All-Star Criminals

Hepatitis Hefalump Uses Rival Skagbag’s Name To Work Her Way Into Cranston Salon In Order To Rob Them, Lost 2 Kids To DCYF For Sexual Abuse

Follow @RealTurtleboy on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Smiles Forever, the newest Turtleboy Sports page and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.







Here’s your skagbag of the day out of Rhode Island:

Didn’t take long for them to use the powers of Facebook in order to find the skagbag responsible for the theft. It started when a woman named Jeannette Sears was tagged, with the name “Missy.” Turns out Jeannette Sears is the fake name that the skagbag used when filling out the paperwork, which was really just a decoy so she could rob the employees. And evidently Jeannett  is a rival skagbag who came forward and identified her arch-nemesis, Melissa Bibby of Providence:

Here’s one thing Jeannette Sears and a pregnant woman both have in common – neither of them has any periods. Also, that bitch is “dusty” might be my new favorite hoodrat insult. Just sayin. 

Melissa Bibby has deactivated her Facebook page as soon as this post was put up, but miraculously she’s one of the 0.01% of the population that still has an active Google Plus account:

Flat brimmed hat, hoop earings you could stick a hoodrat meat popsicle through, and duck faced expertise. Yup, it was only a matter of time until this hepatitis hefalump made her way onto Turtleboy.

As you can see from Melissa Bibby’s since deactivated Facebook page, she was a fan of the dog filter. Which means there’s a 99.9% chance she has had regular interactions with DCYF. And as it turns out she’s human garbage:

A Providence mother has been charged with first-degree child abuse a few weeks after police said a baby girl was sexually assaulted. According to city police, Melissa Bibby, 25, had been taking the young girl to a daycare, but workers there told authorities last month the child was crying and appeared to have physical injuries. They first assumed it was diaper rash and Bibby took the baby home, but after another day of the girl crying at daycare, police said Bibby brought her to Hasbro Children’s Hospital. After doctors uncovered signs of sexual assault, police arrested Bibby on a charge of child abuse, saying she must have known something was wrong. The baby is now in DCYF custody, and Bibby remains the only person charged in the case. She’s due in court on Wednesday. The baby and two siblings, ages 4 and 7, are now in the custody of the state Department of Children, Youth and Families.

So either she sexually abused her child (which I don’t think happened or else she’d likely be in jail – even in Rhode Island) or she let someone else sexually abuse her child because the cervix scraping the abuser was giving to Melissa Bibby was worth the physical and emotional scars her child will live with for the rest of her life.

I’m going with the latter, because amongst her countless array of Google trophies is a FELONY charge of…..

….harboring a criminal. In other words, she likes to get plowed by hoodrat gangstas, and is willing to expose her children to these monsters because her needs come before the needs of the child.

She’s got a whole bunch more in the cabinet too….

Credit card fraud, insurance fraud, multiple warrants, sexual abuse, and aiding and abetting a known felon. That’s a ratchet Bingo if I’ve ever seen one.

Don’t worry though, she’s used to court. She’ll get her free court appointed attorney as usual, get a small slap on the wrist, and her 2 year old child will be allowed to live with her moving forward, even though the older ones were removed due to sexual abuse. Because…..Rhode Island.

12 Comment(s)
  • Women4Trump
    March 22, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    The fact that 18 people liked that disgusting comment above, is disturbing. People like this are the reason why some label TB blog as racist. You are a parasite. People of every race have the scum of the among them. This part from the post below, yet people still “liked” it. I’m just plain disgusted.

    Also, stop pretending you’re white until you need to blame your problems on white people. You’re not white. Fuck off, greasy smelly brown subhuman miscreants who reproduce like roaches. Stay the fuck away from white people. You and the niggers are the reason why the second amendment is even necessary at all. Think about it. Do we need guns to protect ourselves from Koreans? No.

    Are you fucking serious? You are, why am I asking. I’d like to knock you the fuck out honestly, dude or not, for aiding in the stereotype.

    • Women4Trump
      March 22, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      Let me also clarify that I am not defending this scumbag piece of trash. She is the ghetto fabulous pig just like the rest whether they be white, latin, black, whatever. Nasty human being to talk about anyone like that due to race.

  • Donald J. Trummp
    March 22, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    I can tell you, we WILL BUILD a BIG LEAGUE wall! Would be perfectly happy to make deal for Dreamers, but lyin’ and cryin’ Dems don’t want one! Sad!

  • Schutzstaffel
    March 22, 2018 at 2:55 pm

    Another spic hiding behind a white last name. Stop fucking spics, white idiots. They’re a plague. They’ll take your last name and flood the borders getting their entire extended families into the country to create problems. Racist much? Fuck yeah. I was willing to overlook the first 35 years of shit I saw them do. Now, fuck ’em. They’re not worth it.

    Hey spics: Don’t like the racist talk? Then clean up your fucking act and stop blaming white people for every fuckin’ thing you do wrong. For fuck’s sake, everybody of every race and background all over the world comes to America – Japanese, Russians, Swedes, Armenians, Indians, etc. But who is expected to create problems? The fuckin’ spics. They are guaranteed to fuck up any area where they gather to live with drugs, violence, pollution, and general urban blight. Look at Watertown. A whole load of Armenians, and the town is basically spotless and crime free. Then there’s East Boston, Springfield, Brockton Lawrence, etc. All dumpster fires. Who lives in those places? Spics.

    You know you fucking suck, and you don’t care. That’s why REAL white people stay the fuck away from you.

    Also, stop pretending you’re white until you need to blame your problems on white people. You’re not white. Fuck off, greasy smelly brown subhuman miscreants who reproduce like roaches. Stay the fuck away from white people. You and the niggers are the reason why the second amendment is even necessary at all. Think about it. Do we need guns to protect ourselves from Koreans? No.

    Urban democrats are the source of all problems in America. Know it, understand it, acknowledge it.

    • Schutzstaffel
      March 22, 2018 at 2:59 pm

      By the way, unlike the troll “Wwy”, I’m totally fucking serious. Fuck off niggers and spics. You’d rather carry on your bullshit forever, but we’re done with you. Go ahead and die hating us. We don’t fucking care. You’re useless as tits on a bull and you’re not worth the aggravation you cause. You know I’m right, so quit fuckin’ playing. Enough already.

    • Siskel and Ebert 2 thumbs up
      March 22, 2018 at 4:43 pm

      Word up. Word way up.

    • FunnyShitButTrue
      March 24, 2018 at 9:30 am

      The most for realz post on TB since ever. Fuck I hate spics.

  • AintLufeGrand
    March 22, 2018 at 2:08 pm

    More welfare hoifrats for the evil whiteman to support while he works 80 hour weeks and they shit out more welfare dependents. Look on the bright side the welfare dependents get free everything including college while whiteman pays full tuition. To add insult to injury hoodrat can get by with a w.0 while white kid gets 4.0 and the company hires hoodrat because they are mandated to hote so many goodies from the hoodies

    • wtf
      March 22, 2018 at 3:27 pm

      Lufe, hoifrats, w.0, hote


    • fuckoff
      March 22, 2018 at 5:17 pm

      Another excellent commentary on TB. Unfortunately most people don’t know that many public jobs such as police and firefighters not to mention promotions go to these ignorant lazy fucks, and how many times passing grades for promotion exams had to be lowered because these stupid fucks can’t pass them mainly because they can’t even write their name while a white person that spent hundred of hours studying and sacrifices with family and friends tops an exam and gets passed over. I do not want to hear they do not have the same educational opportunities as the whites because we all know that is bullshit. Whites are getting fed up with this bullshit and the piece of shit lawyers and politicians make make this shit happen. If people wonder why police are ripping the public off here is one reason. It’s coming to a head and I think sooner than we think, whites will crush the black and spic motherfuckers.

      • Truth in Praxis
        March 22, 2018 at 6:30 pm

        Exactly. When are the concessions going to end, and when will blacks and Hispanics be able to get ahead and have orderly surroundings? The answer is never. The whole LBJ “Great Society” experiment turned out to be a disaster. At this point, blacks and Hispanics are completely AND GLEEFULLY dependent on government handouts.

        Why is this? It’s because their VALUES are infirm. It’s the opposite result of a healthy, nuclear family to have several different kids with several different women, but to Hispanics, that’s a badge of honor. “Pimpin” and “Thug Life” aren’t the aspirations of anyone unless you want to die or go to jail, but the “keeping it real” approach is what makes that so consistent. Then having kids without any planning perpetuates the fallacious belief system from generation to generation because there’s a dearth of positive influences; at this point it’s been going on too long to stop it.

        Sure, there are “white trash” dirtballs who scam the system. Did you ever notice that all of them are on heavy drugs and are screwed up in the head? The alt-right likes to bring up the fact that blacks make up about 13% of the population, and Hispanics make up 16% of the population, yet there is disproportionately large percentage more of them incarcerated than whites. So why is that? At this point, doesn’t any LEO really think twice about the complications that will result from arresting a black or Hispanic person? Cops continuously get flak from scores of activist groups to the point where their ability to thwart crime has been hindered greatly.

        We can’t continue to appease wrongful people. Tito Jackson actually has said that he wanted to pay criminals for good behavior. That’s a serious sign of the endtimes.

        There’s really nothing more that white people can do for black and Hispanic people. We let them talk smack about us to ridiculous proportions, and the white liberal apologists keep the circle going. Whites are now blamed for everything.

        Value systems are so distorted now that COPS ARE THE BAD GUYS. Did you ever in your life think that this would happen? There’s a coffee shop in California called “Hasta Muerte” that openly refuses to serve policemen, and the left supports it because the other patrons are scared of cops. Who, historically, has been scared of cops? Whom do those same people call when they get robbed? La Raza?

        At this point, I’m not offended by racism anymore. Sometimes people need to hear what they don’t want to hear. I actually feel that the more “thug life” is criticized and belittled, the more likely it would be for people to become rightfully embarrassed by what should be contemptible life choices. Simply moving away from blacks and Hispanics won’t help. They’re going to follow white people wherever they go. You’ve seen it. For example, Roxbury was once a flourishing Jewish neighborhood. What obviously happened?

        Basically, if a race is overwhelmingly “ratchet”, by all means, blast away. Keep doing it, and eventually they’ll get it. They already criticize white people with total impunity. The solution to the whole problem is to call blacks and Hispanics out for their overwhelmingly “ratchet” ways. They won’t like it, but at least they’ll know why have a problem with them, and it won’t come off as “I don’t like you just because of your skin color”. They’d eventually have to admit that they’d say the same about any group of people who commit similar transgressions just as frequently.

        They need to hear it. That’s it.

  • TyronNdaHood
    March 22, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    The fuck? What a piece of shit. Why don’t you jump off a tall building you worthless whore?

    The real Jeannette… look me up. You know my digits.

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?