All-Star Criminals

Fuzzy Grape Felatio Bandit Says Turtleboy Visited Her At Strip Club, Is Still Doing Chew And Screws And Threatening People With Her Boyfriend Who Is Currently Incarcerated For Beating The Shit Out Of Her

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Last month we wrote about Keith Therrien and Shannon Dancause, AKA the Fuzzy Grape Felatio Bandit And The Doucherocket Currently Plowing Her, after they pulled a chew and screw at Yummy’s in Dudley:

She’s a day shift stripper at Mario’s Showplace in Wedbuh and is notorious for not paying her bills.

Even though she doesn’t seem to mind flashing cash all over Facebook.

I’d pay her $20 NOT to grind her infested stench trench on my freshly ironed jeans. Just sayin.

Well, shortly after we blogged about their chew and screw Keith Therrien did what he always does – got arrested for beating the shit out of the Fuzzy Grape Felatio Bandit…

Just before midnight, Connecticut State Police were dispatched to a report of a domestic violence incident on Wednesday, September 5th.  Troopers met with the female victim who stated  34 year old Keith Therrien had shoved her to the ground, threw items at her and spit on her before she could escape and call 911. The female victim also had an active protective order against Therrien, which was violated.  Troopers located Therrien in a residence in Thompson hiding under a pile of blankets and pillows.  He was placed under arrest and transported to the barracks of Troop D where he was charged with Violation of a Protection Order, Assault 3rd and Disorderly Conduct. Therrien was held on a $5,000 cash/surety bond and made an appearance in Danielson Superior Court today. Keith Therrien has a long criminal record, dating back to at least 2009, where he was sentenced to federal prison for his part in a drug trafficking ring, according to online reports.

Don’t worry about her though, she’ll be fine. She’s still doing what she always does – chewing and screwing at local restaurants and bars in the Thompson/Dudley/Webduh area, and it’s got some people on the lookout…..

She’s evidently none too pleased that some people don’t appreciate the fact that she’s been doing this everywhere. So naturally she has decided to threaten people with the weapon of ass destruction who is currently incarcerated for kicking the shit out of her…..

“Wait till my mans gets out of jail.”

Remind me again what he’s in jail for there Ms. Felatio Bandit?

She later amended her threat to let the haterz now that Keith wasn’t actually going to assault them too, he was just going to confiscate her phone so she didn’t get into ratchet Facebook beef 24/7:

According to some she is making slight improvements…..

She not only paid for a meal, she actually tipped 5% too. Baby steps.

According to her, the haterz really just wish they were riding the pole at the Fuzzy Grape like she gets to on Wednesday afternoons from 12-3…..

“I’m a city bitch, I’ll see you.”

Ho, you live in North Groversnerdale. The closest thing you have to city life are 860 Money Crew rap videos.

The best part about being a stripper is you don’t have to worry about losing your job because you posted ratchet shit on Facebook. Every other profession in the world would probably cut ties with you if you represented the company like this on social media. But when you’re giving $20 handjobs in the backroom of the Fuzzy Grape it doesn’t really matter what you say on the Facebook machine……

She also is making the outrageous claim that “Turtleboy” came to her work, bought her a drink, and possibly got a syphilis snail trail tattoo for the road….

For the record, no one working for Turtleboy offered Ms. Felatio Bandit a free drink. We’re really more of a Sweaty Betty’s crew. But if she wants to come on Turtleboy Live this Sunday night we’d be more than happy to discuss it with her.

17 Comment(s)
  • Let me up, I've had enough
    September 26, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    She is exactly the walking poster board for why we guys do dumb shit. We know we shouldn’t. We know she’s trouble. Yes, the chance of getting fucked over by her are highly probable. Do we care? Nope. Why? She is drop dead gorgeous and the chance to stick our dicks into something that hot is worth the subsequent consequences that may arise. Sign me up. I’ll take that gonorrea to go please.

  • Ryan
    September 26, 2018 at 10:41 am

    I’ll throw a nickle in the cup if they only fuck up half my order.

  • Hughbo Mont
    September 26, 2018 at 5:22 am

    Didn’t know you were supposed to tip at Dunkins

  • Long live Tmhs
    September 25, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    Omg! This post just made my day! Shannon fucking Dancause at it again. She is literally the biggest slut I have ever met. Even back in  her TMHS days…. Slam pig! If it’s not this Keith dude it will be another. Shes always scamming looking for the next way to score. I recall a few Christmas’s ago she claimed her ex (main daddy) Mike Fournier stole all her kids Christmas presents along with the copper pipes in her house. Total lie… But was able to use her kids to manipulate people to give her money. I’m not sure how many kids she has at this point could be 4 or 5. What a pathetic human being. I STILL CAN’T GET OVER THOSE EYEBROWS! I can just picture her running out of a restaurant today…. With all this rain… Eyebrow marker running down her face! BTW Kristen Barbour you fucking rock!  Your come backs to her were the BEST part of this whole article!

  • ncfoothillbilly
    September 25, 2018 at 5:21 pm

    The FB MENSA crew strikes again. And, um, who hides in a pile of blankets? That dude is NOT smarter than a fifth grader.

  • Mc Luvin
    September 25, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    TBS crew I’m willing to take one for the team and get a bj from said skank, while only wearing 2 condoms for a twenty or whatever. I will even tell her I’m the real TB and secretly obsessed with her, text some silly bs that only a dumbass crack-head stripper would believe. If somebody beats me to this plan, please have the decency to share the laughs on here.

    Skank with no gag reflex… nice! Take wonder skank home to momma then fuck the skank in the garage.. forgot mamma lives somewhere else and this chick isn’t the kind you let in the house… she’s an outdoor and garage skank.

  • Ebenezer Screw
    September 25, 2018 at 4:03 pm

    Not even going to lie. I’d do butt stuff with it before I kicked it out the door.

  • Shaniqua Brown
    September 25, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    Yo that hoe aint got nuthin on me cuz I hotter than a junkies spoon!

  • WeAreFucked
    September 25, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    $20 for hand? Really?
    I’d pay her 3-times that. It’d be the quickest $60 she ever made.
    What say you Shannon? $60 for 2-3 minutes work?
    Let me know. See you soon I hope. You are fucking hot as hell.

  • Bill S. Preston, ESQ
    September 25, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    Troopers located Therrien in a residence in Thompson hiding under a pile of blankets and pillows.


    Dude was hiding in a pillow fort. Sweet plan, Criminal Mastermind!

  • Hornae Olde Phart
    September 25, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Hmmm, she’s kinda hot. I’m going to make a trip to the FG one of these afternoons. Shannon, call me.

    • Julio Cuervo
      September 25, 2018 at 3:11 pm

      Head to Southbridge… 3/4 of the women look like her. The other 1/4 are attractive.

      • Captain Trips
        Captain Trips
        September 25, 2018 at 8:39 pm

        She’s a typical PR. Looking for that? Go to High Street in Holyoke and tell em you have a lowered Honda Civic at home that they can take a ride in

  • No Brown Poundtown
    September 25, 2018 at 2:11 pm

    Why does Shannon Dancause exist? Because white guys keep sticking their dicks in spic bitches.

    If you don’t want your daughter to be pregnant at 14, drop out of school and show her ass to union workers for a living, don’t fuck a spic.

    Lawrence, MA is all the proof you need.

  • randiguy2006
    September 25, 2018 at 1:54 pm

    Well…did you?

    • Bonesaw
      September 25, 2018 at 2:06 pm

      Interrupt us again while we’re sodomizing your sister and we’ll kick the shit out of you.

  • Uppity Cracker
    September 25, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    “Ho, you live in North Groversnerdale. The closest thing you have to city life are 860 Money Crew rap videos.”

    That’s the best quote I’ve ever seen on here. Just had to say.

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