Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
Time for another round of “To Catch A Ratchet.” Today’s episode comes out Providence, where a local hog jockey made a very expensive hair appointment, ran up the bill to $2,800, and used a checkbook she’d stolen from another business to pay for it.
So I had no idea how any of this works before writing this blog, but evidently when a business owner accepts a check and then the owner of the account it’s drawn on reports their checkbook has been stolen, the bank takes the money back from the business owner even if it’s been deposited. On top of that Jaclynn Kate Salon’s business account was also frozen, leading right up to the Christmas season. Luckily this sybian sucubus agreed to have the back of her head photographed by the hairdresser, and the twatsicle didn’t think ahead and realize that her face would be seen clearly in the mirror.
They also got pictures of her looking at pictures on one of the two cell phones she had with her.
Anyone recognize that guy?
Here’s where it gets tricky. She evidently made the appointment using the name Lauren Lombardi, but used a business checkbook that she’d stolen from another business.
They assumed that the criminal wouldn’t be dumb enough to use her real name, and another woman named Lauren Lombardi showed up in the comments to let them know it wasn’t her.
They kept sharing this picture, claiming that it was the skag who robbed them.
Notice she’s using the skinny girl filter there to hide the thicky-icky. That’s definitely her though. Evidently they got this image by searching for Lauren Lombardi on social media and found it on Venmo. Of course this was confusing because I was under the impression that Lauren Lombardi was an alias she was using. Why would someone use their real name if they were committing check fraud? This led to a very confusing back and forth between me on the Clarence account and whoever runs their business page, and ended up with one gigantic popsicle headache.
Then finally the missing piece of information that was not in the original post was relayed to me.
OK so the people who she paid using a Venmo is probably information that could’ve avoided this headache. Nevertheless, it appears as if this moron was dumb enough to use her real name. There are multiple Lauren Lombardi’s in Rhode Island, and one of them seems to operate a hair salon. But according to Jaclynn Kate that’s not her.
Either way, I’m baffled on this one. The checks were stolen from Montrose Investments. All I know is this woman robbed the place:
Her name might be Lauren Lombardi, or else she’s trying to frame someone named Lauren Lombardi. But her Venmo is under the name Lauren Lombardi. And if you no one recognizes her, maybe someone recognizes one of her friends.
Or the people she was looking at pictures of on her phone.
Bottom line is someone has to know who she is. Email firstname.lastname@example.org or message us on Facebook if you think you know.