Lurchbeast Who Raised Dunks Highchair Mini Mollywopper Wants You To Know Shes Sorry For Her Parenting Fail But Keeps Her Kids Surrounded By Hoodboogers

Looks like both ends of this child-rearing fail could benefit from a backhand to the chops. Get ready for some six degrees of ratchet separation!








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Holla atcha girl:








Last week, we introduced you to Jason Brillon, the ghettotastic Daddy Dunks whose daughter garnered worldwide attention when she took a plastic highchair to the domepiece at Dunkin Donuts at the hands of a ‘bully.’ He was a fucking gem, as was his babymama-du-jour, JIZelle Arriaga (we’re still trying to determine if that’s a family name or one she earned)

based on her spermy brows, we’re gonna go with the latter. JIZ came out in a jizzbomb-bagBOOM in the comments section to defend the honor of her sperm donor. How sweet! But that’s not really the main event here.


Anyway, we promised in that blog we’d introduce you to the other piece of the puzzle, the lurchbeast who is ‘raising’ a rabid animal

Tina Ruiz, reformed junkie and perma-sad-face-teardrop-tattoo mami of the year



She’s just putting her lyfe back 2gether for the 1,546,796th time.


Here’s what she had to say about the incident:

OK… that was tough to get through. However, she does raise some valid points (I had to use my handy-dandy ratchet decoder) so I’ll break it down for you:

  1. She doesn’t agree with, nor condone her daughter’s behavior. – +1
  2. She took her kid’s cell phone away, grounded her for the entire summer +.5 because 11 year old’s really shouldn’t have phones to begin with
  3. She doesn’t agree with corporal punishment to deter a kid from hitting another kid – violence begets violence. +1
  4. She ran her kid right over to the other parents’ house to apologize +1
  5. She’s reaching out to other parents on how to handle this situation. +1 ’cause it definitely takes a village
  6. She’s airing allllll of her personal information on the Facebook machine, including her child’s name, publicly. -100,000,000 #nope


So, Mama Ratchet realizes her kid is a monster and is trying to undo years of unraising in a single Facebook post. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. You gotta instill good, solid morals, values, and self-respect each and every day from the time they’re old enough to utter their first word. Parenting is a 24/7 job, and you can’t decide to hop on the Good-Mama-Express once shit hits the fan and expect for it to undo what’s been done. The behavior this Jr. Hoodrat is displaying at her age is pretty much set in stone as a personality and will only worsen without professional intervention. Your kid needs a behaviorist and some counselling STAT in order to slow the downward spiral. Moving out of the cesspool in which you currently reside might help, too.


But wait… who do we have in the comments section of Tina’s post?


Taybaybay Chris, AKA Taleyah Chris

who happens to be the terrible amateur videographer from our recent Trashua Hoodbunny throwdown video. This Bebe’s kid showed up in the comments section with her homeskillets to defend the honor of a dead chud who made a small cameo appearance in yesterday’s Meet The Trashua ratchets blog. 

Things went hilariously south from there, but unfortunately, these little bitches pulled a delete and retreat after threatening to kill poor Turtleriders who they mistook for being the writers of the blog.

However, we were able to snag a few screenshots before things were deleted:


Oh, Bret. <3


Get ready for your 6 degrees of hoodrat separation!  It appears that Taleyah is friends with one of Mama Ratchet’s older ratchetsaurus hatchlings, so now it is abundantly clear why the Highchair Hurler is on the path she is. She has no good role models in her life, only drug-addled and rage-filled hoodboogers who are constantly getting arrested:







and who believe street cred is the be all, end all, stopping at nothing to keep extra-vowel-filled names out of people’s mouths, yo.



And it’s reproducing. One more mouth on the dole, why not? Keep an eye out for those foodstamp peddlin’ posts in a few months!

Take note of the date on her last arrest (5/17/17) and the date of her positive dollar tree special pregnancy tests. Guess who’s beefin’ and resisting arrest while knocked up? Ring, ring, DCYF…










7 Comment(s)
  • Captain Crunch
    July 18, 2017 at 7:24 am

    Her messages are illegible. This must be some for of Massachusetts Ratchet Creole/Pidgeon Ingrish.

    You see a tear drop tattoo on anyone’s face go the other way, clear indication of a malfunctioning and mind.

  • They call me Ponch
    July 18, 2017 at 7:10 am

    I read the texts but only understand maybe 60%. FRFR

    Look moms, I’m doing it !!
    ( 60% is still enough to pass, right?)

  • Kerri Bishop
    July 18, 2017 at 2:46 am

    Babies in the mean streets of New Hampshire (???!!) need to learn how to fight in utero! If the fetus can’t take a few punches now how are they gonna survive out in the hood??
    Jesus H. Christ, did we get sucked into some parallel dimension where all this shit is normal???

  • The Executioner
    July 17, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Before they cut medicare and social security, they should eliminate EBT. Just saying.

    • Bernie Sanders
      July 17, 2017 at 10:07 pm

      If they eliminated EBT who would vote for me? EBT for everyone! $500 a week taken from the millionaires and billionaires. Free healthcare for immigrant zucchinis! I make balloon animals with my colostomy bag!

  • Wabbitt
    July 17, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    It’s the circle of shitbags. They ALWAYS know each other.

      July 18, 2017 at 7:40 am

      Thank Gawd you can’t impregnate a chick from POF after a hardcore Sexting sesh. It’s amazing how fast a girl is willing to send you a pic of her titooed dirty pillows and peach pit. Being alone with my dog forever is looking better and better.

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