Smiles And Sunshine

 Ratchet Madness Selection Show Starts At 9, Who Will Be This Year’s Top Seeds?


Tonight’s the big night – the 5th annual Turtleboy Ratchet Madness Selection Show. Click here to subscribe to our YouTube channel and tune in at 9. For those of you unfamiliar with how this works I have narrowed the list down to the biggest 64 ratchets from the last 12 months. I put them in 4 separate brackets and seeded them 1-16, with 1 being the favored ratchet, followed by 2, and so on. In each bracket the 1 plays the 16, the 2 plays the 15, the 3 plays the 14, etc. And by play I mean turtle riders vote for who the bigger ratchet is, and whoever gets the most votes advances until we have a champion.

It plays out like this bracket from 2018.

Here are the Final 4 from previous years.








Who will be this year’s 1 seeds? Find out at 9.




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47 Comment(s)
  • Judge dread
    April 2, 2021 at 1:43 pm

    Yup. Here we go. It is typical that rivers in China routinely catch on fire, but this is almost next level:

    A detention basin in the southern Ba Ria-Vung Tau Province has adopted a pink-purple hue while exuding a foul smell for over a week, disrupting life in the area.

    People in Tan Hai Commune of southeast Ba Ria-Vung Tau Province had 10 days prior discovered a detention basin located near several seafood processing factories had started releasing an unpleasant smell while the water had turned murky. By Thursday, the water had taken on an alien pink-purple color, with the pungent smell becoming unbearable.

    The water literally turned pink. And you have Greta bitching at Western nations while the Chinese have rivers that catch on fire and lakes that turn pink. Look for the article on CFP.

  • The Ghost Of The Ghost Cowboy
    April 2, 2021 at 1:33 pm

    Can we have a steel cage death match between Jaja’s crazy 70 year old
    cunt family “friend” and the Target “Grassy Knoll” Dizio conspiracy poster?

  • Hands Up Don't Loot
    April 2, 2021 at 12:39 pm

    New Court Filing — Ahmed Arbery had a history of claiming to be a jogger to cover up ‘criminal activity’…

    Filthy monkey should have been shot. He wont loot again

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    M Cannon-Grant
    April 2, 2021 at 11:30 am

    I’m raising activists to protest against you mother fuckers and dismantle your whole fucking shit.

    • BLM Is A Hate Group
      April 2, 2021 at 12:34 pm

      God I hope this is true–your stupid ratchet ass will provide endless content for TB to rail upon.

      How’s cheesehog DiDi Delgado doing? That’s DiDi with two capital D’s, dontcha know?

      • murdochpatsymcreynolds
        M. Cannon-Grant
        April 2, 2021 at 1:33 pm

        Im ready to go level a city block cuz y’all do bitch n***a shit.

        • Linda Coralyn
          Gimme a grant
          April 2, 2021 at 5:48 pm

          Wouldn’t doing bitch n****a shit be appropriating your culture? Nah. None of that going on here. That would be like you appropriating our white culture and seeking gainful employment

  • The King, Elvis Presley
    April 2, 2021 at 11:20 am

    Most Ratchet Award? It doesn’t take a Fass Coupe to find her….

    • That’s good shit
      April 2, 2021 at 3:07 pm

      Long live the King.

    • JaJa's Clam Ring
      April 2, 2021 at 6:49 pm

      how dare you

  • Judge dread
    April 2, 2021 at 11:16 am

    Like I said before we have alot to learn from Florida Man. The dude who bought a 6′ long 20mm gatling gun from a former Navy fighter jet.

    Get some 20mm tungsten penetration rounds and a few tracer 20mm rounds to boot. The tungsten rounds are designed to take out structures, tanks, heavy equipment, trucks/technicals, you name it. They cost $75 each but they will ship to FL or NH. The open market rules.

    I studied the Geneva Convention documents like 20 years ago and it states it is a violation to use .50 cal which I think is 12.5mm correct me if I am wrong, or above, on humans. BUT the GC only applies to military NOT civilians.

    Point the 20mm auto cannon in their general direction and hold the trigger down for half a sec, hit the ratchets with 20-40 tungsten penetration rounds and their entrails and body parts will be scattered over a 10m radius from where they were standing. Completely unidentifiable.

    We have a lot to learn from FL man.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      April 2, 2021 at 1:11 pm

      I remember being told to aim my 50 at their ammo or grenade belts and if they got cut half oh well.

  • What happened to the middle finger?
    April 2, 2021 at 11:06 am

    #1 should be the ratchet that keeps making me speed scroll through the “copy and paste middle finger diatribe” about jajahahaha “I’m glad she’s maggot food” in the comments every day.

  • 20 Mass Shootings Since Atlanta Incident
    April 2, 2021 at 9:55 am

    and vast majority who fired were not white – not even close!

    from ABC7 Chicago dated April 1:

    CNN defines a mass shooting as a shooting incident that results in four or more casualties (dead or wounded), excluding the shooter(s).

    March 31: Orange, California

    Four people, including a child, were killed and another person wounded in a mass shooting at an office complex in Orange, California, according to authorities.

    March 31: Washington, DC

    Five people were shot in Washington, the DC Police Department said. The incident started as a dispute and ended with two people dead and three injured.

    March 28: Cleveland, Ohio

    Seven people were shot at a Cleveland nightclub, according to CNN affiliate WOIO. The victims, four men and three women, were all between 20 and 30 years old, and police believe several shooters fired inside the nightclub, the station reported.

    March 28: Chicago, Illinois

    Four people in an SUV were shot on the I-57 expressway, according to Illinois State Police. All were taken to hospitals in critical condition.

    March 28: Essex, Maryland

    A man fatally shot his parents before shooting three people at a convenience store, killing two of them, CNN affiliate WBOC, citing Baltimore County police. The suspect died by suicide.

    March 27: Chicago, Illinois

    Four people were shot in Chicago’s South Austin neighborhood, according to a CNN affiliate. The victims, which included men ages 42, 53 and 64, were all near a sidewalk when they were shot, the station reported.

    March 27: Yazoo City, Mississippi

    At least seven people were injured in a mass shooting at a nightclub, CNN affiliate WLBT reported. At least six people were shot and another person suffered a laceration, the station reported.

    March 27: River Grove, Illinois

    A shooting on a party bus left three people injured and one dead, according to CNN affiliate WLS. Police say the occupants of another vehicle fired at the bus while stopped at an intersection, the station reported.

    March 26: Virginia Beach, Virginia

    Three shootings in the city left eight people injured and two dead, according to the City of Virginia Beach. Officers responded to shots fired and found the eight victims, who were transported to local hospitals with gunshot wounds ranging from serious to life-threatening. Officers heard additional gunshots nearby and found a female victim who died of injuries from gunshot wounds.

    The suspected gunman succumbed to his wounds after a related officer-involved shooting, the city said.

    March 26: Chicago, Illinois

    A gathering in Chicago’s Wrightwood neighborhood turned into a mass shooting, according to WLS. Two gunmen opened fire inside the gathering, wounding seven people and fatally shooting a 26-year-old man, the station reported.

    March 26: Norfolk, Virginia

    Police responded to a shooting that left four people wounded, CNN affiliate WTKR reported. The victims — two 18-year-old men, a 17-year-old girl and a 21-year-old woman — sustained non-life-threatening gunshot wounds.

    March 26: Memphis, Tennessee

    Five people were shot in Memphis, the Memphis Police Department said on Twitter. Three victims were pronounced dead at the scene, two were transported to the hospital in critical condition and one was transported in non-critical condition, the tweet said.

    March 26: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

    Outside of the Golf and Social Club, police say two suspects shot seven people, CNN affiliate WPVI reported. Video released by police shows two suspects approaching a gathering crowd and opening fire.

    March 23: Aliceville, Alabama

    A shooting reported at an Aliceville home left two people dead and two injured, according to CNN affiliate WVTM.

    March 23: Boulder, Colorado

    Ten people, including a Boulder police officer, were killed in a shooting at the King Soopers supermarket, according to police.

    March 20: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

    One person was killed and another five were injured during a shooting at an illegal party, CNN affiliate KYW reported. “There were at least 150 people in there that fled and believed they had to flee for their lives,” Philadelphia Police Commissioner Danielle Outlaw said.

    March 20: Dallas, Texas

    Eight people were shot, one fatally, by an unknown assailant, according to police.

    March 20: Houston Texas

    Five people were shot after a disturbance inside a club, according to police. One was in critical condition after being shot in the neck, the rest were in stable condition, according to CNN affiliate KPRC.

    March 18: Gresham, Oregon

    Four victims were taken to the hospital after a shooting in the city east of Portland, police said in an initial report.

    March 17: Stockton, California

    Five people who were preparing a vigil in Stockton, in California’s Central Valley, were shot in a drive-by shooting, the San Joaquin Sheriff’s Department said. None had life-threatening injuries.

    March 16: Atlanta, Georgia

    Eight people, including six Asian women, were killed when a White gunman stormed three spas, police said.

  • Chimpout: Easter Edition
    April 2, 2021 at 8:47 am

    Weather in Chicago this weekend will be warm. Easter weekend to boot, which means lots of primates mingling with copious amounts of marijuana, alcohol, and other drugs. Can we get 30 shootings with at least 6 fatalities? Come on Chimpcago Apes, you can do it! We’ll be watching and supporting you on!

    • Judge dread
      April 2, 2021 at 10:31 am

      Nice reporting. What is ironic is like 50%+ of these locations are cities/states with super strict gun control laws. ESP Chicago and MD.

      Gun control does nothing but deprive citizens from the inalienable right to the 2nd amendment and the ability to defense yourself. Criminals and gang members give zero fucks about the gun control laws.

  • Inflamed Anus
    Inflamed anus
    April 2, 2021 at 6:23 am

    Sad part is I’d still fuck most of this list, excluding the men, not cause I’m against 1 man stuffing another man in the ass, but because I feel Wellington Circle Underwear Freak deserves some ass.

    • Alexander Rich-Shea
      Wellington Circle Underwear Freak
      April 2, 2021 at 9:08 am

      Thank you, call me! Three 39 then 215 then ninety five forty six. I’ll suck your dick and swallow your load.

  • Repa Rations
    April 2, 2021 at 4:35 am

    Soooooo…. His knee was on the back the entire time…

  • Sampson
    April 2, 2021 at 1:16 am

    George the filthy lawn jockey Floyd
    Died of a heroin overdose

    Fuck n!gger lives matter and the white douchebags that support them

    Civil war is coming

    • Aidans noose
      April 2, 2021 at 10:12 am

      I love how a whiny shit smear suddenly becomes a medical examiner

  • Nurse Ratchet
    April 2, 2021 at 1:01 am

    The biggest ratchet of all is any pediatrician who recommends the COVID vaccine for her/his patients. This is insane, dystopian, Democrat bullshit. Because…

    1) It is not FDA approved; it is still experimental and emergency authorization only. There’s no emergency for kids. 2) The likelihood of side effects FAR outweighs any benefit to the child, whose risk of any illness—much less serious illness—is practically zero. 3) It is not a real vaccine. It is manipulated viral genetic code that tricks your body into manufacturing COVID’s signature “spike proteins”. These in turn elicit an antibody response.

    Ask the pediatricians how long your body pumps these out—bet he doesn’t know. Ask the pediatrician whether these spike proteins are guaranteed to be inert. (PS They’re not.) Bet he doesn’t know. Ask the pediatrician how the body clears the spike proteins. Bet he doesn’t know.

    TB, please make this an investigative priority. You are fearless and no one else is asking these questions.

    • Judge dread
      April 2, 2021 at 9:59 am

      Nurse you are 100% correct.

      Klaus Schwab from the World Economic Forum and Billy boy Gates are all behind this mRNA vaccine medical tyranny. They are die hard eugenicists.

      Just like the Gates foundation tried to vaccinate Africans for polio and ended up giving them polio and killing thousands, because the vaccine contained a live polio virus. I forget when this was, I think it was about 15 years ago, search engine it, it is 100% true.

      Check out this great video from Citizen Free Press, this dude is bull horning people on the street about the COVAIDS lies and a dude gets super triggered and starts smashing his bike into their car. The bull horn man fucking rules:

      tinyurl dot com/474tc8zz

  • Alexander Rich-Shea
    Wellington Circle Underwear Freak
    April 2, 2021 at 12:18 am

    The Spitting Rabbi is not a real rabbi I am the only real rabbi here. Also, I win this list for being too ratchet to even be worth putting on the list.

    In a just world I would have been arrested and chemically castrated for fucking all your husbands and I would be at the top of this list every year until my rectum prolapsed and fell out of my pants from taking too many cocks behind the State Police barracks.

  • The Spitting Rabbi
    April 1, 2021 at 11:20 pm

    Sadly, this list could be way larger.

  • randiguy2006
    April 1, 2021 at 9:33 pm

    We have met the rachet….

    And he is you.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    April 1, 2021 at 8:33 pm

    I nominate Bristol Turtlechick, aka Bristol, aka Kate Peter, aka Bristol Blarney for a lifetime achievement award.

    Honorable mention : The Fall River Gutter Muppet.

  • THis Story Wont Last Long In Fake Media
    April 1, 2021 at 7:31 pm

    The Orange County, California, mass shooting suspect has been identified as 44-year-old Aminadab Gaxiola Gonzalez.


  • Hey Aidan.....
    April 1, 2021 at 7:29 pm

    You’ve been unemployed for years. You faked a suicide attempt for attention. You sit around your wifes house all day begging for money online while she works to support the family…..the same wife you outed yourself as cheating on (or at least attempting to). You’ve been outed as a pill head, a pathological liar, and you’ve had more restraining orders put on you than a whole block’s worth of deadbeat baby daddies in Lawrence. You should nominate yourself this year. At least it would mean you actually could win at something once in your entire miserable life.

    • So tell me...
      April 1, 2021 at 7:57 pm

      ….what blog were you featured in? It must have been one of the bad ones!

    • Uncle T Rules
      April 1, 2021 at 11:04 pm

      Dang! What a hater. It’s obvious this dude has hard on for Unc T.

      Uncle T, we fucking love you and your work! I dont even bother reading mainstream media anymore. This blog is where I get unbiased truth.

      • Pate Keter
        April 3, 2021 at 2:12 pm

        Ok I love TB but he is not unbiased

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    April 1, 2021 at 7:25 pm

    Huzzah! Ratchet Madness!

    This is just the kind of fun diversion we all need after the anal raping we’ve been enduring from the ruling class this past year. From Obama to Harris to Klaus Schwab to Charlie Parker and that skank Polito. It’s been tough.

    Let’s enjoy Ratchet Madness before we take the field against these filthy bastards.

  • Randy Ryder
    North of the Border
    April 1, 2021 at 7:07 pm

    And the winner is…nobody.

    Not a fucking one of you. You’re all the ratchet refuse of life. Instead of showing how horrible Bedford Falls would be without George Bailey, Clarence would/should get to show you idiots how wonderful Lawrence, Brockton, Fall River, or Holyoke would be if only you had never been born.

  • Josh Abrams
    April 1, 2021 at 6:30 pm

    I better be number 1 even if I am really a huge pile of number 2

  • Black Privilege
    April 1, 2021 at 6:28 pm

    Imagine if a white politician had a white relative who comitted 9 rapes against black women and was let off because of who he knows. The cities would burn.
    We have a black man who the Globe refers to as an uber driver with no mention of his black race and the white race of his rape victims. TB needs to investigate.

    • Hu Fartted
      April 2, 2021 at 9:37 am

      Real and honest journalism is dead and has been replaced with Statist propaganda. The democrat/communists along with their accolades in the media are hell bent on continuing to divide the country and turn every demographic against the Caucasian race. The latest group to be told they need to feel threatened by whitey are the Asians.

  • kingsraisins
    April 1, 2021 at 5:30 pm

    Ok – suggestion for TB; why don’t you include the entire WRSD School Committee as a candidate. Guaranteed to make the final 4.

    • confused
      April 1, 2021 at 7:02 pm

      Does WRSD stand for Worcester something School something.
      I’m so funny, I pissed my pants……….again.

  • Will you be on the list?
    April 1, 2021 at 4:34 pm

    Turtleboy has started a few gofundme, stolen money, chased skanky ass, does not work, waste everyone’s time, is mental…
    My question, and I am serious, are you in ratchet madness this year yourself?

    • BoB Flanagan, School Psychologist@Annie Sullivan Middle School
      April 1, 2021 at 4:38 pm

      How can I make the list.

    • Dr Charmie Curry, Director of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Wellesley Schools
      April 1, 2021 at 4:42 pm

      ratchet, Whats a Ratchet, sounds fucking racist to me.
      Than again Mother Fucker, I’m paid to find everything racist

    • Linda Coralyn
      Done with this shit
      April 1, 2021 at 5:03 pm

      Nah, that might push you out of the running. And it’s a pretty sure bet you’re in the running.

    • Jen Pissaki
      April 1, 2021 at 5:06 pm

      Said the Douchebag that hangs on every post…. nice try Kate

      • not kate
        April 1, 2021 at 5:23 pm

        who is kate

        • Linda Coralyn
          Not Kate?
          April 1, 2021 at 6:39 pm

          A nobody who desperately wants to belong, but never will. Like never.

        • Kate Peter's mom should have swallowed her
          April 2, 2021 at 12:16 am

          Who’s kate, I’ll tell you who Kate is..
          Kate is a ginormous cunt who got knocked up by some drug addict who she abused along with her children. She gave her kids up to the dcf fairy because drugs are more important than raising her kids. She is a fat fucking slob who wears way too much make up. She tried to steal money from Tb and she got caught! That fat fuck also lit her truck on fire at her sectuon 8 property management job and tried to blame tb for it. Shes the same fat bitch who wears so much eye makeup she looks like a muppet but one of those fat muppets from fraggle rock. Shes had more cock in her ass than the ted Williams had cans pre covid. She thinks shes so fukin smattt dude because supposedly she knows what tort law is. She really just learned a new word and tried to show off with it. Her conversations are like, um, yeah, and like, yeah, umm,like, like, like. She smells like a pig pen and she has tit sweat stains in her shirts. She just a nast fat uneducated cunt who thinks shes smart and better than everyone else but shes a junkalope who gave up her kids. O and shes fucking gross and smells like cum and piss, that’s who Kate peter is.

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