• Cape Cod Gingerbeast Who Pulled A Knife In Traffic While Topless Last Month Was Arrested Again For Driving Drunk On 3 Tires, Telling Cops She Has The Devil In Her



    Cape Cod Gingerbeast Who Pulled A Knife In Traffic While Topless Last Month Was Arrested Again For Driving Drunk On 3 Tires, Telling Cops She Has The Devil In Her

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    Last month SSTG blogged about this crazy Cape Cod ginger who ripped her shirt off in traffic and tried to stab another driver with her tig ol bitties hanging out for the world to see.

    Her Google was like a pandora’s box of rachetry. Seriously, this chick has been arrested in the most hilarious ways possible, over, and over, and over again…

     

    Stealing pie and chicken salad. She’s the Huckelberry Finn of Cape Cod.

    Well it took her about a month to get arrested once again in hilarious fashion:

    A Sandwich woman familiar to police is facing multiple charges after another odd run-in with police. Police were called to the scene of a loud party on Bob White Lane at 6:20 PM on Monday, August 28. The reporting party noted that they saw a blue truck being operated erratically while leaving the party, driving over lawns in the area. Police found the pickup truck and noted that it was making a loud, rumbling sound. As the vehicle approached, the officer saw that it was running on three tires—the fourth wheel was only the rim.

    Of course she was driving around without a fourth tire. They’re overrated anyway. Not nearly as important as acquiring more pie!!

     When the vehicle was stopped, the operator, identified as Susan N. Kettell, 39, stepped out of the vehicle. She told police, “This car is f**ked, and I am s**t-faced.” Police also noted that she was only wearing one boot and they were not sure where the other one was.

    Yea this is gonna be a tough one to fight in court. She was just getting warmed up too….

    The officer attempted to administer field sobriety tests, but Ms. Kettell refused, saying that “the cleft in the chin means the devil’s within.” 

    Well yea…you are a ginger. We all know the devil is embedded deep inside your soul. Just kidding, everyone knows gingers don’t have souls.

    Just getting all these ginger jokes out of my system until the PC police starts treating redheads like a protected class, immune from amusing anecdotes.

    At this point, Ms. Kettell was placed under arrest. She was charged with operating under the influence of liquor for a third offense, carrying a dangerous weapon, operating a motor vehicle with a revoked license, possessing an open container of alcohol in a motor vehicle and wantonly injuring real or personal property. 

    She was arrested earlier this year after she attacked an off-duty officer with a knife while topless. A few months before that, she was arrested after she broke into Lambert’s to steal a large amount of chicken salad.

    New rule – If you’ve ever tried to stab an off duty cop in traffic with your gerber servers blowing in the wind for the world to see, you get a ridiculously high bail. Because you’re a clear and sudden danger to society. Obviously this woman is insane. Something’s wrong with her and I actually feel bad, because from what people tell us she was normal at one point. Even has kids and shit.

    But the fact of the matter is she’s gonna get someone killed, and then her shenanigans aren’t gonna be nearly as humorous.

    But seriously, as hilarious as her arrest reports are, this woman is a menace and extremely dangerous to both herself and everyone she comes in contact with. It’s really only a matter of time until she gets someone killed, and then her shenanigans aren’t gonna be nearly as humorous. Just sayin.

     

     

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    Discussion

    1. Fire Crotch


      Gingers can lead normal productive lives.

      Seriously. They can

      1. TIG OLE BITTIES


        And her Shenanigans aren’t going to be nearly as humerous and her Shenanigans aren’t going to be nearly as humerous and her shenanigans arent going to be nearly as humerous and her shenanigans arent going to be nearly as humerous. Just sayin

    2. Jack Mehoff


      I’m sure Maura Healey will come to the rescue of this desperately needed Democrat voter. I hear ginger tea is her favorite…

    3. #afreckleasoul


      There’s seriously a town called “Sandwich”?? “The Sandwich police” had me dying, and it totally fits that the officers name is Mckracken, just wish his first name was Phil.
      Anyway, gingers have no souls, so she was totally justified, she could probably use it as a defense and get off scott free.

      1. becca


        yes there is a town called sandwich this crazy lady i knew her

    4. gfldgadfly


      Who the hell would even intentionally invite her to a party?! Or was she the paid entertainment with that crazy red clown wig she’s got on? Clown wig… likes to get Crunk and show her tits… claims to be possess by the devil… we may have a Juggalete on our hands, folks. Hide yo kids! Hide yo pipe! Hide yo delicious pies!

    5. Webster Turtle Rider


      She needs to put down the bottle. Guarantee 70% of her problems fade away. Unless, of course, she’s self-medicating mental illness but I’ll tell ya the booze ain’t helping.

    6. I'm a Ginger LOL


      She really likes that dang Chicken Salad! Wonder if she knows she can get huge cans for free at the food pantry? Least she could stop stealing that

    7. Jackie's Packie


      She also was/is married to the South Shore Tickler. Dude got drunk and chased some little girls around a Chuck E. Cheese type place in the Kingston Mall, trying to tickle them. Sounds like the family is as fucked as their car.

      1. guheughgij


        she used to be normal she has normal kids

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