Look who’s back in the news…..
Oh $nap, it’s 2$smoke!
The legendary leader of the 860 Money Crew, the most rugged gaggle of gringos northeastern Connecticut has ever seen. Who can forget their smash hits like “Money Callin,”
and “Big Boy Finesse,” featuring backup dancer Joey Vancellette, whose brother accurately predicted that they would be featured on Turtleboy after the siblings and the guy who slung the baby batter that spawned them were arrested for selling crack cocaine, shooting unregistered guns, and fighting the Webster cops.
Last we heard from 2$moke he was getting arrested for trying to fight state troopers who showed up to his ratchet den for a domestic call.
And yes, the Connecticut State Police did refer to him as 2$moke in their arrest report.
It appears as if 2$moke and blubber guppy he’s taking along for the roller coaster he calls life have been hanging out at the Putnam Walmart shaking down bitches for cash and threatening to kill them if they don’t pay up. So obviously it looks like he’s turned his life around.
It’s been almost two years and 2$moke has kept a relatively low profile. Then he started dating this chocolate chip cookie ho.
Out here dressing like a caramel fudge sundae.
The chocolate chip cookie ho of course already has her own vaj goblin, who appears to be 3-4 years old, and she’s 19. Naturally she had to name the kid something that rhymed with “Aidan” and spelt her own unique way, which is the most amount of time and care she’ll ever invest into this human being’s life.
I think it was a given that whoever the lucky guy is that dumped his donkey chowder into her sperm sponge, wasn’t going to stick around to rear the child. Then one day this gorgeous, successful rap superstar showed up looking for love.
What woman would ever be able to resist that?
She really misses her man keeping that fupa warm at night.
So she started a free muh 2$moke campaign.
Don’t worry Daddy, she holding it down for you. Just like she was at this time last year to the last guy who was fucking her.
As she stated, life was going great for 2$moke prior to this unfortunate incident. He got some studio time for his burgeoning solo rap career now that it appears that 860 Money Crew has disbanded due to incarceration and poverty.
She’s joined in on his growing enterprise of selling selling shitty weed to Websterites and flashing her kid’s college savings on social media.
Just kidding. We all know that poor kid ain’t going to college because Momma done spent it all on Henny.
And she covered herself in the what was left over so that 2$smoke would have somewhere to aim and redefine the meaning of “money shot.”
Since bail is only $5,000 our boy 2$moke should be able to cover that. The money be calling him all these years, it’s time he call them back. If he’s not out by then I’m sure Uncle Turtleboy would be honored to have him on the live show to discuss the details of this case and how she plans to free 2$moke.
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