All-Star Criminals

Legendary Rapper Duped By Cops Pretending To Be Record Producers Who Arrest Him For Breaking Into Cars And Credit Card Fraud

Legendary Rapper Duped By Cops Pretending To Be Record Producers Who Arrest Him For Breaking Into Cars And Credit Card Fraud

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NBC Connecticut: Glastonbury police arrested a burglary suspect by convincing him to meet with a ‘record producer’ in town. Zoe Dowdell, 19, was wanted for several car burglaries in the area in May, according to police. Dowdell allegedly stole credit cards from vehicles and used them at multiple stores in the Hartford area, police said. Officers knew Dowdell was an aspiring rapper, found some of his videos on YouTube and contacted him posing as a record producer interested in his music.  Officers asked Dowdell to meet, which he agreed to do, police said. When Dowdell arrived for the meeting, he found police waiting for him and they took him into custody.

Does this look like the kind of guy who would fall for the ol’ “fake record deal from undercover cops” routine?

Nope. Seems very out of character for this fine, upstanding young citizen who was clearly on his way to superstardom before being temporary derailed by some stolen credit cards.

Anyway went to go listen to his music and it’s literally the most painful thing you’ll ever listen to. I dare you to see how long you can keep this song on, entitled, “Gangstalicious”:

This is what Drake has done to hip hop music. He took a once great musical genre and ruined it by singing in a monotone rant that sounds the same in every single song he’s ever made. Just like all of this asswipe’s songs sound exactly the same:

Even this brilliant masterpiece entitled “Pussy” shot live at the glamorous Glastonbury CVS

At the risk of sounding like the token old guy, the music that kids listen to these days is God awful. This isn’t an exaggeration. I love rap music too. I am an aspiring rapper myself. But rap music is supposed to be fun. It’s like when you were at a party and all of a sudden “Going Back to Cali” or “Gin and Juice” came on. Every white person in the house put down their Zima, threw they hands in the air, and waved em around like they just didn’t care.

FACKS!!

So how the hell can anyone of any age have fun listening to that whiny abortion milkshake I just listened to? It’s not even rap. It sounds like a kindle with a low battery being raped. Am I supposed to dance to that? Because I don’t want to dance to that. I want to dance to 50 Cent, old school Jay-Z, DMX, and a bunch of other songs that get Shrewsbury girls shaking their booties at the Getladium.

Anyway, what would you guess Zoe Dowdell’s favorite sport is?

Yup, NASCAR!! Obviously.

He also likes to pose with dead deer on the sidewalk

Showertime with the homies

Asian booty

And promoting his hotel party “Gassed Up”

But apparently business is not going as well as he would’ve hoped, since he’s reduced to stealing other people’s credit cards from their cars.

 

Unfortunately for Zoe credit card fraud is a white collar crime and won’t get him much street cred. Then again I never thought I’d see the day where skinny jeans made a come back in rap music, so stranger things have happened.

 

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19 Comment(s)
  • foleyworld
    Wannabe
    September 1, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    Ya know what I miss???? Haven’t seen it in a while but I really love it when loser junkies brag about selling and or buying Foodstamps on FB and they’re so proud of themselves for being such Business Tycoons that they pull down their flat brimmed Chicago Bulls Hat and take Selfies of themselves fanning themselves with a pile of $20s!!! Hshaha!!!! Don’t these loser clowns realize how stupid they look while they ” flash their cash” ?
    Don’t they know, that WE know that the $180 they are so proudly showing the World is every last cent that they own???? And at 36 years of age that’s quite an impressive portfolio of assets!! I’d bet my right arm that the ratchets proudly displaying their chedda have no checking accounts, credit cards, or brokerage accounts… But they get so proud of themselves every time they cash a welfare check or rob a handicaped elderly person that they can’t help but display their vast cash haul to the whole World with such pride!!!! Congratulations Bulls fan! That’s what I spend on a nice dinner!

  • Burgling turts
    July 14, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Gangstalicious is the gay rapper on the cartoon “The Boondocks”, just sayin.

  • Chip Striker
    July 14, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    The wrong animal is dead in one of those pictures.

  • Wabbitt
    wabbitt
    July 14, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Can you blame him, though? Asian booty is amazing.

  • Jack Rabbit
    July 14, 2017 at 11:51 am

    The stupidity of criminals is priceless.

  • Bill Clinton
    July 14, 2017 at 11:46 am

    Looks like Barack Obama in the first picture

  • Titi ho
    July 14, 2017 at 11:34 am

    Those r some big lips

  • Rap is GAY
    July 14, 2017 at 10:06 am

    “This is what Drake has done to hip hop music. He took a once great musical genre and ruined it by singing in a monotone rant that sounds the same in every single song he’s ever made.”

    WRONG. Rap, Hip Hop, whatever other word you want to use, SUCKS. Its not music. It is mostly uneducated thugged out shitbag drug dealing, gangbanging pieces of shit stuttering out bullshit on tape.

    “I love rap music too. I am an aspiring rapper myself.”

    You just lost any credibility you ever had. Write and article about your newfound homosexuality and proclivity for vaping weed through your loosened up butthole.

  • Lieutenant Dan
    July 14, 2017 at 9:20 am

    Just don’t get that thing caught on a trip wire.

  • Noseface
    July 14, 2017 at 8:41 am

    That little Asian spinner is a thoroughbred dime piece.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      July 14, 2017 at 3:27 pm

      She probably does crazy things with her tongue.

  • Joel Cohen
    July 14, 2017 at 8:10 am

    Rap is a form of music created for talentless blacks to rage against white society. Amazing that the community complaining of being poor has so much money to pour into this genre.

  • Petey
    July 14, 2017 at 8:08 am

    Wow uout right TB sivk of yhis dough dough yea pop a perk etc yea you killed your career just spittin bout drugs etc taking them… I agree Im hands down with free styling etc but these rappers these days and aspiring or not or ones that made it rap on fake reality and ppl getting jailed following a fake life that ends up ruining theirs…

  • rodney king
    July 14, 2017 at 2:25 am

    welcome to the future, want to get away?

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    July 14, 2017 at 1:12 am

    Only works for the fellas though (mostly)… if you want to get the ladies that have warrants on the books, start contacting them as a modelling agent, most will fall for it.

  • Maggie the Cat
    July 13, 2017 at 10:40 pm

    I love the fake music producer idea. Wonder how many times the cops can pull it off.

    • Phong
      phong
      July 13, 2017 at 11:12 pm

      64 million

    • Cedar Street
      July 14, 2017 at 5:45 am

      Every single time

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