All-Star Criminals

Granny McStickyfingers Is Back And She’s Robbing Bourne Non-Profit Consignment Shops Owned By Lesbian Woman She Previously Sexually Harassed


Who remembers this blast from the past?

That would be Mary Gelsthorpe, more commonly known as Granny McStickyfingers, the Cape Cod tip stealing bandit.

She of course didn’t show up for court, had a warrant out for her arrest, and has been buried in the Turtleboy Ratchet Hall of Shame ever since.

But these queefs always come back, and being elderly doesn’t make them any less ratchet because Granny McStickyfingers is up to her old tricks.

There she is! Up to her old tricks I see. She got ID’d by the senior center she’s now living at, and as luck would have it our sources tell us that the owner of the store had beef with Granny McStickyfingers in the past. She ended up getting a protective order (the boutique owner) because there’s accusations of sexual harassment towards the owner AND her wife!

Naughty Granny!! Find your own scissoring partner at the old folks home!

There’s a lot of shitheads on Cape Cod, especially in the summer. But Granny McStickyfingers just may be the Queen ratchet of all people east of the Bourne Bridge.


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13 Comment(s)
  • Grandma is a Criminal
    August 16, 2019 at 7:49 am

    I can not confirm or deny any relationship between the woman in the video and sticky fingers. Old lady baking cookies and needs help crossing the street, not so much.

  • Happy People
    August 16, 2019 at 7:39 am

    I can’t confirm or deny that this is sticky fingers sister but this woman is Masshole worthy if she only lived up my street it could fix the speeding problem.

  • Matt Lawrence
    August 16, 2019 at 1:40 am

    I want this moth ball smelling elderly fish so bad I am stroking one out right now while all masked up. Giggidy Giggidy

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    August 15, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    Take her to the beach with the shark sightings.

    Slash her legs and leave her by a group of seals

    • z
      August 15, 2019 at 9:49 pm

      That’s better than what I had. I’m going with yours. Mine was burying her up to her neck in sand and wait for high tide to take care of her. Old movie cliche.

      She’s going to pull this shit again and a store employee or owner is going to beat the crap out of her.
      Just make sure there’s a gap in the video when you give her a smack down. Make sure she’s left disfigured.

      Fuck her and fuck anyone who enables this fuck. Kick the fuck out her fucking unit at the fucking senior center.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    August 15, 2019 at 5:18 pm

    Mary is a board member of The Open Space Committee! She is a pillar of her community! So she picked up some loose change! Big deal! Lay off her!

  • Kim Wescott
    August 15, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    I cannot even imagine the shame….first, of being on TBS, but even worse would be my kids and grandchildren learning about it.

    That fear alone will keep me out of trouble.

  • randiguy2006
    August 15, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    Where’s the hot lesbian content?

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    Creed from The Office
    August 15, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    “Oh, I steal things all the time. It’s just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. Honestly, I love stealing things.”

  • Gash Basher
    August 15, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    Female Gary Busey has some cannons

    • Hugh Jassole
      August 15, 2019 at 4:16 pm

      Cannons? More like two sacks of dirty laundry.

      • ncfoothillbilly
        August 15, 2019 at 8:46 pm

        Sandbags filled with pudding…

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