Soursnatch Kid Feigns Interest In Acquaintance’s Terminal Cancer So She Can Rob Him At Quincy MBTA Station, Immediately Becomes Chicago Bulls Fan

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Fox 25 News: On August 3, Transit Police were called to the MBTA Quincy Center Station for a reported assault. The 31-year-old victim told police he was at the station when a woman he knew approached him and started talking to him. He said he had recently been diagnosed with an inoperable sarcoma tumor and he thinks the woman was using his health condition to get close to him. While they were talking, the man told police she took his wallet out of his pocket. When he noticed, he demanded she give it back. That’s when the woman punched him in the face and took off. The woman was quickly identified as 28-year-old Kellilynn Johnson of Quincy. Police say she had an unrelated warrant for her arrest out of Quincy for three counts of assault and battery.

Quincy again? SMH.

So the “victim” has an inoperable sarcoma tumor. That’s nothing. At least that guy doesn’t have the “disease” that Kellilynn Johnson has. The disease that makes you pretend to feign interest in someone’s terminal illness because you’re trying to steal his wallet. Not her fault though. She needed her next fix. The demons made her do it. She has no free will and therefore cannot be held responsible for her actions. This same disease makes all who are afflicted with it post copious amount of bathroom selfies:

Another common symptom of this disease if you don’t get treatment in time, is you automatically become a fan of the most ghettofabulous sportball franchise known to mankind:

I don’t know why they do this. I don’t know why they all become Chicago Bulls fans overnight. It makes no sense. This is not the Michael Jordan Bulls. These people don’t remember the 90’s. The Bulls have become the face of mediocrity in the NBA since then. Sometimes they’re awful, sometimes they’re good. But they’re never the best, and most of the time they hover around .500. So why did they pick this particular franchise? Were the Milwaukee Brewers or the Houston Texans already taken?

Anyway, Kellilynn Johnson has no time for “funny ass people bitches,” who be on her shit and worrying about what she be doing. They must FALL BACK!

She also lives by the age old hoodrat code:

I noticed that the people who scream “no snitching” the loudest, are usually committing crimes, and thus seem to benefit more from this code than anyone else. I might be able to take it more seriously if some learned, law abiding physicians were the ones using it. But if the only reason you don’t support snitching is because you wanna rob the terminally ill at a MBTA station, it seems kind of one-sided. I’m not getting much out of this code. You are. Just sayin.

Anyway, it looks like this was just another valuable “lesson learned” for Kellilynn:

Don’t worry though – if she’s not out already, she’ll be out soon and robbing more people to feed her “disease.”

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