All-Star Criminals

Blue Checkmark Dick Cheese Shames Local Target Manager On Twitter Account With 200K Followers For Not Letting Him Steal A Tooth Brush 


Meet David Leavitt from Providence.

He’s a local Masshole with a blue checkmark (for unknown reasons) so he feels special. Today he went into a Target, mistakingly thought he saw a toothbrush priced for $0.01, found out it wasn’t, and decided to do this.

Owning the capitalist fat cats by shaming a Target employee, calling the cops over a tooth brush, and telling millions of people that you haven’t been to the dentist in three years. This is what Trump Derangement Syndrome does to people.

This dick cheese saw this:

And thought it applied to the tooth brush. In reality it was a thing they put on the back of the rack so people don’t steal it, and they have to put a price on it so they put a penny.

This guy is the Internet’s #1 villain right now. Most people would delete and retreat or offer a half-baked fake apology until the mob put down their pitch forks and waited for the next kid to get eaten by a pit bull. Not dick cheese though. He just kept defending himself.

The funny part is that he tweeted this less than 2 years ago.

Oops! Looks like he has been to the dentist in the last 3 years, as he let the world know when he was owning Trumpster at the dentist’s office.

This is not a parody either. We’ve written about him a few times before, like that time in 2017 when minutes after a bomb went off at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester he tweeted this.

He was just WAITING to post an Ariana Grande joke that finally hit for years.

Anthony Bourdain and thousands of other people rightfully called him out for being a dick cheese, and Davey got his revenge when Bourdain died the next year by tweeting this.

Not the first time he’s used his verified Twitter account with over 200,000 followers to dox and shame a private citizen who he felt wronged him at a chain store. Like that time a guy at the Hanover Walmart allegedly wronged him.

Or that time the guy who can’t afford to buy a tooth brush or go to the dentist complained that Dunkin Donuts wouldn’t take his money because it was larger than a $20 bill.

And then bragged when they gave him a free gift card after he used his platform to shame them.

He’s trying to do the same with Target.

He also likes to blatantly plagiarize random people’s tweets and pass them off on his own.

And ask for the manager.

So the why is this testicle turd still verified on Twitter? Simple – when he’s not shaming minimum wage employees for doing their job he’s subscribing to orange man bad.

We wrote about him over the summer when he fell for the Erica Thomas race baiting grocery store hoax.

He’s your run of the mill Bernie bro, and is even followed by him on Twitter.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – Bernie people are the worst the left has to offer. They’re the people who think Elizabeth Warren isn’t radical enough because she once had a job. That’s why he tweeted this out immediately after the Target shaming tweet.

Because he knows that whining about paying your bills will get the Bernie bros to forget that he just tried to humiliate and ruin a minimum wage employee for not letting him steal a tooth brush.

Just like all Bernie bros he also appears to be perpetually unemployed. He claimed in his bio that he wrote for CBS….

but they denied that after the Ariana Grande tweet.

I can’t find any of his work on their website or on Yahoo where he also claimed to be a featured contributor.

So what does he do for work then? Well, back in his younger days he was answering phones and dealing with returns at Aaron’s

Then he as a “social media manager.”

Ya got that? The guy who is the biggest villain in the history of social media wants you to hire him to run your social media. Times are surprisingly tough.

No wonder he can’t afford a tooth brush.

He also sits on his ass and seems to make money playing video games.

This guy a video game nerd?

I just can’t picture it.

He’s a grown ass man who still plays with Magic cards and doesn’t know how the laundry works.

He sells his crap on Facebook, hoping that someone from the legion of virgins will finally be the first person to buy.

He claims to be making bank from places like Hasbro, but conveniently doesn’t show how much they’ve paid him.

And two years ago he started a website that sounds like a pyramid scheme and probably never existed.

He pretended to have a girlfriend last year and posted a bunch of pictures of her on IG.

But you’ll notice that she doesn’t have a single picture of him on her IG.

Literally everyone on Twitter, left and right, has united around hatred of this eternal twat mongrel. Carpe Donktum, a guy who makes memes and gifs that President Trump retweets a lot, started a GoFundMe for Tori the manager that’s raised over $10,000.

Hey Tori, if you’re reading this I don’t have $10,000 to give you, but I’d love to have you on the Turtleboy Live show tomorrow night. Email me at if you’re interested!



Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


88 Comment(s)
  • Pro Bono Accountant
    January 19, 2020 at 1:03 am

    David, you do realize that going to the dentist to get your teeth cleaned twice a year is extremely important? It ends up saving you from having to get even more costly dental procedures in the future. Yes, it’s expensive. But worth every penny. An average teeth cleaning costs approximately $140 x twice a year = $280. That breaks down to approximately $6 a week. You appear to be an able bodied individual without legal diminished capacity. What kind of a complete loser can’t set aside $6 a week? How’s about not going to Dunks for breakfast. Get your God Damn teeth cleaned instead. Or maybe you do. Since you bragged about getting your dentist office to shut off Fox News on Twitter. So you’re either a liar or you have stinky rotten teeth. Either way… you are a complete degenerate. Please bathe with your toaster. If you don’t own one… I hear they’re on sale at Target.

  • Mr. Bubba
    January 19, 2020 at 12:07 am

    What a fucking maroon!

    I sincerely want to engage in fisticuffs with this clown, immediately!

  • Carney
    January 18, 2020 at 11:18 pm

    David you filthy cocksucker
    President Trump will win the electoral college again
    And continue to step on you liberal Shit bags and homosexual perverts

    Thank you Lord Jesus for sending us Donald J Trump

  • Mark Rogers
    January 18, 2020 at 11:13 pm

    I grew up with David and he’s not a bad guy
    He’s had a hard life
    His aunt raised him
    His mother was a teen prostitute when she had him
    He never knew his father
    He has done some kind things for people

  • Judge dread
    January 18, 2020 at 9:10 pm

    This dude deserves a good old fashion gang style initiation 30 second beat down. Then after that someone should take off his shoe and beat his testicles so he can never breed.

    Flipping off trump tower, wow that’s original.when I went to dc with my ex gf back in 2016 I made the three objectives I wanted to achieve while I was driving down there:

    1. Go to the NSA Crypto Museum
    2. Double middle finger the federal reserve building
    3. Double middle finger the IRS building

    2 and 3 were achieved. She was a photographer so I was just standing their while she setup her shot for like 1-2 minutes of me flipping them off. It was kinda awesome. If anyone inside saw us they were probably like this dude is tapped.

    Hey don’t knock Magic the gathering man. The judge has been playing it 4-5x a month online on my PS4 and iPad for years. I love it but I’m not going to get physical cards and playing it at a hobby store in some homosexual part of town.

  • David's Mother
    January 18, 2020 at 8:42 pm

    Oy Vey. David. I am SO disappointed in you. You are not the nice Jewish boy I raised you to be.

  • Anderson Coopers impacted stool
    January 18, 2020 at 3:57 pm

    Officer, that’s the man that did it!!

  • Bruno Tattaglia
    January 18, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    This pickle smoocher needs a good old fashioned
    Narragansett tune up.

  • POS
    January 18, 2020 at 3:05 pm

    Retired police
    This guy is full of shit
    No crime was committed the police would not write up a report on this
    They would ask the manager if she wanted to no trespass this asshole that’s all

  • Clarence
    January 18, 2020 at 2:57 pm

    I think this fag is a shit bag but Anthony Bourdain was a liberal piece of shit and I laughed and clapped when he killed himself

  • Clarence Darrow
    January 18, 2020 at 2:49 pm

    David the jew Leavitt
    The next time you post your picture you should clean your negroe boyfriends cum out of your beard
    It looks awful

    You piece of shit

  • Full Metal Ratchet
    January 18, 2020 at 2:18 pm

    Trump card beats the wizard card in every hand.

  • Pray to God Someone Fucks Cuck David Up
    January 18, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    I fucking hate beta soyboy cuck liberals far more than ratchets. Id give a weeks pay to punch him as hard as i can then watch him cry like the bitch he is.

  • Be Careful
    January 18, 2020 at 1:52 pm

    He is a gay gay man. Now we wouldn’t want to offend any gays. They are a protected species

    • Peter North
      January 18, 2020 at 5:27 pm

      you mean he’s a fucking faggot

  • Jizzabreath Warren
    January 18, 2020 at 1:33 pm

    I want that man on my team!!

  • 30 years a Slav
    January 18, 2020 at 12:48 pm

    Poor Tori. She looks SO out of fucks to give in that still image. I wouldn’t want any job like hers where she has to cater to shitfuckers like this guy.

  • Rolf Mayo
    January 18, 2020 at 12:38 pm

    LOL calling a Dunks with the policy of not being able to accept bills larger than a 20 “Not accepting American Currency”. What a fucking humjob this guy is. Who doesn’t have a debit card?

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    January 18, 2020 at 12:23 pm

    I laud David for not falling for this classic bait and switch scam. They priced the $89 toothbrush for 1 cent only to gouge him at the register! David is standing up to those maniacal billionaire owners of the Target!

  • Holocaust Was Fake
    January 18, 2020 at 12:03 pm

    One of (((those))).

    • Holocaust Was Fake
      January 18, 2020 at 12:25 pm

      But my mom’s gang rape porno is real!

      Several of (((them)))) in fact!

  • Cheddah
    January 18, 2020 at 11:16 am

    I guess we can only hope that hopefully soon David Leavitt will get punched in the face for the first time REALLY REALLY HARD…

    R.I.P. Anthony Bourdain

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    January 18, 2020 at 11:12 am

    Casual Observations:

    Eins) Now is time on Sprockets when we dance.
    Zwei) Tori: Wood and would pay her more than $0.01
    Drei) Plot Twist: Target discovers that Dieter switched price tags, files shoplifting charge

    • BitchTits
      January 18, 2020 at 11:59 am

      Best comment ever on a TB story.

  • What A Douche
    January 18, 2020 at 11:07 am

    Malden know people can make money from YouTube. Do people also get money from what they put on Twitter? Is that how this pussy gets to stay home and not work?

  • Takes and posts Tori's picture???
    January 18, 2020 at 10:53 am

    What a fucking lowlife.

  • Greg
    January 18, 2020 at 10:45 am

    This guy is an asshole but Donald Trump is still a steaming pile of shit.

    • Said Everyone
      January 18, 2020 at 11:09 am

      What are you going to do when he wins in November?

    • Chester
      January 18, 2020 at 3:00 pm

      I’m surprised you don’t like the president
      Your mother told me she used to travel down to NYC to suck his balls at the trump tower

    • Greg
      January 19, 2020 at 10:49 am

      I love the hot lunch so let the steaming begin and please finish on my face

  • MAGA
    January 18, 2020 at 10:43 am

    I hope he holds his breath waiting for that police report. There’s no fucking way a report was taken. He’s a lying asshole

  • Anonymous
    January 18, 2020 at 10:41 am

    Uncle TB, there is a Target location further south than NA. Just west of Fall River. Do with this information what you will.

  • Spoiler Maker
    January 18, 2020 at 10:38 am

    A toothbrush for one penny is clearly a mis-printed price and an error. Funny how these “letter of the law” cunts only take that standpoint when it’s something they want, but not when it’s a law they disagree with. Side note, his twitter picture is the most simpering, cum-guzzling pic I’ve ever seen. A bearded man-baby.

  • Nancy Pelosi
    January 18, 2020 at 10:30 am

    Leave him alone.

    • Tyree
      January 18, 2020 at 10:51 pm

      Nancy I’d like to suck your big tits

      • Greta Thunberg
        January 18, 2020 at 11:46 pm

        How Dare You!!

  • D boon
    January 18, 2020 at 10:27 am

    When Jell-O Biafra of the dead Kennedys wrote about holiday in Cambodia they were talking about guys like this

  • Washashore
    January 18, 2020 at 10:26 am

    It won’t be long before a “disorder” is created for social media addicts. There’s money to be made and free shit to be taken..

  • Hunter Biden
    January 18, 2020 at 10:14 am

    I would take a blumpkin from his pumpkin escort.

    • Elton Johns Husband
      January 18, 2020 at 10:21 am

      I would give David a rusty trombone.

  • .
    January 18, 2020 at 10:07 am

    Imagine getting the call from dispatch reporting a disturbance at Target, only to find this hairy faced schmuck badgering a young female employee over a toothbrush? Im guessing after 30 seconds of listening to him the officer was secretly dreaming the taser could have been used.

  • Who Flung Cum
    January 18, 2020 at 10:06 am

    Tori, hubba hubba.

  • Anselmo
    January 18, 2020 at 10:06 am

    David,I am here to audit your rectum.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    January 18, 2020 at 10:01 am

    His name is: David Trump-hating PacMan fag shirt-wearing, entitled, “Can I Speak to Your Manager?” Leavitt.

    All that needs to be said.

  • Whacky Jackie
    January 18, 2020 at 9:59 am

    A total douche canoe. It’s because of people like him that this country is so fucked up.

  • In the old days of Providence...
    January 18, 2020 at 9:56 am

    The back office of the Coin-O-Matic on Atwells
    could make this shit stain disappear for good.

  • Fleavitt
    January 18, 2020 at 9:45 am

    He’s a known Twitter scumbag. I’ve personally dealt with him in Providence. Total POS.

  • Toilet duck
    January 18, 2020 at 9:45 am

    I’ve worked in retail. This is not how the $0.01 thing works. At all.

  • whatevuh
    January 18, 2020 at 9:38 am

    His head will explode when Trump gets re-elected KAG 2020

  • she man twat
    January 18, 2020 at 9:25 am

    These fucktards piss me off sooooooooo much. Contributing absolutely NOTHING to society, using his blue checkmark to harass, blackmail and strongarm businesses into giving him free shit.I just want to take him and his fucking blue checkmark for a boat ride with some cement blocks and rope…You sure do have a purdy mouth..I see his fag buddy in the pumpkin picture sly-vog commented , nice crotch muncher

  • Rogaine my balls
    January 18, 2020 at 9:18 am

    Hey uncle TB how about writing a story about Rep. Ayanna Pressley’s heroic battle with hair loss??

  • kevins9iron
    January 18, 2020 at 9:14 am

    He’s actually a pretty chill dude and Tori seems like a bitch for not honoring the price. I don’t think I would have called the police but I wouldn’t leave there without paying .01 for that toothbrush even if I had to get the corporate office on the phone.

  • Hire Tori if your in this area
    January 18, 2020 at 9:01 am

    Send her on a nice vacation.This guy is such a maggot.
    His girlfriend needs to avoid him like the Aids.

  • Sheila
    January 18, 2020 at 8:54 am

    This is just how they behave in that tribe

  • F-150 vs Silverado
    January 18, 2020 at 8:54 am

    Hey gang it’s that time of year again to buy a leftover truck for write off purposes and I was wondering if any riders bought either the 2019 Ford F-150 or the Chevy 1500 Silverado and what you thought about it?
    Thanks in advance for sharing your truck experience fellow Turtle Riders.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      January 18, 2020 at 12:17 pm

      I personally would get the chevy, however please test drive the ford first and test it’s milatary grade aluminum body by hitting a bridge embankment at 80 mph. we will be waiting with baited breath for your review.

      • murdochpatsymcreynolds
        Franklin Sucks
        January 18, 2020 at 12:33 pm

        Baited breath! hahahaha

    • Dick Celery
      January 18, 2020 at 5:38 pm

      Uh no, actually the time to buy the truck was in December. It’s too late if you are using it for a 2019 write off.

  • Finn
    January 18, 2020 at 8:36 am

    David Leavitt… WOULD.

    Get Fucked

  • BitchTits
    January 18, 2020 at 8:31 am

    David Leavitt…Leavitt….Leavitt…

    Hmmmm, I wonder what ethnicity he could be? African? Asian? Wait, no…he couldn’t be…Jewish?!?

    I think we’ve cracked the case. Only a dirty Jew would whine about not being able to pay an obviously erroneous price for an item. Even called the police! What a Jew.

    • BitchTits
      January 18, 2020 at 10:03 am

      That said, I’m glad AF that Trump added Alan Dershowitz to his legal defense team.

      After all, I may be a low-life, a celibate wonder, a social shut-in, and an overall douchebag, I do know that if you want legal help, go with the Jewish lawyer every time!

  • Jason Varitek
    January 18, 2020 at 8:19 am

    This guy is a bigger pussy than A-rod.

    • Pedro Martinez
      January 18, 2020 at 8:31 am

      I’ll drill her inside with a fastball to the meat wallet.

  • Cimabue's Old Paintbrush
    January 18, 2020 at 7:18 am

    This zero’s biggest accomplishment is getting a blue checkmark. He’s done nothing else with his life. Shows you where we are at these days as a society.

  • John Wayne Gacy
    January 18, 2020 at 7:10 am


  • Tori
    January 18, 2020 at 7:02 am

    I should have kicked her in the pussy.

  • Spic Tormentor
    January 18, 2020 at 7:01 am

    obviously this faggot was going to shove that tooth brush up his ass handle first.

    Tori is a beautiful young woman who deserves a raise for having to deal with scum like this.

  • This Is a Narcissist , not everyone you hate is a Narcissist but he is.
    January 18, 2020 at 6:56 am

    Bet he drives a Jeep with oversized tires a high lifter jack bolted to the hood that he can’t operate or understand and attends cross-fit. Nothing wrong with Jeeps and big tires, like a gun it’s the person operating it.

    He’s Paul Mitchell without the success.

  • Fred Knessl
    January 18, 2020 at 6:55 am

    Yes, Undemploy-able Deadbeat Dad Liberals just don’t get it.
    So give ’em a blue checkmark cuz he hates trump

  • Trevor Noah
    January 18, 2020 at 6:48 am

    A Pac Man blazer???? And you thought I was gay…..

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    January 18, 2020 at 6:36 am

    Miss Chris is right. David is not a man.

    Social Media is Anal Cancer

    January 18, 2020 at 6:15 am

    You sir are the exact reason why my husband and I don’t have children. My parents and in-laws are always like, “why don’t you guys have a baybeeee?” It’s because we are terrified the child would turn out like you. Even though we know we’d try our damndest to teach our child right from wrong and instill good conservative values… you just never know how a crotch fruit’s gonna turn out. You David are everything that is wrong with the world today. You are not a man. You are the lowest form of life. And I say this with all sincerity… I would absolutely commit suicide if anything even remotely resembling you spewed out of my uterus.
    – Miss Chris
    PS – Go brush your teeth fuck stick.

  • Aspiring Rapper from the mean streets of Weston
    January 18, 2020 at 6:10 am

    Calls Trump, Republicans and anyone who supports him “racist”….as he mocks Trump by calling him an “orange skinned businessman”. This bozo probably doesn’t even realize the irony in his own stupidity.

  • Feel the Burn...
    January 18, 2020 at 5:47 am

    I do not need the vote of someone who collects
    gerbils and baby Yoda dolls in his colon.

    • Richard Gere’s Gerbil
      January 18, 2020 at 6:19 am

      This guy makes the hair on my back stand

      • Joe Biden
        January 19, 2020 at 10:47 am

        When he was younger he made the hair stand up on my legs in the pool

  • Granny Warrens Sweater Collection
    January 18, 2020 at 5:42 am

    He’s gay.

  • David Leavitt
    January 18, 2020 at 5:31 am

    Dear Diary –
    Being the complete and utter fucking faggot that I am, today I decided to go to my local Target, humiliate an employee for not selling me an $80 toothbrush for $0.01 that I had planned on fucking myself in the ass with tonight. #anotherlonelyfridaynight

  • John Blutarsky
    January 18, 2020 at 5:25 am

    Someone needs to smash this fucking homo right in the fucking teeth. Maybe he’ll be able to drum up more clients for his glory hole business if he can give gumjobs.

  • Idi Amin
    January 18, 2020 at 4:54 am

    I would fuck her in the ass.Cum on his game of thrones figurines.
    Wipe it off on his gay beard.Then feed them to my crocodiles.

    • wtf
      January 18, 2020 at 7:04 am

      Do you realize you are gay? Do you justify your homosexual fantasies by accusing the victim of placing those fantasies in your mind?

      • Idi Amin
        January 18, 2020 at 7:21 am

        I enjoyed her ass far more than the beard wipe.
        The crocodile feeding was far more entertaining
        than the last Democratic debate though.

  • Sleepy Joe Biden
    January 18, 2020 at 4:41 am

    Total hog sniffer.

  • Turtlegoy
    January 18, 2020 at 4:20 am

    Blur checkmark (the yellow badge of twitter), harassed Trump’s account enough to get blocked by him and brags about it, nose takes up 50% of his face, trying to shyster an 80 dollar electric toothbrush for a literal penny…. someone hand me a can of zyklon B.

  • Independent Thinker
    January 18, 2020 at 3:18 am

    Now you can’t even work in retail without some loser shaming you on unsocial media and then trying to get you fired. Disgusting.

    Going into a store and trying to get something for nothing seems to be the norm these days. The same can be said for going into a pub high as a kite and complaining that they won’t serve you, or going into a real estate office trying to buy a house when you have no money and then filing a discrimination complaint. That’s what deadbeats do. All the more reason why we voted for Trump.

  • Zeke Kyle
    January 18, 2020 at 3:16 am

    Typical Jewish behaviour.

  • Testicle Turd
    January 18, 2020 at 2:31 am

    Hope someone throws a hatchet at this douche.
    Or at least a wizard card.WTF??

    Trump 2020

Comment on this Post


White Trash Hero Wears T-Shirt With His Mugshot On It From Last Time He Was Arrested At Latest Mugshot Photoshoot
Tsarnaev Sister Threatened Boyfriend’s Ex With A Bomb Because She’s A Muslim Terrorist And A Tsarnaev And This Is What They Do Best
Ladies Night At TBSports: Will Women Read Our Official Rankings Of NFL Teams Blog?