Smiles And Sunshine

Ratchet Madness 2020 Round 1: Fupasloth Region

 

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Instructions: Vote for which ratchet you think should advance to the second round. Links to their stories are bolded if you’d like to read up on them. I’ve put together a bulleted ratchet resume for each contestant on TB Daily News which you can read by clicking here

 

1. Lorrayna Calle vs. 16. Direnzo’s Towing

1. Lorrayna Calle

 

 

16. Direnzo’s Towing

 

 

 

8. Can’t Jemima vs. 9. Duck Lipped Platypus

8. Can’t Jemima

 

 

9. Duck Lipped Platypus

 

 

4. Revere DCF Junkies vs. 13. Peabody Momma Meatflaps

4. Revere DCF Junkies

 

 

13. Peabody Momma Meatflaps

 

 

 

 

 

5. New Bedford Dog Abuser vs. 12. Mia Curtatone

5. New Bedford Dog Abuser

 

 

 

12. Mia Curtatone

 

 

 

 

3. Camel Tow Truck Girl vs. 14. Adam Walker

3. Camel Tow Truck Girl

 

 

14. Adam Walker

 

 

 

 

6. Brockton Poontang Plow vs. 11. Chicopee Trigylceride Trap Queen

6. Brockton Poontang Plow

 

 

11. Chicopee Trigylceride Trap Queen

 

 

 

7. Hep Semen Demon vs. 10. Nashua Nut Serpent

7. Hep Semen Demon

 

 

 

10. Nashua Nut Serpent

 

 

 

 

2. Weymouth Wenchstain vs. 15. Punky Chewster

2. Weymouth Wenchstain

 

 

15. Punky Chewster

 

 

You have 24 hours to vote.

 

 

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9 Comment(s)
  • Kate's Fupa
    April 7, 2020 at 8:10 am

    Some of those were tough. Either way Kate’s going to win since she’s the dumbest ratchet ho of them all

  • Dick Scratcher
    April 6, 2020 at 11:40 am

    I went back and read a bunch of the original blogs on these vag-trumpets.

    Found an old limerick of mine that I had forgotten, about the Nashu Nut Serpent’s hardo “Guido Dave Matthews” dad (who threatened Unc over his burner phone), which I’m very proud of and got her my vote for the next round.

    Here’s the limerick from that blog:-

    The father of ratchet Kiana
    Is a wannabe Tony Soprana
    But he sits all alone
    Making threats on the phone,
    As he plays with his small, pink banana.

    DS 😀

  • Go outside
    April 6, 2020 at 8:26 am

    It’s just the flu

  • Hadassah's guy on the side
    April 6, 2020 at 6:00 am

    Ratchet Madness is a depressing reminder of just how much of humanity is loathsome.

    But man is it fun. Thank you Unc for putting this together. Especially during this Covid hysteria.

  • annoyed
    April 6, 2020 at 2:34 am

    I hope it’s just my phone but a stop and shop ad is blocking a vote button. it just won’t go away.

  • Aborted Fetus
    April 6, 2020 at 2:21 am

    LMAO i forgot all about Mia Curtatone. So did her kid come out retarded or whatever she was claiming?

  • Judge dread
    April 6, 2020 at 12:53 am

    I remember last year during the ratchet madness awards uncle was breaking it down with the Chicago Bull’s theme song on repeat throughout the duration. Classic.

    • Dick Scratcher
      April 6, 2020 at 11:42 am

      That same music was used on the night the brackets were announced, on last Thursday’s podcast.

      It’s called “Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project – and I can’t get the damn tune out of my head since then.

  • Full Metal Ratchet
    April 6, 2020 at 12:46 am

    Booyah!!

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