Princeza, the legendary Springfield stripper, was arrested AGAIN this week, and as usual the arrest report was filled with hilarity.
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You’ll never guess who’s back in the news…..
Yup, that’s right – everyone’s favorite Springfield meatwagon, Princeza the Magic Lantern stripper!!!
This woman, who is obviously taking her clothes off for money in order to finance her way through law school, was arrested last year after getting busted in a heroin distribution ring. But because she only had a possession charge, and they were after the people she was with, she was lucky enough to have the charges dropped.
Then a year later (last week) the Springfield PD saw her sitting in a parked car, in a lot that has been the site of several recent break ins. Naturally when they approached the car they found her with no pants on, sitting next to an open bottle of whiskey. And since she’s a Springfield trap queen she obviously refused to come out of the car, kicked a cop when they tried to remove her, and ended up being tased into submission. Perfectly normal.
Well check out what she did this time:
Exotic dancer Princeza Aponte is facing cocaine, marijuana and motor vehicle charges following her second arrest in two weeks. Aponte, 25, of Springfield, pleaded not guilty Tuesday in Springfield District Courtto driving under the influence of drugs, possession of cocaine, having an open container of marijuana in a vehicle, negligent operation and failing to use a turn signal.
On Tuesday, after being pulled over on Frank B. Murray St., Aponte’s mood was more mellow, that report said. “She appeared lethargic and very relaxed and continuously laughed at all my questions,” Massachusetts State Trooper Joel Daoust wrote. At one point, she denied taking any medication or using legal or illegal drugs, the report said.
“What about marijuana?” the trooper asked.
“Oh well, you didn’t mention that (laugh),” she replied, according to the report.
Later, after finding a clump of white powder rolled up in a $5 bill, the trooper asked what it was.
“Cocaine. … I forgot it was there,” she answered, still laughing, the report said.
Aponte, a dancer at the Magic Lantern strip bar in Monson, appeared subdued and had no lawyer during her Tuesday court appearance. Judge William Boyle, citing her income as a dancer, said she did not qualify for a public defender.
The latest case began when a state trooper reported seeing Aponte driving erratically on Liberty Street around 2 a.m. Tuesday. After the trooper activated his flashing lights, Aponte eventually pulled over and told the trooper she was returning home after visiting a friend, the arrest report said. She appeared “dazed and confused” and had a “greenish/whitish film” on her tongue — a sign of marijuana use, the trooper wrote. When he asked if she knew where she was, she responded no, the trooper said.
“I told Aponte to wait where she was and that I would be right back. While walking back to my cruiser, I glanced back at Aponte’s car and noticed she had begun to drive away,” the trooper wrote. “I immediately yelled, ‘Hey, stop,’ and the car came to a stop after traveling approximately 3-4 car lengths,” the report said.
After performing poorly on a field sobriety test, Aponte was arrested and placed in the cruiser. At state police headquarters, she continued to laugh throughout the booking process, even after learning she was being charged with operating under the influence of drugs, the report said. “But I didn’t have anything to drink,” she replied.
There is no one, and I repeat, NO ONE in the 413, who has less fucks to give than our girl Princeza. Like, she fears absolutely nothing. Which is weird because she obviously has a lot to lose, and I’m sure the Magic Lantern has a morals clause once you start working there. The cops pulled her over and could tell immediately she was all fucked up. And what does she do? Laughs at them because they didn’t explicitly ask if she just blazed a fatty, and then she’s like, “oh yea, forgot about all that cocaine right there.”
First of all, what kind of savage smokes pot and does coke at the same time? What’s the point? They do the exact opposite thing. I can understand if she was doing a whole bunch of blow because she wanted to numb her magic lantern but still be alert in preparation for the inevitable 3 AM gang bang. But then what’s the point of burning one down after that? Seems counterproductive. Then again, Princeza has never been one to follow conventional wisdom…..or laws.
Then after the cop goes back to his car she tries driving away. But only for 25 feet. Because Princeza just had to let the trooper know that she is always in control, and sometimes it’s just fun to fuck with State Troopers like that. YOLO!!
I think we can all agree that the most surprising part about this story is the fact that she had pants on. Must’ve been a special occasion. Baby steps people. Baby steps. Anyway, hope Princeza keeps getting low bail so we can keep chronicling the adventures of Springfield’s most legendary ratchet. Just try not to hurt anyone, because that wouldn’t be very funny at all.
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