Jack Kanoff On Bad Commeters

This Conversation Between Legal Expert From Felicia Feelz Mafia And Uncle Turtleboy Will Entertain You, Give You A Popsicle Headache, And Cause You To Lose Faith In Humanity

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 







The Felicia Feelz GoFundMe patrol is up our fupas right now. If you don’t know who they are then read this blog from my girl SSTG. In summation, girl starts $20K GoFundMe because she voluntarily dropped out of expensive private college due to “bullying,” SSTG blogs about it, enabling twatwaffle friends invade our page telling us we’re mean, SSTG blogs about them. Keep in mind not one of them donated a single penny to the GFM. Not one of them was willing to sacrifice ANYTHING in order to help their allegedly traumatized friend. They did however whine about how offended they were on her behalf, including her BFF Barbie (real name) who posted several times about how proud she was to be Turtleboy famous (since taken down).

And in the comments people were lining up to brag about their alleged Turtleboy fame.

Ya know you’re in good company when all of your friends can relate to being Turtleboy famous. Wayne Norling appears to have been a minor character in this blog SSTG wrote a couple years ago. Teela Renee was not featured in any of our blogs, although he does claim he got some good dick out of it. I see he, because…..

Ya know…….penis.

Anyway, we all have access to the Clarence Woods Emerson/Philip V. Prentiss/Terrance Collie accounts and this human messaged Terrance and Uncle Turtleboy was responding as I followed along eating my popcorn.

So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m just gonna show you the entire conversation with zero commentary and let you comment and draw on your own conclusions based on what you read. Just understand that this is the life of working for Turtleboy on a daily basis, and it never gets old.


Welcome to the world of Turtleboy. Be careful what you say in the comments – she knows a REAL JOURNALIST.

22 Comment(s)
  • Diane Woods emerson
    January 20, 2019 at 6:36 am

    Jeeze at some point I would have at least googled the four things. To lazy to even do that. 

  • Face painter
    January 19, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    At least she doesn’t type in ghetto slang, she has that much going for her. Decent face, id give her free teeth whitener sessions so she doesn’t have to make a fool of herself slinging some fake mlm shit on her fb page.

  • I Win
    January 19, 2019 at 7:18 am

    I woke up my wife and son from laughing to hard.

  • Coke Head
    January 18, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    LMAO I know this girl from high school she used to let dudes rail her for coke

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    January 18, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    Hey Stunt Penis – I need clarification.

    Are hers considered “Fat Gurl Titties”?

  • Que?
    January 18, 2019 at 9:07 am

    If anything, isn’t she the one breaking the law? Making threats to TBwhen TB didn’t break the law? I’m legit asking the question.

  • Stunt Penis
    January 18, 2019 at 9:07 am

    I had to stop reading 1/2 way through. I could feel my intelligence draining away the more I read. I didn’t want to end up with the intelligence of an amoeba like Alexandra.

    • z
      January 18, 2019 at 9:34 am

      Definitely a ‘Flowers for Algernon’ moment on the downward slope.

  • Old Salt
    January 18, 2019 at 8:43 am

    Case in point, “case and point”.

  • Yuck
    January 18, 2019 at 7:18 am

    Holy fuck, I am stupider for reading this. It is possible that we ( I say “we” because this falls on everyone) raised the stupidest generation this planet has ever seen. These fucking retards think they are smart but they are, in fact, incredibly stupid and ignorant at the same time. Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with that cunt?

  • I See Dumb People
    I see dumb people
    January 18, 2019 at 6:16 am

    Hahahah… Thanks for the laughs so early in the morning hahhhaha pure entertainment gold

  • dental plan
    January 18, 2019 at 12:40 am

    If there was EVER a story that needed a trigger warning, it was this one.

  • Turdchomper
    January 17, 2019 at 11:41 pm

    Nothing worse than a entitled cunt who’s been told how beautiful and smart she is all her life. They make the best internet lawyers and the biggest foolsnof themselves. Maybe I’ll put on my cuckboy persona and come to save the day for her maybe she’ll show me her tits. Unless thats libel and horsement.

  • z
    January 17, 2019 at 10:13 pm

    Masslive has a story up about TB and Gaffney. Also mentions the mass mailing.
    I’d suggest Ms.Nicole take a look.

    Ms. Nicole, the best suggestion in life is to leave the smallest possible footprint on the internet as you are capable of. Not tweets, no facebook, no instagram. Texts and e-mails only if you must. Even those can bite you in the ass.

    I’d also say that if Ms. Nicole has ever commented about anything in the public record on a public forum, be it Trump, Clinton, Obama, #metoo, gun control, etc… and said something (derogatory or not) about anyone then she’s done the exact same thing that is going on here. The notoriety of the person isn’t really that important when the information is public. That means small timers can get skewered.

    Like it or not a “Yeah but….” doesn’t count.

  • Deval I have. A secret Patdick
    January 17, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    Thanks to Gacemachine and instatwitter all these insignificant assholes now have a voice. The world was a better place when they met at rest areas and kept their business to themselves

  • Sausagewallet
    January 17, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    The problem with social media is that it gave everyone a voice stupid or otherwise. Couple that with an educational system that tells everyone that they are special, worthy of praise, and beyond correction results in a culture of deluded narcissists unworthy of shame. It’s fascinating to watch.

  • Dick N Vulva
    January 17, 2019 at 9:58 pm

    I got the popsicle headache after reading that. It was like a ping pong ball.

    You should have given this nitwit a direct referral to the esteemed Richard N Vulva Esq

  • MrSmiley
    January 17, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    Queue up the gofundme for lawyers fees to sue tb for the first gofund me article. It will neverr endddd

  • Street rat
    January 17, 2019 at 9:42 pm

    Jesus… People really are that stupid..why don’t they realize it’s best to say nothing instead of trying to refute claims? College educated and still as stupid as the day is long….

    • z
      January 18, 2019 at 12:05 am

      Basically the Bill Belichick method.
      Give the absolute minimum amount of information.
      If possible, never answer a question.
      If you do answer a question, always phrase it so followup questions can never be asked.
      People will call you an asshole. B.B. doesn’t mind.
      Most people don’t want to be called an asshole so they explain or counter with a version of “Oh yeah?”
      You have to have will power not to explain or counter. I’d have trouble doing it and I believe most
      people would also,
      Doing that can fuck you over.
      Not any different than “You have the right to remain silent, any….”.

      From a website:
      “G. Gordon Liddy famously performed this feat, as was captured in the book All The President’s Men, when Deep Throat says to Bob Woodward: I was at a party once, and, uh, Liddy put his hand over a candle, and he kept it there. He kept it right in the flame until his flesh was burned. Somebody said, “What’s the trick?” And Liddy said, “The trick is not minding.”

      • Louis Red Deutsch
        January 18, 2019 at 8:38 am

        I’ll give ya two zigs across both cheeks. The ZZ!

        • Seamus Train
          January 18, 2019 at 5:49 pm

          Haha, that’s awesome! Love the Bum Bar Bastards!

Comment on this Post


Meet Brian “Bunnzy” Pike: New Bedford Caboose Connoisseur/Food Stamp Salesman Who Trolls TB Because We Roasted His Skinner Friend
Duck Lipped Blabberpuss With $1,500 Gaming GoFundMe Invades Comments Section, Previously Had GFM Claiming She Couldn’t Work Because Of Herpes And Epilepsy
Disgraced Nurse Suspended For Mishandling Drugs Defends Honor Of Dick Pic Donkey Who Threatens Massive Lawsuit For Blog About Him