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Was reading this article from the Yale Daily News today, and it really got me thinking. There is a dorm there called Calhoun, named after the former Southern Senator John C. Calhoun. However, since he was a slave owner students have demanded that the name of the dorm be changed. When Yale announced that they would not be doing so the student social justice warriors were inadvertently triggered as their internal safe spaces were violated. They’re really freaking out over it, which got Turtleboy thinking about all the triggering microagressions we see on a daily basis. In particular there are a lot of towns and cities in Massachusetts with deeply offensive names that need to be changed immediately. Here are the Top 20 Most Triggering Microaggression Massachusetts Towns And Cities
Daltonism is the scientific name for “color-blind.” And as we have all been taught by social justice warriors, the term “color-blind” is extremely racist. It suggests that you do not consider race when judging and evaluating people, which would be fine if we were all equal. But as you know, white, cisgendered men are the root of all evil, so it’s racist to put people on an equal playing field.
New name: Lisadyerland
As you know, Prince died the other day. When I see Princeton on a map it makes me want to cry and I feel unsafe.
New Name: Beyonceton
It’s transphobic to call a boy, a boy. We do not know what gender they are until they tell us later on in their life. It is a microaggression to assume gender is based on a penis.
New Name: Genderfluidston
Do NOT call me a chick. That’s sexist and promotes rape culture.
New name: Lenadunhampton
Orange is the new black because orange is what you wear when you go to jail. This promotes the school to prison pipeline which is inherently racist and offensive towards people of color.
New Name: Paroleford
Sounds too much like “white man.” White men trigger hurt feelings because every white man who has ever existed is responsible for slavery, sexism, and heteropatriarchy.
New name: White Privilegeville
It’s classist to be rich. Wealth is evil. If you have something that I want, that makes me feel sad and triggers my butthurt. Not fair.
New name: Redistributionland
Donald Trump wants to build a wall, so walls in and of themselves are therefore racist and make me feel unsafe.
New Name: Openborderston
If you’re at the top, then you probably got there because of all your privileges. Since most social justice warriors like myself are at the bottom and struggling just to survive every day, just seeing this town triggers our hurt feelings.
New name: Everyonegetstrophytown
Mendon is offensive to women, non-binary, transgenders, and gender non-conforming social justice warriors. It reminds me of the men’s room, which in and of itself is transphobic.
New name: Transgenderland
This name triggers “fat” or “non-healthy conforming” people, by pointing out the difference in our physical mass. It glamorizes individuals who choose to maintain lifestyles in which they are able to navigate through Walmart without a motorized scooter.
New name: Plussizeford
Harvard is the poster child college for cisheteroableistpatriarchy. They are selective about how people can get in, which means that many people don’t get in, which in turn hurts their feelings and triggers butthurt.
New Name: Quinsig
This town’s name implies that life is somehow fair. It’s not. The 1% of cisgendered white male scum who control this country have unfair advantages.
New name: Nofairhaven
Winning is a triggering word because it implies that one person is better than another. This is why it’s important to give everyone a trophy. Because in life there are no winners unless we can all be winners.
New Name: Trophyfield
When white people appropriate other cultures, this can cause hurt feelings by members of those cultures. Peru is a Spanish speaking country in Latin America, not a boondock white town in the Berkshires.
New name: Canada
Gardner is offensive towards Mexicans because so many people associate migrant workers with landscaping and gardening. This is potentially triggering because Mexicans can be successful in any career they pursue.
New name: Astronautborough
This is very triggering for the millions of people who don’t have enough to eat at night because they traded in their EBT points for some scratch tickets. Meanwhile in Cape Cod they have more sandwiches than they know what to do with.
New name: Foodstampston
Up until 1997 this small town on Martha’s Vineyard was called “Gay Head.” Then it was changed to Aquinnah right after the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy came into effect. Gee, I wonder why? Homophobic much?
New name: NoH8
No one in America is truly “free” except for cisgendered, heterosexual, white males. This is why we need to continue to blockade highways with other hippies and make a federal case out of everything. It’s demeaning and patriarchal to insist that all people are somehow “free.” Everyone is literally a slave except for cishetero white men.
New name: Whitedevilbury
Even though both men and women are capable of…..ya know…..men almost always do it first. Because all men are misognyists who put their own selfish desires of climaxing before that of a woman.
New name: Clitorisburg
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