All-Star Criminals

Granny McStickyfingers Didn’t Show Up For Court, Got Arrested, And Her Mugshot Is Electric

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Last month we blogged about Cape Cod’s Granny McStickyfingers, who was caught on tape stealing money from the tip jar at the Lobster Trap restaurant:

We quickly identified her as Mary Gelsthorpe of Bourne:

And as it turns out she serves on the Bourne Open Space Committee:

Well the cops knew it was her so she was summonsed to Falmouth District Court. But Granny McStickyfingers don’t play. She gangsta like that. So if 5-0 wanted her, they could come and get some. And that’s exactly what they did:

Granny McStickyfingers don’t play!! That mugshot is ELECTRIC!!

And I don’t mean that in the figurative sense. She looks like she just stuck a fork in her toaster. Who wore it better?

Funny part is that it’s been well over a month since we last heard from her and she still hasn’t taken down any comments on her Facebook Wall of Shame:

But of course the feelz patrol had to chime in with their 2 cents:

Oh calm your clit Bonnie Lou. We’re shaming her because that’s exactly what she deserves. She didn’t steal from Target, she stole directly out of a tip jar for minimum wage workers. And she’s done it at other businesses in town. What gives us the right to judge her? Oh, I dunno – freedom. Free will. The Internet. Murica. Stuff like that.

The bottom line is that public shaming works, and a great way to avoid it is to just obey the law. Or you could just keep blaming law abiding people for exercising their First Amendment rights. Whatever you feel is more productve.

19 Comment(s)
  • Melissa Garza
    April 1, 2018 at 1:57 am

    Very cool that one of my comments is up there. I’m the crazy red head who linked to the original article. Also I totally agree that scumbags need to be shamed. The problem is that so many idiots feel no shame. I’m an incest survivor and it’s been a very tough road but I knew growing up that once I was away from my father I was going to do everything I could to get well and not to burden the world with my insanity. I’m 10 years in therapy and pretty proud of who I am. I never turned to drugs or alcohol. I have bad days where I’m crying inconsolably, but I have an amazing husband that I can count on 100% of the time and he can count on me right back. Doing the right thing just because it’s the right thing (especially when it’s hard) is a credo I live by and when I see people who act so vile to other human beings, I speak up. I think speaking up is the right thing to do. If shaming people is the only way to have a civilized society, shaming people it is.

  • Tageman
    March 31, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    Shame is good thing, it used to keep people from doing stupid things like stealing from tip jars

  • JoeMomma
    March 30, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    When are we going to see some staties from F troop at the airport do the perp walk?

  • Captain Trips
    March 29, 2018 at 10:22 pm

    Mary Gelsthorpe – as in hair gel!

    Coming to a Bernie Sanders rally near you!

    Have any hair gel?

  • R
    March 29, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    I think granny is no longer dealing with a full deck..the difference in pictures alone suggests she may be dealing with the initial stages of dementia that is progressing rapidly.

  • The Punisher
    March 29, 2018 at 5:33 pm

    At a bare minimum she should have to put a make America great again sticker over her Bernie Sanders bumper sticker on her Prius.

  • Scarlet Letter
    March 29, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    Crime deterrents don’t get any more New England than public humiliation starting with stocks and pillory. Today we have Facebook and TurtleBoy!

  • z
    March 29, 2018 at 4:34 pm

    Short of dementia or mental illness, she threw the public a big “Fuck You” finger by not showing

    As far as being shamed in public, I’m assuming her protectors are commenting after the no show.
    For the most part, she’s entered the oh yeah, I remember her notoriety if remembered at all. She stiffed the court and she stiffed us. As I said short of dementia or mental illness she can go fuck herself. Mary, you did what you did. You take your punishment like an adult and hope you get leniency. Whatever people think about you is what they are going to think about you. You can’t change that. When whatever happens to you is done, and you’ve paid whatever punishment society has deemed fair (I know, I know) you then have a right to tell people “Fuck You” if they drag it up. You don’t double down ahead of time.

    • panzer9811
      March 29, 2018 at 7:20 pm

      I could be totally wrong, and I probably….maybe….mmmmm, …..I dunno….might be wrong, but I see early stages of dementia-like behavior. Obviously, I do not know this woman’s medical history, but as someone dealing with a family member with severe dementia….I see red flags in this woman’s behavior that are indicative of the early onset stage of dementia. IF that is the case, I hope her family intervenes IMMEDIATELY and gets her the help she needs.

      If not……… if she is just a sneaky, no account, c-hag thief, stealing from hard-working waitresses, then she SHOULD be publicly shamed. Not just TB shamed either. Like…… shamed as in…..public square, stockade, angry ripped-off waitresses armed with buckets of rotten tomatoes, shamed.

      • z
        March 29, 2018 at 9:25 pm

        “family member with severe dementia” been there, done that. Sucks biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig time. That one fucked me over because you don’t want to give up on them even when it is obvious to everyone else. Things got real dark for me in the aftermath. That whole experience was not my finest moments.

        Regardless of whether she has dementia or “just” mental illness she has to show up. If she is ill and has family they aren’t doing her any favors. The system will let her off if she is. But, the system has to know she is, they can’t guess that she is. Get a lawyer, have her tested. If the tests come back that she has diminished mental facilities, nothing will happen to her. Her life will be a mess but this won’t be part of it.

        Or, she’s a scumbag.

        • panzer9811
          March 29, 2018 at 11:05 pm

          Ya, it certainly sucks. Hugely sucks.
          Kudos to you for your support of the (family member/person) suffering with dementia. It requires a GREAT deal of patience, and is extremely difficult on the immediate family members/caretakers.

  • grandson
    March 29, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    She was too busy making brownies

  • Captain Trips
    March 29, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    Take her about 30 miles off shore, throw her overboard, and see if she can make the swim back

    • z
      March 29, 2018 at 3:41 pm

      If she makes it then she’s a witch.

  • z
    March 29, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    There should be more than just the $250. A no show wasted the cops and the courts (maybe not the judges) time.

    “Mary Gelsthorpe”
    “Mary Gelsthorpe”
    “Mary Gelsthorpe?”
    “Your honor Mary Gelsthorpe is a no show”

    So, someone has to fill out the paper work, someone has to call the cops, the cops have to track her down, the cops have to get her to court. That costs opportunity dollars. They all could have been doing this, but instead were doing that.

    When last heard from after the court proceeding she was saying ‘I dinnado nuffin. Only God can decide”.

    • mitch
      March 29, 2018 at 4:19 pm

      hahaha, She IS a witch in the old New England sense of it. Please bring back the stocks in town square so that we can hurl insults and dog shit at this miserable witch !!
      For commenters like Bonnie…which would you rather have ? Turtleboy shaming or the stocks ? The stocks would be more effective in my opinion but i guess TB will have to do…..for now.
      to be continued..
      p.s. ya think she’ll wear her pussy hat to court ??

  • John Galt
    March 29, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    Internet shaming is the new age version of the old shackles in town square. Break the law, submit to peer review.

  • vicxh
    March 29, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    Cameron Diaz obviously wore it better duh!!
    I would Cameron any time.
    McStickyfingers – I would not, even if you paid me…

  • Screw PC
    March 29, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    Fuck you Bonnie, you fucking crab louse. I get the right to judge because I would never steal tips from minimum wage workers.

    Don’t like it? Go slap your fuckin’ pancake.

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