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What a year it’s been for Turtleboy Sports. Over 20 million page views and counting. We started the year with about 21,000 Facebook followers. And despite three separate 30 day suspensions that number has doubled to 42,000. We’ve also got two backup pages with over 10,000 followers each when our primary pages are suspended. We’ve been featured on every major radio station in the Boston, Worcester, and Springfield areas, linked by major media outlets, and widely recognized as the only reliable media outlet in Massachusetts. We are an unstoppable force of nature, and we will not be defeated.
So what is Turtleboy Sports? We get that question a lot. Are we a news outlet or entertainment? The answer is, both. We’ve broken some major stories this year.
- We were the first media outlet to report the name of the man (Jorge Zambrano) who killed Officer Ronald Tarentino.
- We were the first to announce when he was killed.
- We broke the story about the corrupt daughter of a retired judge who continued to work in the probation department despite giving up names of informants to her criminal friends, and dating the brother of the cop killer.
- We were relentless in our coverage with the Spencer-East Brookfield schools, which culminated in a peaceful overthrow of School Committee chairman Kevin Hayes.
- We dug and we dug and we dug until we found proof that Mosaic Cultural Complex was paying its employees to do NOTHING, which forced the City Council to finally cut off funding for the fraudulent non-profit.
We also broke a buttload of other stories as well. But at the same time, Turtleboy lives to entertain. This is why you come here. And we do that by shaming people who have earned the shaming. Because sometimes people just wanna have a good ol’ fashioned laugh. Lots of people don’t like this because for years we’ve let them control the narrative. But not any more. From now on when you act like a fool in public, you will be publicly exposed by the Turtle.
With that said, it’s time to look back at the year in Turtleboy. We will be releasing our top 100 most popular blogs, 10 blogs at a time, so you can catch up on the debauchery. Each blog will be explained briefly with a limerick. We understand that many turtle riders jumped on mid stroke, so this gives you an opportunity to catch up on what you missed……
40. Brockton Mom tries to fuck up her kid’s teacher during class – 30,807 page views
In any other place
This would be shocking
But ratchet behavior
Is standard in Brockton
39. Leominster panhandler has no chill – 31,368 page views
He’s been arrested so much
You think he would quit
But he always needs money
For the next bag of spit
38. Top 11 Reasons White Privilege is not a real thing – 31,641 page views
I really hated school
And working so hard
Where do I cash in
My white privilege card?
37. Fall River parents try to start a riot to get their kids out of school during lockdown – 32,417 page views
Some Fall River parents
Went totally beserk
The least surprising thing
Was that no one was at work
36. Grafton life coach demands that offensive blue pro-police ribbons come down because they’re racist – 32,737 page views
In the land of butthurt
It’s pretty much a given
That some precious snowflake
Gets triggered by a ribbon
35. Guessing Obama’s bracket – 34,240 page views
His picks are designed
To win the election
Too bad Hillary
Was his worst possible selection
34. Plus sized model calls the cops after being threatened for celebrating the deaths of 5 Dallas cops – 35,190 page views
To the police station
Becky did waddle
A harrowing event
For a plus sized model
33. Missing David Prouty principal randomly appears in Epcot on Facebook page – 35,469 page views
Some thought she was in China
Others said Laos
Turns out she was really
Hanging with Mickey Mouse
32. Winchendon Mom tells student her parents don’t love her and then gets in fight in school – 36,165 page views
Is classly and propper
Except for that time
She fought a kid with her daughter
31. Southbridge deadbeat Mom on SSI starts GoFundMe for boyfriend’s car – 36,539 page views
From this Southbridge clambox
We’d start a GoFundMe
To give her smallpox
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