All-Star Criminals

Lawrence DNA Sponge Hacks Drug Dealing Sperm Donor’s Facebook Page To Free My Boo After He’s Busted Selling Heroin With 14 Year Old Girl In Motel Room

Lawrence DNA Sponge Hacks Drug Dealing Sperm Donor’s Facebook Page To Free My Boo After He’s Busted Selling Heroin With 14 Year Old Girl In Motel Room

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We got a free my boo situation out in the magnificent city of Lawrence….

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So this chick “Attymay”, is very upset that her mans is in the can.

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Because…..of course he has a flat brim bulls hat in the “free my boo” picture.

She evidently hacked into this prospective sperm donor’s Facebook account, and wrote a fine piece of gutter poetry to a man who can’t read it because he’s currently sitting in prison:

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So who is this guy and what did he do? Well, we Googled him and this came up:

A 26-year-old Lawrence man is being charged with dealing heroin out of an Andover hotel room that he was staying in with two teenagers, police said. Chay Jomar Gonzalez-Mendez was under investigation for dealing drugs on River Road in Andover when officers determined he was trafficking the drugs from a hotel room, Andover police said in a statement Monday. Police obtained a search warrant for the hotel room on Saturday and discovered that Gonzalez-Mendez was staying there with a 14-year-old and a 17-year-old, the statement said.


Officers executing the search warrant found more than 100 grams of heroin, a loaded Glock semi-automatic handgun and $1,000 in cash, police said. Police determined that the gun was stolen from Manchester, New Hampshire, in 2012. Gonzalez-Mendez is being charged with trafficking in heroin over 100 grams; possession of a firearm used in a felony; possession of firearm without a license; unsecured firearm; wanton or reckless behavior to a child; and receiving stolen property over $250, police said.

Oh yea, this guy right here is gonna be a big loss to the community:

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He was just about to get his GED and start turning his life around too!! Free the boi!!

It’s clear from watching some of his Facebook Live videos that the local book clubs just won’t be the same without him:

Sure, he was dealing heroin during an opiate epidemic, he had a stolen gun in his possession, and he was with two teenage girls in a hotel room. But once you look past all that, you’ll see he’s really a great guy.  He’s putting ratchets through night school:

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He never forgets to pour one out for the homies:

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He always keeps it 100:

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He’s stays fresh to def

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And he’s mastered the art of the post-dump selfie:

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If that doesn’t fit the criteria of free my boi, then I don’t know what does. Even ask the crew:

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Those comments right there are so Lawrence it hurts.

You’ll never guess what Buba’s favorite NBA franchise is……


Shocking, I know.

According to Buba those underage girls in high hotel room (including a 14 year old) were not there to do the Merrimack Mambo with this gravy dumpster:

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Those girls were just “chillen” according to Buba:

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Oh yea, and all you people out there acting like you don’t have family members who are drug dealers or hookers are liars!!

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It’s true. We have hookers on my mother’s side of the family, and drug dealer’s on my father’s side. My family tree is the Eastern Ratchet Maple.

According to his good friend Leanne, negative comments are not allowed because “everyone makes mistakes,” “nobody is perfect,” and “only God can judge.”

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It’s true. Everyone does make mistakes. Sometimes I’m calculating 20% tip on a restaurant bill and I forget to carry the one, other times I’m selling heroin out of a shady motel with a 14 year old chick. No one is perfect.


You might think that the only way to get an innocent or guilty man out of prison is by hiring a really good lawyer. Wrong. The only way to get an innocent man out of prison is by using copious amounts of ghettofabulous emojis while coming up with different ways to say “free my boi”

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And anyone who doesn’t yell “free him” and include at least seven 100 emojis, is getting straight mercked!!

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Or at least smacked up.

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It’s all good in the hood though, because the Lawrence DNA sponge is gonna get him the same lawyer that got her off her charges:

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She really misses her boo:

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Which makes sense, because from the looks of her she looks like she has a bad case of “beggars can’t be choosers,” and appears to be in the relationship mostly for the free samples:


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Oh yea, and she HATES heroin:

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Which explains why she’s letting a drug dealer play bury the broomstick in her penis fly trap.

Anyway, fuck this fat piece of shit. Drug dealers are the lowest form of the low. Making money by selling vulnerable people poison, who have to steal from the people they love the most in order to pay for it, because they’re too gutless to sample their own product. Life sentence. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the most appropriate thing the state could do to these people is do what your Dad did when he caught you smoking a cigarette – smoke the whole pack. If you get caught with a shitload of heroin in a hotel room, you’re not leaving there until all the heroin is gone. If you die, you die. But you shouldn’t be selling a product that you’re not willing to take yourself.


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18 Comment(s)
  • Stu Pidazzo
    March 23, 2017 at 8:04 am

    That’s a woman? Sorry for assuming your gender, sir.

  • Yupppppp
    March 22, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    That’s a woman? I 300% thought that was Marilyn Manson

  • ElJefe72
    March 22, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    Attymay and Chay are the same person, right?

  • whatevuh
    March 22, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Jesus H what a bunch of shit stains on society. Check out their Facebook pages, all their friends are shit stains too, what a fucking collection of absolute gutter trash

  • Turd Burglestein
    March 22, 2017 at 5:25 pm

    Are you sure that thing is a girl? I swear that’s another tranny with a fivehead like that thing who bitched and moaned about having to shovel 3 steps on her parent’s apartment the other day.

    • Turd Burglestein
      March 22, 2017 at 6:24 pm

      Which is precisely why I find myself so strangely aroused. As a matter of fact that is the barometer I use to tell male from female. If I sense there’s a treetrunk between those legs then my own sapling begins to grow. Not that anyone would notice since, flacid or erect, extraordinarily teeny tiny is still extraordinarily teeny tiny.

  • KimberlyS
    March 22, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    Buba has boobies. What?

    Attymay has a moustache. Again . . . what?

    What is with all the Stars of David? These guys don’t look Jewish to me – especially since Chay Boo is wearing a rosary . . .

    Hope he rots in prison.

  • Wabbitt
    March 22, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    Hoodrat language is evolving too fast. Just when I start to understand these chuds, they come up with some new gibberish to confuse those of us with more than a fifth grade education. Example – what the fuck is l&k??? Those dumb fucks used it at least three times and I can’t make heads or tails of it.

    • I Speak Ghetto
      March 22, 2017 at 2:40 pm

      L&k… lock & key? The kids use to show they’re in a relationship

      • I Speak Ghetto
        March 22, 2017 at 2:41 pm

        Sorry emoji didn’t show. But it’s the one with a lock and key

  • El
    March 22, 2017 at 1:21 pm

    There is no way his “gf” isn’t carrying a 2″ baby dick. Can we say tranny.

    • Wabbitt
      March 22, 2017 at 1:27 pm

      Probably swinging more lumber than me.

      • El
        March 22, 2017 at 2:27 pm


  • Barry
    March 22, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    From the looks of things these two lovebirds could have met the last time they were in lockup together. He’s got boobs and she has s mustache so it’s hard to say which lockup they were in.

  • Pauly
    March 22, 2017 at 12:38 pm

    He embodies all of the maladies that plague Lawrence: heroin, illegal alien wetback, overweight, pedophile, Hennessy and flat-brimmed hats.

  • Agent Smith
    March 22, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    Does “Buba” stand for Bull Dyke? Or as in Bubba, from down south? Either way, it looks like that bitch could do push ups with just her tongue, no hands!

  • Duke Westwood
    March 22, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    Dayum!! Hope Boudreau done changed her name to Attymay Ashley Fritschy and this dude bought it!!

  • ZephyrCat
    March 22, 2017 at 12:24 pm

    Oh my God, there’s so much I’m confused about! First off I think the dude is gay because that is NOT a female that’s his boo! Or it’s a tranny-thingy! Secondly, What’s a text massage? I didn’t know that was possible and if it is then how can I get one? Third, again with WTF! He’s seems to be missing his 3rd & 4th fingers. Why are all the gangbangers losing fingers? Are they cleaning out active lawnmowers with their hands? Lastly, is this a new form of English these scumbags be postin’ and shit? Is it some sort of a competition to lower language to the point where the next step is just grunts and farts? So sad but yet so, so happy my life is not their life! YAY!!!

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