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Ya know the summer’s coming in Worcester once the Woo’s finest start shooting each other on Grafton Hill:
It’s also the time of year when Joe Petty comes out of hibernation, and Jim McGovern yanks on the cord in his back and gets him to say, “Our streets are safe.” And by “streets,” he means Salisbury Street, and by “our” he means “me and all my white friends.”
Anyway, if your barbershop is called “Who’s Next,” and it’s on Grafton Hill, then there’s a 99.9% chance there will be a shooting there at some point. That’s just a scientific fact. Anyone who didn’t see this one coming hasn’t been paying attention. Grafton Hill has more barbershops than it does high school diplomas. And you drive by these places and none of them ever seem to be getting much business. Gee, I wonder why. Remember last month when Turtleboy’s street cred was affirmed after we got a shoutout in our first gangsta rap video:
“Is that your barbershop or your Mom’s shop. All I gotta say is keep it calm, before my shooters run up in that bitch and drag your Mom’s out.”
We want nothing to do with any sort of gang feud. We were just happy that we got the holler over the Telegram when it comes to reporting on Worcester gangland activity. But a bunch of people emailed us and informed us that the reference to the barbershop, and “your Mom’s shop,” was about a woman named Melissa Watson, who led some sort of peace rally this past summer. Her barbershop’s Facebook page also shares a lot of these rap videos:
A barbershop releasing rap videos is like a bunch of fat Italian guys reading the paper at rubbish removal landfill. Couldn’t make it more obvious. One of these videos was released by her son, and was entitled “Ready for War,” which is an unfortunate song title when your Mom is claiming to be a peace activist:
As you can see from that video, they are clearly ready for war. Ya know, because of all the guns and references to death for those who cross them. So yea, we were actually surpised it took this long for someone to get shot at a barbershop. I mean, they’ve been announcing it on Youtube for months now.
Here’s the thing – Turtleboy likes rap music. But we just don’t understand why it has to be so violent. I mean, Common, Talib Kweli, and even Kanye freaking West, have managed to make millions of dollars selling songs and albums about activism, going to college, and the plight of the every day working man in the hood. Seems like a good way to improve the image of the rap industry. Or just keep rapping about killing each other. Whatever you think is more productive.
Of course the least surprising part about this whole unfortunate event is that no one is talking. Obviously. Snitching is wack. It even says so on the t-shirts. And we have no problem with that either. Look, the fact of the matter is that this is not going anywhere. There will always be gangs and they will always be shooting at each other, and ain’t no one ever gonna be speaking to the po-lice. So what we need to do is give them a designated area where they can shoot with impunity. We won’t waste our resources investigating it, because clearly no one is talking anyway.
I say this because my biggest problem with this recent shooting is that it happened on a busy street, right near Grafton Street Elementary School, and RIGHT AFTER school was released. We can’t be having that. We can’t be mixing the Wild West and civilization. Like I said, I realize that it’s futile to try to stop gangland shootings, but what we should be doing is making sure it’s not happening on Hamilton Street.
So where they gonna go? We propose Beacon Street, or the railroad tracks down behind Canterbury Street. There’s plenty of filth, vacant buildings, and broken dreams over there. There’s no schools, no one lives there, and there’s no traffic. Whatever happens, happens. They’re just not allowed to do shoot anywhere outside of that area. I’m 99% sure we could get them all to agree on this too, so let’s make it happen.
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43 Comment(s)
These Mensa members are highly-spirited, to say the least.
Hmm can’t reply?
I’m married BobnMjc and I’m “almost” sure my husband wouldn’t approve. I’m sure he thinks about getting rid of me on days I annoy him. Then he comes to his senses and realizes he would have to cook, clean, and do laundry on his own…. hahahaha! I pretty much sealed myself a permanent spot here!
Plus I don’t complain when he doesn’t flush… well not to him anyway, in my brain I’m all, “This fucking guy again….”
He’s a lucky man.
Aw thanks! 🙂
Ras is right…those shops are 100% fronts. Really think about what you see as you drive by: thugs standing around, thugs coming in and out, and yeah ok, the occasional shape up, lol. One lap around Worcester and anyone can see the fellas #1 concern is not proper grooming. Its about to be the Summer o’ Love Part 2 unless the cops sweep these fu*k boys. And if there’s one thing we know about Worcester thugs, they sing like tweetie birds. Do some sweeps, grab the rats, and repeat.
Time for a Turtleboy Tour of these illustrious shops, with pix and documentation of ownership. Or even apply to open one yourself, see what kind of graft goes into such a venture.
Testing again
Not working for me 75% of the time…
See – so I’m not that nuts. Well mostly not. Ok mostly nuts. All right already I’m a NUT JOB! The end! Lol.
So when do WE get to hang out? Just a, you know, a little innocent question as far as I know as far as innocent questions go.
Puttin the moves on Bobby?
looks like they just had the retaliation shooting at Chrystal park.
Shocking
“right near Grafton Street Elementary School” – Um, yeah, seven blocks away.
Because kids don’t walk more than seven blocks to get home. They all live within six blocks of the school.
Perhaps it’s turtleboy’s mother attempting to get him to clean up the act.
Reminds me of the piece that Natile Jacobson did on Channel 5 calling out WEEI for calling out The Boston Globe. The battle between class and crass.
I know what BobnMic is talking about.
Major Bunny Colvin tried that on “The Wire” lol. Designated vice areas…. seemed to work for a little while and his citizens felt safe!
My comments won’t post either
Canterbury st elementary school
Oh and for the record? I lost MY mind a long time ago snapperhead.
Ummmm, BobnMic seems to be losing his mind…..right in front of our eyes….
Ya go high five yourself you fucking idiot.
That was supposed to be one post and it wouldn’t post. WTF?
If it’s a website problem then get it fucking fixed already.
No idea what you’re talking about my friend. The only comments that get rejected according to our settings are ones with links in them so people don’t attack us with Rex Ryan pornogrpahy. We will check it out. In the mean time, enjoy this free blog that you get to read every day.
Bobs right. 1/2 the comments are not posting.
I do enjoy it TB I’m saying I do not. It’s just that you bring up interesting topics that other news outlets do not or refuse to do and some of us would love to chime in. That’s all and keep up the good work. Signed, BobnMic – a fan.
*not saying I meant
Thank you for looking into it TB. That’s all we are asking for. Oh and thank you for the smug afterthought on how fucking lucky I am to read your “free” blog. That was an asshole thing to say to a loyal fan you fucking dipshit. Get a fucking clue will you?
My purpose was to look out after the turtle riders that give a shit and you hand me this. Seriously?
You ok Bob? Need a drink? It’s 5pm somewhere!
That is not what this is supposed to be all about.
Either shut this fucking comment thing down or stop censoring what people post.
I choose not to get haircuts. Boom – problem solved.
So ok so with this whole people can’t post comments half of the fucking time?
Do you still get your pubes styled though?
Is that new thing these days?
“Good morning sir, would you like the Clive Dreadlocks or a simple side comb?”
this sort of nonsense never happened at Walt’s Barbershop!!
No it never happened there because Walt wouldn’t allow and John well is John… he enjoys a different type of fun. Grafton Hill is not what it was 10-15-20 years ago. I grew up here and I worry for my family that still lives there.
I repost:
A shooting outside a barbershop? Victims not cooperating? SHOCKER. Must be the barber school to prison pipeline going on. And here I was thinking they were all turning their lives around.
These places are FRONTS. The silly city COULD shut these places down because they need a license FROM the city to operate.
Could is the operative word. For SOME reason, no one can see that these shops are nothing but fronts. Its a place for gangbangers to hide in plain sight.
TB: you should shread your own rap video, standing in front of an 88 Olds Cutless Cierra with a jar of Bud Light spiliing around in the Pearl – Elm parking garage.