Smiles And Sunshine

Turtleboy Brand Now Being Used To Endorse Ratchet Strippers At Palmer Nudey Bar


Turtleboy has grown so big that our brand is apparently now being used to endorse strippers in Palmer at the Magic Lantern:


Turtleboy Sport? Is this a strip club or a Chinese restaurant?

But seriously, this is the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. By far our greatest accomplishment. Even better than our endorsement from the Hooter’s in Shrewsbury.


If you’re not familiar with Princeza Aponte, she’s the most legendary ratchet stripper of all time.


She was arrested in 2016 in a heroin drug bust. She got the charges dropped to possession. Then she was arrested again a few weeks back after a cop caught her pantsless, alone in a parked car with an open bottle of whiskey, and she kicked the cop who then had to tase her into submission. Only a few days later she was arrested AGAIN at 3 AM for driving around stoned, having cocaine in plain sight, and then trying to drive away from the state cop who pulled her over.

Look, we’ve got plenty of strippers in Worcester and all the other lovely cesspools across New England. But I couldn’t tell you any of their names. The mere fact that we can walk into a strip club in Palmer and know more people’s names than I would at the grocery store is an unbelievable feat. Only in America can a stripper become that famous by being that ratchet. Luckily she’s in the only line of work where you can kick cops,  and get a promotion to headline dancer on Thursday nights.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)



Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook"Click

32 Comment(s)
  • whatevuh
    January 28, 2017 at 8:38 am

    Says they strip to feed their kids, hates it when you toss canned goods on the stage

  • COB
    January 28, 2017 at 8:10 am

    I’m headed there tonight to see if she’ll rub her snatch in my face!

    • BobnMic
      January 28, 2017 at 11:36 pm

      COB – missed you dude! How about those fart boxes?

      • COB
        January 29, 2017 at 9:23 am

        Fuck off BobnMic. I don’t like you and never have so don’t try pretending that we are old friends on here.

  • Loch Ness Monster
    January 27, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    If she was half as smart as she is good lookin her IQ would be in the genius range. She is most likely one of those suck your dick for coke strippers tho. Oh well. Turtleboy should get 50% of the $3.50 she probably made last night even tho she is the one that had to swallow

  • BobnMic
    January 27, 2017 at 4:30 pm

    Hooters – was there last night with wifey. GREAT buffalo chicken wings ehmm……………………………

    • BobnMic's Blow Up Wife
      January 28, 2017 at 8:43 pm

      We had such a good time at Hooters. Bobbie ordered the 3 mile island hot wings and gawked at all the women who he could never even dream of having. Afterwards he rubbed the leftover sauce in my mouth hole and we had some of the hottest latex sex ever. I think his 2 inch penis was burning for hours.

      • BobnMic
        January 28, 2017 at 11:18 pm

        Nice job Turd Burglestein fucking up this blog and annoying innocent viewers / commenters.

        • Turd Burglestein
          January 29, 2017 at 7:33 am

          No Bob…that’s what you do.

  • Hughbo Mont
    January 27, 2017 at 4:26 pm

    Go there wearing a Turtleboy Sports shirt and demand a free table dance!

  • Congratulations
    January 27, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    This is more than a honor. To have your name on the same billboard, as the internationally famous superstar, “Princeza”. Your life is complete and honor has finally came to Worcester and it’s fine citizens !

  • Mistressveila
    January 27, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    Well she’s cute she’s curvy, and , hey, if she wants to flaunt her assets now, while she has them, before she looses her looks, which will go quickly with the drug use , let her
    Eventually she’ll land in jail too
    I’m sure she came from a wonderful home, growing up.. Her mom, a lovely caring woman I’m sure
    She could be putting money aside for college?
    Who knows

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      January 27, 2017 at 4:02 pm

      A woman can look sexy and have sex appeal without being 90% naked. You don’t even have to show lots of cleavage either. Wear something form fitting, and maybe show an inch or two of cleavage… With the right outfit and high heels, a woman can look sexy without showing skin; leaving everything else to the imagination. So tip to the ladies, if you want to turn a man on, find out what he likes about your body and dress accordingly. He won’t ever look away! You’re welcome – Old Married Broad.

      This “if you have it flaunt it” theory is kind of ghetto… I have only heard ghetto girls say that lol… Ewww….

      She has a pretty face but because she’s a stripper, she grosses me out. I don’t know, makes her seem dirty or used, or drug addicted, for some reason… Especially when she’s being caught with Cocaine… Gross. People on drugs like that gross me out. They don’t care what they are putting into their body, so do they care about hygiene, or condoms, or requesting clean records of STD tests? I doubt it.

      • BobnMic
        January 27, 2017 at 4:12 pm

        Still In Love with the Bobster I see. Time to move along.

        • BobnMic
          January 27, 2017 at 4:23 pm

          Hi Marie. How’s the heroin working out for you these days? It’s very obvious it is you ^^^. Have a nice day while your days are numbered before you score a bad batch. Do yourself a favor – make a will so your kid will not get fucked over when you O.D. and croak.

          • Robert Dulmaine from Athol
            January 28, 2017 at 11:50 am

            I hope the cunt overdoses! She’s a dirty useless bitch. Never cleans the house, barely earns a living, and allows our 8 year old son to go to bed at midnight because she’s too busy fucking around on the internet to take care of her family.

            She also smokes in the house and the car our son sits in. Lazy cunt can’t even step outside to feed her habits.

          • BobnMic
            January 28, 2017 at 11:30 pm

            Ya but she gives great lesbian bandana no makeup and stupid pig tails however. Gotta love those rotten teeth as well. Sporting a woody here. NOT! Negative on the wood factor.

          • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
            January 29, 2017 at 7:27 am

            Like anyone would be able to tell when I’m sporting wood, but when I am it’s a certifiable toothpick.

      • Sick of you
        January 27, 2017 at 9:56 pm

        Fiesty you’d look sexy 100% locked in a closet.

        • FiestyLawyerLady
          January 27, 2017 at 10:39 pm

          Move over. It will be the same closet you’re hiding in fudge packer.

          • Sick of you
            January 27, 2017 at 10:53 pm

            Excellent come back. That is right up there with “NA NA – NA NA NA.”

          • FiestyLawyerLady
            January 27, 2017 at 11:38 pm

            Yeah, you’re right. Hiding behind “Sick of you” is so creative in comparison.

            I love that I have made you that mad though… 😉

          • Sick of you
            January 28, 2017 at 12:16 am

            im mad?…no im glad that I got you mad…ha ha haha you nothing…there is a big difference…you suck and everybody knows it.

          • Fiestysux
            January 28, 2017 at 12:29 am

            Are you really still a thing? I thought you’d be long gone by now holy shit.

          • Robert Dulmaine from Athol
            January 28, 2017 at 11:47 am

            I can never get sick of anything. I’m married to a heroin addict who frequently sniffs cocaine off of her coworkers dick during her lunch break.

            I really didn’t want my girlfriend Marie Guilmette to work at Wentworth because I know her measly paycheck goes right to drugs, and cigarettes instead of our bills.

            I’m also a lazy fat fuck who should be earning enough to support my family but why should I? I get $775 in SSI for lying about my son’s special needs. It was Marie’s idea, she’s a genius when she isn’t pushing needles into her veins!!

          • BobnMic's Tiny Penis
            January 28, 2017 at 12:22 pm

            I have a needle dick. Do you think she’d let me push it into her veiny snatch hole if I sprinkled some brown sugar on it and told her it was heroin?

            I really really need to get laid.

          • BobnMic
            January 28, 2017 at 1:13 pm

            ^^^ Nice job there Turd. You seriously live for these stupid games don’t you. In addition to being a useless human being (much like a junk yard dog living in it’s own feces), you found a way to take out all of your life’s failures out on anybody that disagrees with you and/or is a success unlike you. Is that about right? Man, it must suck so bad to be you.

            But please do tell us more about credit cards and PIN numbers. That had me glued to my seat you worthless irrelevant fuck. You really should hook up with Fiesty. She could spew her holier than thou fraudulent legal advice that will put you in a legal jam and you could beg her for money because you cannot get a job. Sounds like a plan huh?

    • wtatnuckgangsta
      January 27, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      She’s lucky to have that skin tone and those curves. It will buy her more time before the drugs make her look like a gaunt tweeker. Or it may never happen. If this ginger here even has a glass of wine, I wake up looking like I’ve been shooting heroin for 20 years. Life is not fair and I hate the Irish for giving me their genes.

  • LincolnTf
    January 27, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    Some poor bastard in Palmer who has never heard of, but has always dreamed of a reptilian version of a Donkey Show, is going to be sorely disappointed.

  • Turd Burglestein
    January 27, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    Firsties again!!!! #1

Comment on this Post


Here Are The Most Popular Worcester Blogs From Turtleboy Sports History
I Am Turtleboy
Jeff Bauman Sends Big F You To Terrorist #2 By Impregnating Fiance