Legendary Rapper Duped By Cops Pretending To Be Record Producers Who Arrest Him For Breaking Into Cars And Credit Card Fraud

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NBC Connecticut: Glastonbury police arrested a burglary suspect by convincing him to meet with a ‘record producer’ in town. Zoe Dowdell, 19, was wanted for several car burglaries in the area in May, according to police. Dowdell allegedly stole credit cards from vehicles and used them at multiple stores in the Hartford area, police said. Officers knew Dowdell was an aspiring rapper, found some of his videos on YouTube and contacted him posing as a record producer interested in his music.  Officers asked Dowdell to meet, which he agreed to do, police said. When Dowdell arrived for the meeting, he found police waiting for him and they took him into custody.

Does this look like the kind of guy who would fall for the ol’ “fake record deal from undercover cops” routine?

Nope. Seems very out of character for this fine, upstanding young citizen who was clearly on his way to superstardom before being temporary derailed by some stolen credit cards.

Anyway went to go listen to his music and it’s literally the most painful thing you’ll ever listen to. I dare you to see how long you can keep this song on, entitled, “Gangstalicious”:

This is what Drake has done to hip hop music. He took a once great musical genre and ruined it by singing in a monotone rant that sounds the same in every single song he’s ever made. Just like all of this asswipe’s songs sound exactly the same:

Even this brilliant masterpiece entitled “Pussy” shot live at the glamorous Glastonbury CVS

At the risk of sounding like the token old guy, the music that kids listen to these days is God awful. This isn’t an exaggeration. I love rap music too. I am an aspiring rapper myself. But rap music is supposed to be fun. It’s like when you were at a party and all of a sudden “Going Back to Cali” or “Gin and Juice” came on. Every white person in the house put down their Zima, threw they hands in the air, and waved em around like they just didn’t care.

FACKS!!

So how the hell can anyone of any age have fun listening to that whiny abortion milkshake I just listened to? It’s not even rap. It sounds like a kindle with a low battery being raped. Am I supposed to dance to that? Because I don’t want to dance to that. I want to dance to 50 Cent, old school Jay-Z, DMX, and a bunch of other songs that get Shrewsbury girls shaking their booties at the Getladium.

Anyway, what would you guess Zoe Dowdell’s favorite sport is?

Yup, NASCAR!! Obviously.

He also likes to pose with dead deer on the sidewalk

Showertime with the homies

Asian booty

And promoting his hotel party “Gassed Up”

But apparently business is not going as well as he would’ve hoped, since he’s reduced to stealing other people’s credit cards from their cars.

Unfortunately for Zoe credit card fraud is a white collar crime and won’t get him much street cred. Then again I never thought I’d see the day where skinny jeans made a come back in rap music, so stranger things have happened.

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