All-Star Criminals

Bohemian Butt Monkey’s Instaslampig Girlfriend Won’t Tolerate You Badmouthing Her Man Who Got Shot By Salem Police After Trying To Run Them Over, Crashing, And Jumping Into The Ocean


Fox 25 NewsOne person was shot by police in Salem early Wednesday after allegedly trying to run over two police officers who approached his parked car, according to an arrest report. Salem Police Sgt. Michael Dunn said officers on routine patrol on Congress Street around 1 a.m., near Shetland Park, approached a car in the parking lot and the driver attempted to run the officers over. One officer, identified only as Officer Musto, fired his gun and hit the car, grazing the suspect in the arm, according to court documents. The man, later identified as Austin Boga, then drove away, before eventually crashing his car on Peabody Street and then fleeing on foot along the Salem Harbor waterfront, Dunn said. Boga was then cornered by other officers and jumped into the harbor to evade them, Dunn said, before eventually surrendering to police. He was taken to a local hospital for the wound on his arm, but was released in time for arraignment. Two police officers were also transported to a local hospital to be checked for injuries, Dunn said, but will be O.K.

According to court documents, the officers who initially approached Boga in his car said they thought he was overdosing.  State police detectives were at the scene early Wednesday as is standard in officer-involved shootings. The name of the officer who fired at the man has not been released. Boga has been charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, assault with a dangerous weapon, failure to stop for police, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, negligent operation of a motor vehicle, leaving the scene, speeding, stop sign violation and marked lanes violation. 

Varone said Boga was extremely angry when taken to Salem Hospital, screaming and swearing at officers and telling one officer who tried to read him his rights to “go (expletive) yourself,” referring to the officer as a “pig.” Boga’s mother and the mother of his fiancee, as well as a younger woman who did not identify herself, were present in court, but verbally lashed out at reporters when asked if they wanted to talk about what had happened to him.  

Cool haircut bro.

Homeboy here tried to run over a cop who was trying to help him out because he thought he was an overcooked junkie, terrified half the city of Salem during peak tourist season by smashing into cars to run away from the cops, jumped into the Goddamn ocean in late October, begged for the cops to save his life, then called the cops pigs after he tried to kill them.

Not his fault though – he just hates traffic.

He’s previously been arrested for sucker punching a bouncer.

While Miglionico was struggling with the first bouncer, a second bouncer tried to assist. That’s when, police say, Boga jumped into the fray, sucker punching the second bouncer on the side of his head. The blow shattered that bouncer’s eye socket and cheekbone, police said, and sent him to the pavement, where he struck his head. He suffered a concussion and a 3 1/2-inch wound, police said in the report. The bouncer is still suffering visual problems and headaches, prosecutor Erin Bellavia told a judge, and has had to quit his job as a result of the attack. The investigation led him to a woman who was a friend of Boga. She eventually agreed to share a series of Facebook messages in which Boga allegedly told her, “That dude that went in the ambulance. I blasted him,” and “Yeah, that dude that was under the car, that’s the dude I hit. Knocked him out 1 hit.” Bellavia, who asked Judge Emily Karstetter to set bail at $5,000, noted that Boga had just completed a term of probation in a Lynn assault and battery case on April 28. 

And he’s got a bunch of other Google trophies under his belt.

He also hates the police because he’s a well known junkie.

So I think we all can guess who his favorite sportball team is…

Never thought I’d see the day when a career criminal shitbag owned a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat. It’s so rare to see. The only thing more shocking than that would be to find out he has an affinity for pit bulls.

This Bohemian butt monkey is a walking Turtleboy stereotype. Those stereotypes exist for a reason.

Here’s the best part – the car he used for Salem bumper cars was his first car, and his girlfriend was so proud of him too.

When the high point of your relationship is when your 25 year old boyfriend bought his first car, you know you’ve set the bar high. #LifeGoals

Girlfriend is a nice piece of Peabody pie if I do say so myself.

Scissor factor seven.

Ya know she’s a classy broad because she bangs career criminals and works at Hooters.

Don’t worry donkey dick, I’m sure she’ll stay loyal to you when you’re gone for 5-10.

Homegirl has something to say too.

“People have feelings.”

Yea, that’s what matters here – hurt feelz of the guy who tried to kill cops and put the lives of innocent people in danger.

“be respectful of other people’s families and loved ones.”

Oh, you mean by NOT driving like a maniac through downtown Salem and crashing into shit during Halloween week?

Yea, the Instaslampig is the real victim here. Be mindful of her when judging the guy she chooses to fornicate with. Sounds like he really loves her too.

My advice to you is to get a new haircut quickly, because if you walk in there looking like a Frenchman you’re gonna be what Prison Mike would call “da belle of da ball.”

The only people who are gonna be playin are your cellmates with your fart box.


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37 Comment(s)
  • Cheddah
    October 31, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Janelle needs to realize that God gave her a gift, and that gift was beauty.. Unfortunately he didn’t give her any smarts to go with it.
    If she wants to live a good life she needs to dump this loser, cut off social media, and start hanging out at upscale bars so she can reel in a sugar daddy..
    Those looks do come with a shelf life and they fade faster when hanging with trash.

  • Redleg
    October 31, 2019 at 12:58 pm


    Can you please make a new category titled “Hot Chicks with Douchebags”… this would be the first entry….

    Bulls hat, CHECK
    Baggy pants, CHECK
    Pube stache, CHECK
    Flex posing and fake gang signs, CHECK

    only thing missing is a bling shirt or “tap out” shirt

  • No cushion for the pushin
    October 31, 2019 at 11:46 am

    Sorry but the chick has no ass…..probably got the disease too…..I’ll pass

    • Rod Ramsey
      October 31, 2019 at 12:12 pm

      First thing I noticed was that long ass mom butt…

  • Spic Tormentor
    October 31, 2019 at 11:23 am

    hopefully this filthy spic faggot gets the Jeffrey Dahmmer treatment in prison and his skank get’s gang raped to death by all his pals

  • Capt Stubing
    October 31, 2019 at 11:06 am

    Biggest let down here is that the cop couldn’t put one in the boiler room…

  • 1
    October 31, 2019 at 10:48 am

    This guy is a winna, she is a winna too. Um, ok, um, bye.

  • Guillaume Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive
    October 31, 2019 at 10:40 am

    Casse-toi! Il n’est pas Francais; il est un douche espagnole. Allez vous faire un foutre, fille du tortue en rive sud!

  • Bwaaaaaat
    October 31, 2019 at 9:41 am

    Any of you loswers that dont have jobs are still singing 9 to 5 while you stumble to the kitchen to pour yourselves a cup of ambition. Heart like an overcooked pork tenderloin. Bwaaaat. Bwaaaaat.

    • Confused
      October 31, 2019 at 11:36 am

      What language is this?

    • Surprised Flapjack
      November 3, 2019 at 1:34 pm

      Wow, that was amazing.

      Just a bunch of words strung together, and I didn’t even get the gist, but man that was comedy gold. It’s like a schizophrenic toddler learned to type.

      • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
        Luke Fondleberg
        November 4, 2019 at 2:08 am

        Such is the curse of Talk to Text.

  • hartf811
    L is 4 loser
    October 31, 2019 at 8:27 am

    You’re 25, have a plastic dim bulb girlfriend with drawn-on eyebrows, you’re driving a Toyota Camry in go-to-jail red on payments guaranteed by Moms and proud of it?
    Is there any wonder you shoot heroin alone?

  • The Vorlon
    Kosh Naranek
    October 31, 2019 at 8:20 am

    Should have just left him in the harbor. Hypothermia would have taken care of him in about 15 minutes, if the blood in the water didn’t attract a shark…

  • Roger
    October 31, 2019 at 7:44 am

    Why do we shout sick and injured animals but not junkies? They’re already dead anyway … asking for a friend

  • Yuck
    October 31, 2019 at 7:41 am

    That broad is a beard. The “dude” is a pole smoking faggot who keeps the broad on retainer for his street cred. The only ass that motherfucker gets is the type you would get at rest stops.
    The bigger problem here is the obvious decline of intelligence in the world. The last few decades saw a major increase in shit heads and shit heads committing crimes. Look at this fag’s pictures. This is far from normal activity yet the fag celebrates being a shit head. I think after a few more decades, this county will be filled with fags like him and skanks like her.

  • Peter Dautel
    Dem Brows
    October 31, 2019 at 6:36 am

    Uh, she’s a known “side money” maker…. and verify TB….

    • Dr. Gregory House
      November 3, 2019 at 1:42 pm

      Thanx for the link!!!!!

  • phillip j mckracken
    Phillip McKracken
    October 31, 2019 at 6:35 am

    The first 147 grain jhp pill was slightly off it’s mark. Too bad. Maybe someone could prescribe another?

    p.s. Walter Bird is still a creep

    • pew-pew
      October 31, 2019 at 10:00 am

      …ever see the show “justified” where the good guy tosses some low level stupid bad guy a bullet and says “next one’s coming faster”. best line in any tv series. ever.

      seems like this hardo would be an excellent candidate for a little game of guess the feet per second catch.

      little raylan givens/elmore leonard in the law enforcement world wouldn’t be a bad thing…we’ve about outlawed the natural selection process of nitwit criminals.

  • Chester the Fupa Molester
    October 31, 2019 at 6:24 am

    The more I look at his “Girlfriend” the more I’m convinced it’s a fucking Tranny.

  • Juris Prudence
    October 31, 2019 at 5:01 am

    Rachel Rollins will see he is let go with time served. Douche will be out before the weekend.

  • Bitch Tits
    October 31, 2019 at 4:53 am

    What’s really unfortunate here is that this cunt didn’t drown when he jumped in the harbor.

  • Soccer Mom Haircut
    October 31, 2019 at 4:20 am

    He will be back on the street with zero time served, it’s Massachusetts, illegals and criminals are like free range chickens they’re never locked up here. The girl is a smoke show minus the eyebrows of course, she can’t be from Massachusetts though she doesn’t weigh 364 pounds. All that beauty and she hooks up with a loser Diego a low life convict. If she only had a brain.

    • ncfoothillbilly
      October 31, 2019 at 8:54 am

      Dedicated to these two idiots…

  • MrSmiley
    October 31, 2019 at 4:13 am

    Judge: What say you on these charges?

    Junkbox: B b b b buuut the diseeaaseee….

    Judge: Ahhh you’re a good kid. 3 year probation, no gps, with time served….

    Fuuuuck Mass.

  • Mrs Boga
    October 31, 2019 at 1:51 am

    Looks like birds of a feather, stupid runs in the family. Wonder if Austin got his drugs from his older bro Dylan. You know, the same one that was picked up by SPD just over 90 minutes after last call on st Patrick’s day passed out in a running car with 30 grams of coke.

    Passed out dumbasses with douchey hair. Stupidity really is genetic.

    • Crystal Laviolette
      Mrs Boga’s Neighbor
      October 31, 2019 at 3:19 am

      Dylan has even more google trophies than that. Also, dad died suddenly in 2006. Bunch of kids and no daddy figure. Momma did amazing job of raising her crotch fruit.

  • Not a Jewish girl
    October 31, 2019 at 1:14 am

    See the difference. Jewface Katie hill vs. normal people,lol.

  • Thanos
    October 30, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    He got hit in the arm? Too bad. Should’ve gone for the head.

  • Hits all the check boxes
    October 30, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    Google trophies, check
    Bathroom selfies, check
    Flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat, hella check!

  • Said Nobody
    October 30, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    Such a nice couple. Very bright future ahead for them

  • soxrock191
    October 30, 2019 at 11:05 pm

    He looks like a frenchman hahahahahahaha omg too funny! Thanks for making me laugh again tonight…. I LOVED “African Abrhams” too!

  • Stiff pete
    October 30, 2019 at 10:59 pm

    the gf is good looking but she lost points for those huge sharpie eyebrows. Austin is definitely going to have his butthole stitched back together because he’s going to be someone’s bitch.

  • Jeff J
    Johnny Jerko
    October 30, 2019 at 10:43 pm

    Oh man there’s just so much…..

    I’d be willing to bet that most turtle riders probably got their first car around 16, 17 or 18. Who the fuck celebrates getting a car at 25. That’s just pathetic really. Instapig’s got ratchet written all over her and looks like a fucking flamingo, minus the pretty color. And when the fuck did it become cool for skinny white dudes to throw around the “N” word?? You look and sound STUPID!!

    • White Hispanic No
      October 31, 2019 at 2:27 am

      He is not white but he is a FILTHY SPIC

    • Xhovana
      May 29, 2021 at 1:03 am

      His girlfriend looks nothing like this in real life serious editing and very talented makeup artist. But with out 70% of that make up on no one would look twice so no need to give him credit for that white board she’s less than average with no make up. Coming from someone who knows poor girl just guilable but doesn’t deserve that shit bag.

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