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Last week we published a couple blogs about the Westerly Wank Wizard who raised $5,500 with a GoFundMe after getting high and crashing into a tree with her baby in the backseat. She responded by sharing a screenshot from a WordPress blog published by a child abusing transgender dude named Ashley who is currently trying to get a restraining order against my whole family in Providence Superior Court.

And according to her I’m a faggot that watches kiddie porn.

So yea, she’s learned absolutely nothing and we likely have not seen the last of her.

However, another person who was supporting her on our IG page went by “Ericha’s Genuine Jewelry.”

Her real name is Ericha Hauser, and she had some more to say about Turtleboy on the Facebook machine in the form of this nonsensical ratchet sentagraph.

OK then.

If the name Ericha with a CH Hauser rings a bell it might be because she’s known around here as the “Westerly Wench Trench, and was featured on a Turtleboy blog in February 2018 after she and her heroin dealing chinstrapped deadbeat dad boyfriend weren’t allowed to buy a dog off their backyard breeder friend because he was going to jail for selling heroin.

She’s back, and skankier than ever!

was

Fast forward three years and she’s no longer with Justin Varas, the guy who created a GoFundMe in his daughter’s name for cheerleading, wrote it in her voice pretending to be her, and then messaged me a staged video of her lying about creating the GFM herself on his once a month visitation day so that he could fund his heroin habit.

She’s moved onto this guy instead:

That’s Gerry Kent, a man in his mid 50’s who is basically Rhode Island’s version of Feta Cheese Freddie.

As you can see, he looks like every minor character on the Sopranos who didn’t know his place and had way too many opinions about Christopher and the way things operated and ended up getting whacked.

According to Gerry he is always pictured with hot young side pieces because he’s a “legend.”

You may be asking yourself, how did this guy acquire enough money to get all these women to sleep with him and/or pose for pictures to make it look like he was? Well, turns out he defrauded some people out of millions of dollars by pretending to be a legitimate jeweler.

He was sentenced to four years in federal prison for this in 2018, but apparently is out now because four years never actually means four years. David explained how the scheme works last night on the Live show, but basically he pretended to work for Groupon and Zullilly, opened bank accounts in their names, and sold a debt collection company fake invoices for jewelry he never sold, totaling nearly $5 million.

Kent had been doing business with a Chicago-based factoring company, a third party company that offers business capital in exchange for buying unpaid invoices at a discount. He submitted fake invoices to the company that resulted in him receiving payments totaling nearly $5 million dollars. According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Rhode Island, in order to pull off this fraud, he created and used a fraudulent copy of Groupon’s website, asked accomplices to pose as Groupon employees, and opened bank accounts in the names of Groupon and Zulily to deceive the debtor finance company into believing it was receiving payments from these companies.

Now he’s out of jail and immediately found an albino crackhead barbie for a girlfriend, and you’ll never guess what she’s selling on Facebook.

Jewelry of course. And she thanked her new sugar Daddy for giving her the push and the confidence to sell her shitty jewelry on Etsy.

Oh, and she’s hiring models now too, including kids.

Who wouldn’t wanna bring their child around a woman who’s been featured multiple times on Turtleboy, is fluent in Ratchetese, and whose last two boyfriends include a heroin dealer and a man who just got out of federal prison?

Anyway, since both of these chicks have a lot to say about me and aren’t shy I would like to officially welcome them to come on the live show Sunday night (Bruins Saturday). If either of you fine young ladies wants to give me a piece of your mind face to face instead of leaving comments on our Instagram, message me on Facebook at Clarence Woods Emerson and we can make that happen.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: