All-Star Criminals

Pikachud Who Ganked iPhone From 7-Year-Old Identified As Tai G Poe – Thai Ladyboy Wannabe, Aspiring Broken English Rapper, And Professional High School Wangsta

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We were first introduced to who we now lovingly know as Pikachud a couple of days ago when a Nashua mom came to us for a dose of Turtle Justice after her 7-year-old son’s iPhone was stolen at a Dick’s Sporting Goods a few days before their family vacation.


Of course, Turtle Riders were all over this like white on rice, able to identify this numbnuts as Tai G Poe, a high school student from Lowell (surprise!) And as it is, and as it will always be, Turtle Justice is swift.


Nothing says ballin’ on a budget like finding some rando’s  mid-2000s Porsche Cayman outside the projects and posting up for a pic with your beat up Lugz.



#swag for sure in Boston, TN


Tai is, we’re told, allegedly part of the local chapter of a national gang named, fittingly enough, the Tiny Rascals. He’s also quite the accomplished rapper, rapping about love and loss (I think?) over a tinkering Ballerina jewelry box beat. So sweet. Here, have a listen:


There are plenty of others, too, if you’re a glutton for punishment and your brain doesn’t come oozing out your ears after that one.


His Facebook page is wide open, so make sure you let him know what you think of him pilfering iPhones from 2nd graders who know more about an honest day’s work at their age than this douchecanoe ever will in his lifetime.




14 Comment(s)
  • Independent Thinker
    April 5, 2017 at 9:23 am

    Trash! A normal person who finds someone’s keys, wallet, or iphone will turn it into the police or store security, but it’s even worse when you actually steal something.

    One thing the Arabs do correctly is how they handle people who steal. Chop the hand off and you will no longer be able to use it to steal things that do not belong to you.

    • Redneck Justice
      April 5, 2017 at 6:43 pm

      Or we could break their hands joint by joint up to the wrist slowly and they get to keep their crippled hand.

  • Twat tickler
    April 5, 2017 at 4:26 am

    Lol. This article has only been posted a few hours and he’s already pulled the video

    • Turd Burglestein
      April 5, 2017 at 6:32 am

      And his FB is gone too.

      • Turd Burglestein
        April 5, 2017 at 11:46 am

        Btw, I’ve always loved the ladyboys! You can fuck them in the ass while you’re jerking them off! Awesome! Or you can be like me and have them fuck you in the ass. And not feel too gay about it because they’re part lady too.

        • Turd Burglestein
          April 5, 2017 at 1:00 pm

          Hey zep…why don’t you knock this shit off? We all see this is the same hammerhead account you use for zephyrcat that’s behind all the fake burglestein posts and the fake bobnmic posts. We’re all sick of it, and if you keep on doing it you’re going to find yourself in the same boat bob was. Do you really want to go there?

  • widowed
    April 5, 2017 at 3:23 am

    Years ago, I would poo poo’d 7 year olds having cell phones, but with so many nuts out there, I would want my 7 year old to have their own access to reach me. I was an extremely vigilant parent, back in the day. But I can speak from “25 years of parenting” and did not hire people under 21 to watch my kids, and paid top dollar for babysitters. You never know till you know…so many young adults in their 20’s today still act like they are 15… people can surprise you. From my understanding. there are checks on cells for kids that will help limit access. But even than you have to be vigilant and check daily, hourly, what your kid is doing on the cell.

    • paul
      April 5, 2017 at 9:48 am

      There were always nuts out there, you just didn’t hear about them. Obviously this 7 year old was not responsible enough to have a phone or they wouldnt have lost it.

  • SMH
    April 4, 2017 at 11:16 pm

    Gotta say I have loved turtle boy since busgate but it is so off course. All it is now is story after story about ratchets. Those losers have been around forever and always will be. I see them every day at work. Most non-liberals get it. Where are the other news worthy stories? Right now there is a new turtle boy every day writing the same shit, different city. I used to read every word, now I find myself reading every 7th article and regretting it. And the comments on FB?; not the ones where “real” names are submitted but the ones attached to the article are atrocious. Same assholes arguing with each other. Burgelstein and company….no one gives a shit. Please original turtle boy come back and save your blog

    • Steve
      April 5, 2017 at 8:40 am

      Hate it ? Why are you here ?

  • Steven Stover
    April 4, 2017 at 10:46 pm

    Must be a initiation requirement of the Tiny Rascals. Shake down a second grader. Any “gang” that has this fool as a member is fearless. HAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • EmfnT
    April 4, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    Am I the only one questioning why the fuck a 7 year old has an iPhone?

    • Turtlehead
      Your name here*
      April 5, 2017 at 2:06 pm

      Yeah, you are

  • Earbleeder
    April 4, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    What in THE FUCK did I just listen to?!!!! If your gonna rap in English maybe try to speak it a little better…

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