Manchester Gravy Dumpster Threatens To Drop A Hershey Squirt On Cops Leg After Arresting Her And Boyfriend For Egging Cars, Trying To Grab Gun At 3 AM
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NECN: Manchester police said they were called to 70 Dover St. around 3 a.m. after a neighbor complained about tenants in a second floor apartment. The neighbor said he heard the tenants fighting and asked them to quiet down. In response, they allegedly threw eggs at his vehicle.
Two sentences in and the Ratchet Rocket has already been launched. You wanna tell me to keep it down because it’s 3 AM and you have work the next day? How bout I throw some eggs at your car instead? Go fuck off yourself!!
Police responded, and said a male – later identified as Samuel Caraballo, 19 – came to the door and immediately became confrontational. He backed out of the doorway and Kristina Roberts, 18, his girlfriend, blocked the door frame and continued arguing with police.
Good luck getting by this chick:
Holy shit, it’s the Puerto Rican Fiona!! This chick is Dante Scarnechia’s wet dream. If he gets ahold of her and starts coaching her up then she could be protecting Tom Brady’s blindside until her retires.
“One of the officers then noticed Caraballo walking toward a long gun located next to a bed. The officer pushed past Roberts, even though she grabbed his jacket to keep him from entering. Another officer then started to place Roberts under arrest for trying to keep the officers from entering the apartment.”
By this time, Caraballo and the officer who had entered the apartment were fighting for control of the shotgun. Caraballo kicked the officer in the chest, but another officer was able to incapacitate him with a Taser, and he was taken into custody.
In his defense, he DID give police a warning beforehand:
The man said he ran out of fucks to give. And if this isn’t a face you can trust
then I don’t know what is.
Here’s the best part:
“Roberts was also placed under arrest. As they waited for the transport wagon, Roberts allegedly placed her buttocks on the officer’s leg and threatened to defecate on her.”
Best. Criminal. Ever.
That might be the greatest empty threat of all time. You have all these idiots out there resisting arrest and trying to run away, like they’re not gonna get caught. But this? This is an effective strategy. Imagine being the arresting officer and this cheesehog threatens to dump her butter gravy all of your leg?
I might uncuff her right then and there.
It’s funny because from the looks of her page, Kristina seems to have a somewhat normal upbringing. Then she made the wise life decision to allow this man
to insert the bedroom banana into her Bermuda love triangle. It was all downhill from there.
Apparently Kristina was sick and tired of playing bury the broomstick with fake n words, and she needed her a real one:
Ya see, Sammy Caraballo doesn’t like a lot of things. For instance, he has no use for n words who talk like bitches.
Cuz he’s all about the money yo!
One day he hopes at attain a high school equivalency edumacation:
But that’s just because he’s “trying to succeeded”
Sammy Caraballo is the kind of guy who takes a girl like this:
And the next thing you know she’s aspiring to be like the “cash me ousside” chick:
Has there ever been anyone in the history of Internet fame who has done a better job of milking her 15 minutes better than the cash me ousside chick? I’m telling you, once this chick finally does porn it’s gonna be the greatest selling video of all time.
Anyway, this all could’ve been avoided if they had just answered the door like normal human beings. Cops came there to tell them to cut the shit. But Sammy don’t play like that, and he instinctively went to grab his gun, and used his left tackle of a girlfriend to block the cops and threaten to take a smash on their freshly ironed pants. Keep keeping it 100 Manchester!!
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