All-Star Criminals

Chicken Bacon Ratchet Walks Off Minimum Security Prison Work Detail And Runs To Lawrence, Cops Raid Baby Momma’s Crib Looking For Him But Find Fentanyl Instead

Chicken Bacon Ratchet Walks Off Minimum Security Prison Work Detail And Runs To Lawrence, Cops Raid Baby Momma’s Crib Looking For Him But Find Fentanyl Instead

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Back in November of 2016 Rony Martinez-Pereyra of Cranston, RI was given a 10 year sentence (3 years to serve and 7 years probation after release) after being found guilty on a multitude of charges including violent crimes, manufacturing, possession with intent to deliver narcotics and possession of an illegal firearm. This upstanding citizen also uses multiple aliases including “Thomas Cotto” and “Genaro Morant”.


On March 2nd, just 4 months into his sentence at the Adult Correctional Institution in Cranston, Rony decided this new concept of “work” just wasn’t cutting it and took off on foot during a minimum security work detail. Why this scumbag was under minimum security and allowed the opportunity to skip town so easily is beyond me, but apparently this 44-year-old sack of shit still has the stamina to outrun authorities and go on the lam.

On March 2nd the Cranston police decided to check in with Rony’s smokeshow homeslice, Yuderka Fernandez, at 85 Lawrence Street in Cranston where she lives with her 60-year-old parents (shocker) hoping they’d find Rony hiding out.


Upon arrival, Yuderkas’ mother Virgen Fernandez met with officers and allowed them to search the residence. While Pereyra was nowhere to be found, police DID find half a kilo of fentanyl, 2 pounds of weed, and 16 pot plants. Yuderka, her mother Virgen Fernandez and her daddio Francisco Fernandez-Garcia were arrested, arraigned the next day at Third District Court in Warwick on March 3, and released.

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Apparently charges are pending until toxicology confirms that the fentanyl is, in fact, fentanyl. I’m glad the three of them were processed so quickly and can return to their regularly scheduled program of pushing dope. Their pre-paid Net10 voicemail boxes were probably jammed full of voicemails from local junkies wondering what happened to their connections. Alas, all is right again on the streets of Cranston.

Meanwhile, Rony didn’t take very long to truck it up to Massachusetts where he was hiding out in, you guessed it!, the pristine city of Lawrence. Police had been searching Lawtown for about a week after being tipped off that Pereyra has family living in the area. He was found and arrested in the 100 block of Oxford street on Tuesday afternoon.


Turtleboy followers will remember this neighborhood after the arrest of Andrew McGratty, the shitstain from Manchester, NH who decided not to listen to Lawrence Sgt. Aguilar during a traffic stop and got himself locked up. McGratty then went on to knock himself out on the ground after having a seizure on the sidewalk at Lawrence Superior court just after his arraignment and was given CPR by the same cop he was shit talking for arresting him in the first place:

Listen, if you’re going to run from the police and cross into Massachusetts maybe you should opt for a city where you don’t have known family ties. Head on over to Lowell and find some hole-in-the-wall weekly rental. There are plenty of places along Bridge Street that will put you up, no questions asked and The Sworn Brothers or any other known Cambodian street gangs can point you in the right direction from there.

Anyone who lives in the Merrimack Valley knows that nothing good comes out of the areas of Oxford Street/route 28/Lowell Street. The only thing that part of Lawrence has going on is an endless supply of chop shops, places to cash checks, syringes floating over the Great Stone Dam and sidewalk cockroaches who hustle drugs. This fine neighborhood is located just a ½ mile down the road from the Lawrence Police Department. The LPD does their best to crack down on bottom feeding maggots which is why minivans full of dope-seeking out of towners and Rhode Island fentanyl pushing asshats will always check in and out of the city quicker than food stamps are sold on Facebook yard sale sites.



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9 Comment(s)
  • Sue
    March 23, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    I love this blog,I save the really good titles to read after work.steller work.God save Deskie lmfao

    • Yuderka fernandez
      April 5, 2018 at 12:59 pm

      Really you love this blog they just going on fiction not facts people there was never any fenthonal fund they wanted a bigger story and beside to say there was fenthonal just to ruin people’s life what a great job Cranston police do they find lacitive and call it fenthonal great job

  • Sue
    March 23, 2017 at 6:28 pm

    I love this blog,I safe the really good titles to read after work.steller work.

  • ElJefe72
    March 22, 2017 at 7:43 pm

    Yuderka has Down Syndrome, right?

  • Twat tickler
    March 22, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Very well written, but a “just the facts” feel to it. Rip on this fuck stick more he deserves it

  • Wabbitt
    March 22, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    Dude has more aliases than Jennifer Garner.

  • ZephyrCat
    March 22, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    I guess mamacita forgot about the fentanyl and weed. Oopsy! 1/2 a kilo??? Homemade? If so, those are either some serious cooking skills or some serious connections. But by all means liberals, make sure you keep protesting that border wall. Who would want to stop the flow of such good mexican product?

  • Barry
    March 22, 2017 at 1:17 pm

    Virgen Fernandez must be an alias because there aren’t any virgen Fernandezes over age 12.

  • Duke Westwood
    March 22, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    Yuderka is less of a smokeshow and more of a tire fire…

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