All-Star Criminals

Greenfield Chick Turns Hoodrat, Threatens To Kill Springfield Cop After Assaulting Him For Arresting Her For Threatening To Kill Ratchet Hoes

Greenfield Chick Turns Hoodrat, Threatens To Kill Springfield Cop After Assaulting Him For Arresting Her For Threatening To Kill Ratchet Hoes

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Get the newest Turtleboy Sports t-shirt (as seen on the Felger and Mazz show) by clicking the picture above.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.





MassliveThe police officer who tangled with Tiffany J. Himmelman can’t say he wasn’t warned. Following her arrest on May 21 for allegedly threatening to shoot a woman,  Himmelman began bragging about her criminal past on the way to Springfield police headquarters, according to the arrest report. “She advised me that I did not know who she was or what she had done,” Officer Hermino Rivas wrote in his report. “She stated that she has shot people in the kneecaps before and is not afraid to go to jail,” he added. To further establish her credentials, she threatened to find out where the officer lived and retaliate against him, the report noted.

Himmelman, 24, of Amherst, didn’t end up shooting anybody in the kneecaps. But she did kick Rivas twice — once in the right knee, once in the left — on her way into  the station, and was pepper-sprayed in return, the report said. The drama began around 10:30 p.m. when police received a call for a disturbance outside an Indian Orchard apartment building. When officers arrived, several women were on the front porch yelling at one female tenant. As officers attempted to defuse the situation, Himmelman threatened to “throw blows with (the woman) whenever she saw her,” the report said.

Ordered to leave the area, Himmelman returned minutes later and resumed yelling at the woman. “She pointed her right hand, extending her thumb and index finger forming a gun … and stated, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get yours, bitch,'” the report said. Himmelman began kicking and thrashing when police attempted to arrest her. At the station, she continued resisting and kicking until receiving a “one to three second burst (of pepper spray) to her face and mouth,” the report said.

A prosecutor asked for $1,500 bail, citing the new charges and another case pending against Himmelman. Defense lawyer Matthew Hutchinson said his client had only a few minor charges on her record, and was intoxicated during her confrontation with police. He suggested that she would benefit from substance abuse counseling, and asked Judge Michelle Ouimet-Rooke to release her on personal recognizance. The judge set bail at $250 and continued the case for a pretrial hearing on June 23.

How the hell do you assault a police officer twice, threaten to kill a bunch of fellow ratchet hoes, threaten to find the cop who arrested and fuck him up, brag about shooting people in the kneecaps, and still walk away on only $250 bail? Oh right, it’s Massachusetts. The land of zero consequences for shitbags. A true ratchet’s paradise. Sure, the judge could’ve sent a message to all of these wannabe hoodboogers that their bullshit won’t be tolerated anymore, but that would make too much sense. Better just send her home on $250 and hope she stops acting like a sludgeguzzler. That’s the way Judge Michelle Ouimet-Rooke, a recent Charlie Baker appointee, sees it.

The funniest part about this story is the fact that this chick thinks she’s hard. Bitch, you’re from Greenfield. You play softball. You once broke up a no-hitter for Greenfield High School:

Chicks who play high school softball and live in Greenfield by definition cannot be hardos. I don’t care how many times you’ve taken the I-91 junkie express to Springfield and Holyoke. I don’t care how many times you’ve treated yourself to a hoodrat basket lunch. I don’t care how many times you watched Boys n the Hood or listened to 50 Cent. At the end of the day, this is the real Tiffany Himmelman:

Bitch you own flannel. There isn’t a REAL hood chick in America who owns any flannel shirts. Oh, and you drink Twisted Tea:

Any chick who gets photographed with an alcoholic beverage that isn’t Henny is automatically disqualified from the gangsta olympics.

Her hoodrat evolution on her Facebook page would be a fascinating case study for anthropologists. She starts off as your basic white bitch:

Starts to wear makeup and cocktail dresses:

Next thing you know she’s wearing flat brimmed hats

Busting out the puffy hood coats

And finally she might as well get a tattoo on her forehead that reads, “I’m so ratchet that even Jerry Springer rejected me”:

Anyway, for a bad ass bitch who allegedly has shot many people and has connections that can get her the addresses of police officers, she sure has trouble paying for pretty much anything:

Anyone renting a room? Price negotiable. Preferably zero because I don’t have any money to move in though.

For a white chick from Greenfield she sure does seem to enjoy the n word though:

Newsflash – you give yourself away as wannabe ratchet when you use things like capital letters and periods. Also, not nearly enough emojis. Get your shit together girl.

She also claims to be a savage, strong bitch because she drinks Henny straight:

Just a reminder that five years ago before she decided to play slum sociable her drink of choice was Twisted Tea:

She’s not interested in a good guy though, in case you thought she was the one for you. She’s more interested in being a “hood n word’s bitch”:


Anyway, if this chick really wants to be a white trash dumpster fire I don’t know why she felt the need to go all the way down to Springfield. I mean, Colrain is right there. Just stop brushing your teeth and learn how to ride a 4-wheeler and you’ll be the Queen of the Colrain ball in no time girl!


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 2.17.19 PM


Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.32.58 AM

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

Screen Shot 2017-02-27 at 10.14.48 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2017-03-25 at 8.48.23 PM

23 Comment(s)
  • marilu
    September 27, 2018 at 1:09 pm

    Lmaoo she’s Lexie Daniels’ cousin, oh lordd. Explains some of this Chico-trash she’s trying to be

  • Spankster
    June 2, 2017 at 9:08 am

    She does have some BODACIOUS TA-Ta’S

  • JUst Me
    June 2, 2017 at 8:48 am

    She talks the talk but can’t walk the walk.

  • Rydell
    June 1, 2017 at 3:11 am

    She tried to attack someone before the cops came and got beat up too before the cops came!

  • Your name here
    May 31, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    This bitch is trash. That’s why all the comments are about pumping her then dumping her. I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time. If I were the cop that hoe wouldn’t be able to open her mouth. That way she can’t make a few dollars on her knees. Hoodrat trash bag. And to the idiots who bitch about Turtle Boy, F U! If they don’t want to be made fun of, then they shouldn’t do dumb shit! Arrest records are public! Stop acting like animals.

  • They call me Ponch
    May 31, 2017 at 9:31 pm

    I like em’ the ladies with the softball build

  • MrBoston
    May 31, 2017 at 8:38 pm

    Holy Shit Batman…..with that pasty white skin, swollen lips and red lipstick..she looks like the joker from the original Batman show and movie….

  • Noseface
    May 31, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    I would eat the asshole of the 5 year ago version.

  • Russian Hackers
    May 31, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    Your browser does not support iframes.

    • Chip Chipperson
      May 31, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      tsss… well, try lenscrafters or sumpthin…

  • Beige Caulk
    May 31, 2017 at 2:34 pm

    She’s a hard 8 in Fitchburg….

    She’s right about niggaz tho

  • Baron von Douchebag
    May 31, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    First things first. I’d hit this straight up the poop chute without a condom, lube or sympathy. It wouldn’t be the prettiest thing I’ve done, and I’d spend endless alcoholic weeks worrying about whether I’d test positive. With that out of the way..

    It would never happen because a shit-beast like this dreams about cock of a particular shade, of which I’m far too pigment challenged, gainfully employed or educated to compete with. If this isn’t hopeless preening for Springfield gang meat, I don’t know what is. This chick’s life as wedding material ended the moment the tattoo needle hit her arm.

    Check back in 15 years when all of her teeth have fallen out, she weighs 90 lbs, sleeps in front of the post office, and is staggering around downtown in sweatpants.. because it’s fucking baked in to the equation.

    Massachusetts needs to be broken off at a perforation created along 93, with the inside-93 part slid outside of swimming distance offshore, and bridges built with checkpoints. Productive members of society live inside, and its Mad Max outside.

  • Your name here*
    May 31, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    I’d fuck her and let her steal my wallet

    • Duke Westwood
      May 31, 2017 at 2:42 pm


  • Kevin Blackmer
    May 31, 2017 at 1:45 pm


  • Colrain Cleetus
    May 31, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    I’d sure make her the queen of my double wide trailer… with the polyester curtains and the redwood deck….

  • Chris
    May 31, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    This is pretty thin stuff fellas.

    The turtle is floating towards shore now. Wait…is this from the new “Western Mass” office?

    This blog is so washed up!

    • Alex C
      May 31, 2017 at 1:48 pm

      Hey Chris… Haven’t seen you at the last couple meetings… Did you meet somebody else? Little Jimmy was looking for you… He was wearing the Cub Scout uniform that you like. I guess you really made an impression on him when you showed him your deep throat, don’t spill a drop trick. That one always hooks the little ones!

      So, hit me up, let me know what’s going on! In case you forgot, my twitter handle is kevalyn1.

      Later gator… 😉

      • Johnny5
        May 31, 2017 at 1:58 pm

        Would in the twisted tea pic from 5 years ago. Now not so much.

      • Johnny5
        May 31, 2017 at 2:00 pm

        You two pickle smoochers should type your dumb shit somewhere else. No one cares.

        • Alex C
          May 31, 2017 at 2:40 pm

          Jealous big boy? You want some salty smoothy?

          Hit me up… Twitter: kevalyn1. We’ll see if you got what it takes…

    • Let me up, I've had enough
      May 31, 2017 at 1:49 pm

      You punk ass bitch. Just sittin’ there trollin’ the page… you can’t wait for the next blog to come out so you can be the first one to post negative shit about TBS.

      Us turtle riders aren’t stupid – we see right through your lame ass attempt to try & sway the stray new reader before they become hooked and officially ride the turtle.


      • Turd Burglestein
        May 31, 2017 at 2:24 pm

        Firsties I win!

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?