Hoodrat Heroes

Millions Support Methwaffle After Viral Video Alleging Abuse Of Girlfriend’s Child, Turns Out He’s A Registered Sex Offender, Tried Hiring Attorney Richard N. Vulva

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Last week some chudwump from Florida named Jacob Young, AKA Jacob Moses, went down to the Tampa courthouse trying to get “retribution” for a girl who he claims is being raped by her father and “step daddies and stuff”:

As you can see it’s gotten over a million views, and he claims that the child’s mother (who of course is innocent) had the child taken from her and handed over to the rapist Daddy. Naturally it’s on the Internet so it MUST be true, and he’s getting all sorts of support:

Naturally the first thing they did was start a GoFundMe in the baby momma’s name (Marlaina Hernandez) so they could get a lawyer to get custody of the child back:

The explanation is so Florida it hurts:

Thank God she didn’t separate that into paragraphs. It’s so much easier reading a ratchet diatribe when it’s all jumbled together like that. I think the real miracle here is that she actually used periods and resisted the urge to go full caps lock.

Baby Momma Marlie is a real winner who prioritizes her child at all times. Here she is in the late stages of pregnancy (because of course she’s pregnant) showing up for a visit, causing a huge scene, and claiming that she doesn’t have custody of the child because she didn’t know about the court date. The cops in this are pretty hilarious:

Apparently this was supposed to be a two hour visit that ended up being 10 minutes because she spent most of the time outside rambling on to the cops. Sounds legit.

The custodial father has been going at it on social media, defending himself from the abuse accusations that millions of people now blindly believe because a stranger from Tampa put it on the Internet:

Hmmmm….who to believe. This guy:

Or this guy:

Tough choice.

And in the least surprising news ever, Jacob Young has a vast array of Google trophies in his cabinet:

Who would’ve guessed that this viral sensation would end up being a crackhead who’s been arrested a billion times for such harmless crimes as domestic violence, grand theft, and criminal mischief?

That was probably the old him though right? It’s not like he was just arrested a few weeks ago or anything. Oh wait…..

And did we mention the arrest for failing to register as a sex offender?

And this is the guy who millions of idiots rallied behind to get him custody of a child that is not his own.

But wait, there’s a perfectly valid explanation here – the child’s father photoshopped all of those mugshots and charges:

No drug or sex crimes!! Because lots of people end up getting charged with failing to register as a sex offender without being convicted of a sex crime.

Turns out there’s actually a court order that Jacob McChode can’t be with the child when the baby momma has visitation:

The irony of it all…..

Not his fault though, because he was also molested as a child:

According to Mr. Methwaffle they determined that the child was abused by giving her an examination. It’s OK though because the child was not scared, and there was only “soft penetration.”

It didn’t matter to some people, who still shared his story as if it was fact:

Naturally methface McGee, who is allegedly engaged to the baby momma, used this as an opportunity to hit on the married women who were helping him out:

Oops!!

Oh, and this should elicit sympathy:

He seems stable.

As we went down the rabbit hole with this one we found out that the original plan of action was to make up a lie about the grandfather molesting the child, and when that didn’t get enough Facebook shares they decided to go after the Dad instead:

Methwaffle and his prized trap queen do know their way around the law though. For instance, they’ve copyrighted the hashtag #justiceforemma:

And the methmuffin himself has been contacted by “soldiers in Afghanistan” who have given him a lawyer on U.S soil. As soon as this lawyer is back from the Supreme Court in Washington, it’s on:

Sounds serious. VERY serious.

The problem is they don’t have the funds for it, as the GoFundMe is not generating the revenue that they expected:

According to her most recent update, this mother of the year candidate took this to mean that those who are not donating “are trying to make sure Emma stays raped”:

By keeping Emma away from a registered sex offender who has a court order not to be around for visitation.

Anyway, since they were struggling to find a good lawyer, and their guy was all tied up at the Supreme Court, we figured we had just the guy for the case……

The one, the only, the Vulva himself.

So our friend Clarence commented on their page that he could get them a consultation with the man who makes his money by pounding away, and stiffening up the harder the case gets. Next thing you know Momma bonerjam was looking for the hook up:

As was the registered sex offender:

So Methwaffle used her Facebook page to message Attorney Vulva:

But evidently he was uninterested in being serviced by the Vulvanator:

Looks like they aren’t interested in a verdict that would likely be ribbed for her pleasure.

Soon afterwards a dog filtered friend was advocating on their behalf as well:

However, Attorney Vulva is a busy man and he doesn’t have time to play just the tip. So it appears as if his services will not be rendered in this case.

Update: An hour ago Methwaffle went to the police station to confront the cops with baby momma, and of course they brought a baby with them:

And since that didn’t go as planned he’s decided to go to Sheriff Grady Judd’s office, ranting and raving like a lunatic about he’s “coming to his office, you fucking bitch” and “you mother fuckers are gonna do your God damn jobs.”

This should end well. Something tells me this is not the end of this hoodrat hodown.

33 Comment(s)
  • Vonya Price
    February 18, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Is Emma ok? Is she back with her father?

  • Colonel Troutman
    February 3, 2018 at 12:33 am

    I came to get my boy. “Your boy?” I recruited him. I trained him. I commanded him for three years in Florida. I’d say that makes him mine. You don’t seem to want to accept the fact you’re dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare, with a man who’s the best, with guns, with knives, with his bare hands, with a crudely made prison tattoo gun. A man who’s been trained to ignore pain, ignore weather, to live off the land, to eat things that would make a billy goat puke. In Florida his job was to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. Well Jacob was the best. So I don’t think you understand. I didn’t come to rescue Jacob from you. I came here to rescue you from him. I’m just amazed he allowed any of your posse to live.

  • Molly's swollen labia and sore clitoris can't possibly push out another crack baby, or can they?
    February 3, 2018 at 12:25 am

    Hey Molly, hook up with me. We can make another kid, get them welfare checks rollin in like clockwerk.

  • Tonya Wilson
    February 2, 2018 at 12:34 pm

    Dam this guy is sexy as hell. We got matching face tats. Come down to the city of champions and be with a real woman. I got kids to baby

  • Vladimir PutInAss
    February 1, 2018 at 11:46 am

    Is this retarded wigga wanna-be , yeah I said it n what? Jay-Cum the most stoopid criminal?
    He is setting himself up. Does he not know tht everyone has a Google machine?
    I would love a piece of him..
    oh Molly, u fat cow. Ewww. N why would u believe this lie on the Internet.? Ur in the wrong. So TBS did what they do best.
    Keep up good wrk TBS

  • Wwy
    February 1, 2018 at 9:29 am

    A Jewish diddler is caught everyday,sick people,gas chambers for diddlers. Kikes ruin countries

  • Marlaina’s Neck Tat
    February 1, 2018 at 7:10 am

    Marlaina,

    Put that new baby up for adoption. We both know you’re going to ruin it.
    Stop making illegitimate babies with that child molesters and get a face tat.

  • Jacob’s kick stool
    February 1, 2018 at 6:41 am

    Jacob,
    It ties the rope around its neck and kick me from underneath it.
    I’m thinking of you too.
    In the meantime, stop reproducing.

  • It's fucked up but everything's alright.
    February 1, 2018 at 3:33 am

    I think the cops are doing their job just fine by constantly arresting this crackhead and clearing Kyle of any wrongdoing. Kyle’s an alright guy. His daughter is blessed to have a father who loves her at a time when her mother does not.

  • #fakejusticeisnojustice
    February 1, 2018 at 1:02 am

    The only sex offender in this whole situation is Jacob, it’s plain as day who molested her, look at the words he uses, he wouldn’t be acting that way to try to turn it on the dad. Hes a big piece of shit that should have been arrested, they know he’s a sex offender, he is supposed to register, why didn’t one of the 2 cops arrest him when he went to harass them?? The gofundme is a scam, they don’t even have any custody of her, dad does, there’s a court order that Jacob is to stay away. Moms too busy arguing with the police and hasn’t even bothered to visit her daughter, so she’s just as bad as her Chester fiancé, I’m surprised DCF is allowing him around the new baby unsupervised, if I was the caseworker I’d be going to a judge for a rape kit on that baby. 

  • K
    January 31, 2018 at 11:03 pm

    What a cluster Fuck. Sheriff Grady is from Polk county. He will send him right out that door if lying

  • Itsjustme
    January 31, 2018 at 9:54 pm

    Why does he keep saying “we pay these people (or these mother fuckers)” when I’m pretty sure they don’t take taxes out of welfare checks?

  • Molly’s Pierced Hoohah
    January 31, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Yeah, Molly, I’m sure that you have a lawyer on retainer, and you can just call him up about this kind of stupid bullshit and he immediately advises you to tell TBS to remove a post. Either he is extremely bored, hard up for business, or you’re a fucking horrible liar. Get fucked with that shit, you stupid twat. 

  • Florida not like the rest of us
    January 31, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    I am always amazed by these 45 chromosome motherfuckers. They never fail to blame everyone but themselves. I especially love when these low IQ, inbred fucks go after the cops an film themselves in a tirad, thinking they are getting the upper hand and not looking like bigger degenerate dumbshits than they already are. “justice” isn’t done, because the cops aren’t doing exactly what they think should happen! “I wanted my Ex arrested! I want to make myself feel better about being a loser!, I don’t care about evidence, or the law, or what you can legally do!!! YOUR not doing it, so i’m going to throw a tantrum until they go and violate someone that i’ve determined has wronged me to make myself feel better!!

  • SVU
    January 31, 2018 at 4:16 pm

    He says come on baby you need to go to work soon. So is she gonna leave the new baby with this shit bag so he can stick his fingers in This baby? If I had to guess on anyone touching this baby it would be Jacqob.

    • SVU
      January 31, 2018 at 4:33 pm

      Jacob**

  • January 31, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    Jacob ChoMoe

  • Hugh Jass
    January 31, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    TB is the ultimate poseur. The canard is that he’s a big tough guy. While the truth is that DeDe Delgado and her SJWs pantsed him repeatedly. Snicker.

    • Screw PC
      January 31, 2018 at 5:46 pm

      Fuck off and die screaming, you fat French communist cocksucker.

    • Gingy Kidd
      January 31, 2018 at 5:49 pm

      Wah wah wah. Moving on. No one reads your bullshit anymore.

  • Stan the man
    January 31, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    All I had to see was “Florida”.
    That told the whole story.

  • Molly Heckard
    January 31, 2018 at 1:48 pm

    Contacted my lawyer. Remove my name from your site post about Jacob Moses young.

    I do not want my name associated with this drama.
    Bill Fulton will contact you if need be.

    • don
      January 31, 2018 at 2:12 pm

      im pretty sure if you posted online, then it is public. If you had a lawyer, then he would have told you that.

    • Molly Heckard's Balloon Knot
      January 31, 2018 at 2:14 pm

      You involved yourself as soon as you messaged Attorney Vulva on behalf of these upstanding citizens. If you didn’t wish to be involved, perhaps you shouldn’t have picked up the sword and shield.

    • Billy F.
      January 31, 2018 at 2:21 pm

      I don’t know this woman. Please remove my name from your post, Molly. I do not want my name associated with this drama.

    • January 31, 2018 at 2:38 pm

      Enjoy your Scranton cannibis festival Molly.

    • Rick Shaw
      January 31, 2018 at 4:10 pm

      You are lower than nibblets of corn in homeless crackhead’s feces. You uneducated, child endangering disgusting pig. It’s disturbing that we have such lowlife, uneducated, filthy trash roaming this earth. You are a burden to society and you will still be a burden when they lock you up in jail. The only good thing is women in prison hate nasty whores who endanger children. It’ll be nice to know that your sloppy, nasty ass will get kicked on a regular basis.

    • Molly's Pecker
      January 31, 2018 at 5:41 pm

      I proposed a motion to dismiss Richard N. Vulva on the grounds of badgering a witness, but they said I liked it so it wasn’t harassment. Apparently that’s a thing.

    • Gingy Kidd
      January 31, 2018 at 5:47 pm

      Poor Molly. That’s not how this works.

    • Itsjustme
      January 31, 2018 at 9:59 pm

      Even the dumbest lawyer wouldn’t tell you that. If he did, I suggest you find a new lawyer because he doesn’t even know elementary internet 101.

      Here is some free advice for future reference: say it forget it, post it regret it.

    • Didi Delgado aka Anal Mouth’s baby daddeh. Fuck that bitch and them dirty diapers get a job bitch.
      February 1, 2018 at 7:18 pm

      I’ll put it in your butt. Tell your lawyer that. Turtle boy gang

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