 12:13 pm

      Because kids don’t walk more than seven blocks to get home. They all live within six blocks of the school.

  • juror seven
    April 18, 2016 at 7:39 am

    Perhaps it’s turtleboy’s mother attempting to get him to clean up the act.

  • juror seven
    April 18, 2016 at 7:37 am

    Reminds me of the piece that Natile Jacobson did on Channel 5 calling out WEEI for calling out The Boston Globe. The battle between class and crass.

  • juror seven
    April 18, 2016 at 7:33 am

    I know what BobnMic is talking about.

  • Nai
    April 18, 2016 at 7:00 am

    Major Bunny Colvin tried that on “The Wire” lol. Designated vice areas…. seemed to work for a little while and his citizens felt safe!

  • Nope
    April 18, 2016 at 6:45 am

    My comments won’t post either

    Canterbury st elementary school

  • BobnMic
    April 18, 2016 at 1:51 am

    Oh and for the record? I lost MY mind a long time ago snapperhead.

  • Carlo's Daddy
    April 18, 2016 at 12:35 am

    Ummmm, BobnMic seems to be losing his mind…..right in front of our eyes….

    • BobnMic
      April 18, 2016 at 1:47 am

      Ya go high five yourself you fucking idiot.

  • BobnMic
    April 18, 2016 at 12:09 am

    That was supposed to be one post and it wouldn’t post. WTF?

  • BobnMic
    April 18, 2016 at 12:03 am

    If it’s a website problem then get it fucking fixed already.

    • April 18, 2016 at 8:58 am

      No idea what you’re talking about my friend. The only comments that get rejected according to our settings are ones with links in them so people don’t attack us with Rex Ryan pornogrpahy. We will check it out. In the mean time, enjoy this free blog that you get to read every day.

      • $8 server
        April 18, 2016 at 10:00 am

        Bobs right. 1/2 the comments are not posting.

      • BobnMic
        April 18, 2016 at 10:29 pm

        I do enjoy it TB I’m saying I do not. It’s just that you bring up interesting topics that other news outlets do not or refuse to do and some of us would love to chime in. That’s all and keep up the good work. Signed, BobnMic – a fan.

        • BobnMic
          April 18, 2016 at 10:30 pm

          *not saying I meant

          • BobnMic
            April 18, 2016 at 11:03 pm

            Thank you for looking into it TB. That’s all we are asking for. Oh and thank you for the smug afterthought on how fucking lucky I am to read your “free” blog. That was an asshole thing to say to a loyal fan you fucking dipshit. Get a fucking clue will you?

            My purpose was to look out after the turtle riders that give a shit and you hand me this. Seriously?

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      April 18, 2016 at 12:34 pm

      You ok Bob? Need a drink? It’s 5pm somewhere!

  • BobnMic
    April 18, 2016 at 12:02 am

    That is not what this is supposed to be all about.

  • BobnMic
    April 18, 2016 at 12:02 am

    Either shut this fucking comment thing down or stop censoring what people post.

  • BobnMic
    April 17, 2016 at 11:52 pm

    I choose not to get haircuts. Boom – problem solved.

    • BobnMic
      April 18, 2016 at 12:01 am

      So ok so with this whole people can’t post comments half of the fucking time?

    • April 18, 2016 at 11:28 am

      Do you still get your pubes styled though?

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        April 18, 2016 at 12:33 pm

        Is that new thing these days?

        “Good morning sir, would you like the Clive Dreadlocks or a simple side comb?”

  • wesawbearsonce
    April 17, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    this sort of nonsense never happened at Walt’s Barbershop!!

    • LOL
      April 18, 2016 at 9:22 am

      No it never happened there because Walt wouldn’t allow and John well is John… he enjoys a different type of fun. Grafton Hill is not what it was 10-15-20 years ago. I grew up here and I worry for my family that still lives there.

  • UsualSuspect
    April 17, 2016 at 11:34 pm

    I repost:
    A shooting outside a barbershop? Victims not cooperating? SHOCKER. Must be the barber school to prison pipeline going on. And here I was thinking they were all turning their lives around.

    • Ras Babo
      April 18, 2016 at 8:55 am

      These places are FRONTS. The silly city COULD shut these places down because they need a license FROM the city to operate.
      Could is the operative word. For SOME reason, no one can see that these shops are nothing but fronts. Its a place for gangbangers to hide in plain sight.

      • Ras Babo
        April 18, 2016 at 9:04 am

        TB: you should shread your own rap video, standing in front of an 88 Olds Cutless Cierra with a jar of Bud Light spiliing around in the Pearl – Elm parking garage.

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